The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store

By Argus Hamilton ·
https://patriotpost.us/opinion/23699-from-the-comedy-store-2014-03-01

The Washington Post ripped President Obama for making laws by executive orders without Congress. It’s perfectly legal. Law professors say his executive orders are unconstitutional but it’s not true, he just issued an executive order making them constitutional.

Senate Democrats up for re-election this fall asked President Obama to stay away and not to campaign for them. Everything is spinnable. The White House won’t say that President Obama’s popularity is plummeting, they prefer to say he just won the gold in the Men’s Downhill.

The Winter Olympics Games ended in Sochi with a spectacular closing ceremony emceed by Russian president Vladimir Putin. The games provided a two-week showcase for life in Russia. The next morning the Sochi organizers announced that the hotel rooms are ready.

The White House announced a new Obamacare mandate requiring businesses to swear when they fire someone it’s not because of Obamacare. Government force has nothing to do with it. And Osama bin Laden is at the bottom of the ocean because he really likes scuba diving.

Brooklyn Nets’ Jason Collins became the first openly gay player to play in the NBA, making sports history. The media went wild. Being a Democrat means believing that Jason Collins’ sex life is everybody’s business while insisting Bill Clinton’s sex life is nobody’s business.

President Obama proposed drastic cuts in the U.S. military budget Monday the same day the Russians called home their ambassador to Kiev and threatened to send troops into the Ukraine. His timing was perfectly awful. Even Jimmy Carter is comparing him to Jimmy Carter.

Arizona’s governor Jan Brewer vetoed the bill that would have allowed businesses to refuse service to gays after the NFL threatened to take the Super Bowl away. What a stand. The NFL strongly believes that racist and homophobic attitudes have no place in America outside the locker room.

A Northern California couple were walking on their property and found ten million dollars in old gold coins inside a can in the ground. It’s the largest cache of gold coins ever found. It’s just enough to keep them in California one more year to see if things can turn around.

Obama addressed HHS volunteers in Washington and told them they were doing God’s work by signing up young people for Obamacare. It’s just like clockwork. During the second term in office, every president starts referring to himself in the third person.

The Congressional Budget Office reported that Obamacare will cost small businesses far more than originally projected. The lowest prices don’t give you much time for your medical examinations. If you ask for a second opinion, the doctor goes out the door and comes in again.

Home Depot announced it’s been forced to cut health insurance benefits for its part-time workers at the stores due to the expense of Obamacare. The CEO of Home Depot said he had a hard time breaking the news to employees. That’s because it took him three hours to find one.

The Energy Department detected radioactivity leaking into the air from the nation’s first underground nuclear waste storage dump in New Mexico. They say there’s no public danger. Yet already the U.S. is the favorite to win the gold in the three-legged race at the Olympics in Rio.

Powerball Lottery officials say the winning ticket in the four hundred twenty-five million dollar lottery was bought in Oakland. The jackpot winner plans to do what every Californian would do with the millions. He’s going back to Mexico and immigrating here legally.

© Copyright 2014 Argus Hamilton