From The Comedy Store - The Patriot Post

The State Department admitted it spent half a million dollars last year on liquor. There’s an explanation. The Secretary of State was married to Bill Clinton and her assistant was married to Anthony Weiner so the liquor expense was written off under humanitarian aid.

The Ronald Reagan Presidential Library is posting a holiday recipe book of Reagan’s favorite Christmas party treats. Included in it is his egg nog recipe which mixes two cups of alcohol with two cups of egg nog. The Gipper always believed in peace through strength.

U.N. observers said an al-Qaeda fighter in Syria accidentally beheaded a fellow rebel whom he misidentified. The victim’s platoon is just furious. President Obama had assured the rebels when they signed up that if they like their head they can keep their head, period.

The White House issued talking points telling people how to argue for the Affordable Care Act with Republicans at their Thanksgiving table. It never stops. People are starting to believe that the bin Laden raid was just a bungled attempt to sign him up for Obamacare.

President Obama was funny hosting the annual pardoning ceremony for two turkeys. Word sure gets around. When the president told the turkeys if they like their heads they can keep their heads, they took off and flew for the first time in their lives.

Michelle Obama urged Democrats to pitch Obamacare over Thanksgiving dinner and gave them fourteen talking points. Democrats approach health care the same way the Amish go hunting. They sneak up on a deer in the glen and then they build a barn around it.

British Petroleum announced the appointment of American Robert Dudley as its new CEO. The company says it’s committed to new energy sources, Thanks to BP, Ford just invented a car that runs on water, but only on water from the Gulf of Mexico.

Auburn upset Alabama on the final play of the game when a kid ran a failed field goal attempt back for the winning touchdown. The kid got a call from the White House after the game. The Obamacare website designer wanted to know if he had any ideas.

Former presidential candidate John Edwards announced he’s starting a law firm, Edwards-Kirby, which he says will represent the disenfranchised. Five years ago Edwards was removed as a prime-time speaker at the Democratic Convention because of his adulterous affair and he was replaced with Bill Clinton. You have to put your foot down.

President Obama claimed progress in the War on Terror in his presidency during an ABC interview. That’s true. For eight years, George W. Bush said terrorists hate us for our freedom and prosperity and today they have to think of a new reason to hate us.

Amazon’s CEO Jeff Bezos told CBS News he’s planning to have Amazon deliver packages to each recipient’s front door using unmanned drone aircraft. Everyone’s very excited. This will clear the way for all of us to bomb al-Qaeda hideouts with skin care products.

Transparency International released a study showing North Korea to be the most corrupt country in the world. Everything’s for sale in Pyongyang. Last week, President Kim Jung Un bribed his cabinet to promote him to North Korea’s highest military rank, five-foot-two.

The N.Y. Times caused Democrats to chafe last week by calling the ObamaCare rollout disaster “Obama’s Katrina.” That’s totally unfair. George W. Bush didn’t see Hurricane Katrina approaching the Louisiana coast on the Doppler radar and re-name it after himself.

The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store