The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store
President Obama’s interview on Between Two Ferns last fall was nominated for a Emmy Thursday. Good call. He convinced the host that Obamacare would be easy to access, lowers costs and lets you to keep your doctor, and all the Academy could say was brother, that’s acting.
Chelsea Clinton was reported to be getting a six hundred thousand dollar salary for her job as a part time correspondent. NBC executives said that it’s nothing to get excited about. They say Chelsea’s salary is all part of NBC’s program to help children born into poverty.
A San Diego political forum proposed that Californians be allowed to vote by cellphone. It has broad support. Republicans like the idea because it allows them to vote without leaving the golf club and Democrats like the idea because it allows them to vote without leaving Mexico.
The Border Patrol estimate ninety thousand Guatemalan kids crossed the US border this year. By U.S. law, they can’t be refused entry. So it turns out that Obama was right when he said there were fifty-six states in the U.S., because that would include Central America.
Obama blamed House Republicans for the mess at the Texas border, citing the refusal to pass his comprehensive immigration bill. He thinks he can win the same way he printed money for Wall Street. Obama is the first president of this country to try to increase his approval rating among Americans by increasing the number of Americans in the poll sample.
NBC News announced its news reporters will no longer use the phrase illegal immigrants while reporting on the flood of new arrivals in Texas. The network considers the term to be politically incorrect. Instead, NBC will call them Obama’s houseguests from south of the border.
Forbes magazine estimated that Vladimir Putin has amassed a seventy-two billion dollar fortune since he was elected president of Russia twelve years ago. And Putin was raised a communist. Imagine how much richer he’d be if he didn’t believe in the equal distribution of wealth.
The Hollywood Reporter reports that movie theaters on Hollywood Boulevard increased their armed security after a string of robberies. One theater was robbed of five hundred dollars. The thief made off with a large box of popcorn, a large Diet Coke and a box of Milk Duds.
The World Cup final between Germany and Argentina drew hundreds of millions of viewers worldwide to the telecast from Rio de Janeiro. Everyone had a stake in the outcome. Germany was expected to beat Argentina, and then it’s on to Czechoslovakia, Poland and Russia.
Brazil got rave reviews in the media for hosting a great World Cup all month. It seems a shame the soccer tournament had to end. With the World Cup over, Los Angelenos now turn their attention back to other things they don’t quite understand, like four-way stops.
German Chancellor Angela Merkel congratulated the German players in her stadium box one-by-one after they won the World Cup. It was a happy scene. Obama didn’t have to call to congratulate Angela Merkel on her cell phone; he was already on the line.
The CIA station chief in Berlin was expelled from the country by the German government over allegations of CIA spying and NSA snooping there. It’s been that kind of month. The CIA station chief was kicked out of Germany and he landed squarely in Brazil’s goal.
NFL rookies must report to their NFL team training camps Sunday four days ahead of the veteran players. The rookies have to undergo lectures about off-field behavior. It’s ironic how in America the colors of red, white and blue represent freedom until they’re flashing behind you.
© Copyright 2014 Argus Hamilton