The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store

By Argus Hamilton ·
https://patriotpost.us/opinion/28827-from-the-comedy-store-2014-09-06

Barack Obama attended fundraisers in Manhattan and Rhode Island over the weekend and spent Monday in Westchester at a Labor Day picnic. It used to be a day of working class parades. Today Labor Day is a day when Americans take three days off from being unemployed.

Obama flew to Wisconsin Monday to give a Labor Day speech and try to fire up the Democrats for this fall’s election. It’s so difficult to break out of your daily routine and travel. Obama was going to play a round of golf, but then he remembered it’s a holiday.

Obama stunned reporters Thursday telling them doesn’t yet have a strategy to deal with ISIS terrorists. It’s not from lack of trying. Obama just spent two weeks consulting with his top advisor, but what does Hank Haney know about eradicating terrorism?

Obama said he has no strategy to deal with ISIS, which alarmed security experts. His mood was jaunty. When reporters asked Mr. Obama to discuss the subject of the beheadings, he said he will be heading for the golf course right after the press conference.

Republicans and Democrats demanded Obama respond to ISIS Tuesday during TV interviews. The U.S. policy to date is under fire. Obama won’t attack ISIS in Syria until Michelle Obama is convinced their vending machines are selling Snickers bars to children.

The president left for Europe without commenting on Tuesday’s ISIS atrocity. The fact that the Joint Chiefs didn’t resign means that retaliatory action is being planned. Otherwise people would start wondering if ISIS has to dress like cops to get a rise out of this administation.

The State Department blamed the existence of ISIS on the dictator of Syria and called for his overthrow Tuesday. Now it’s Syria’s turn. Part of the factory warranty we pledge to Middle East countries when the CIA installs their leaders is that every forty years we rotate the tyrants.

Tripoli Airport in Libya fell to terrorists who seized a dozen airliners. We didn’t immediately bomb and destroy the airliners before they could be moved. Sometimes it seems the only lesson we learned from the World Trade Center attack was to show up late for work.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel said that America is no longer capable of being the world’s policeman. There’s evidence to the contrary. The same day Angela Merkel claimed the U.S. is no longer the world’s policeman, a survey showed Americans eat the most doughnuts.

The FBI is probing the hacking of Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton and Scarlett Johannsen’s private nude photos. They’d stored the photos on their iPhones. Once they catch the hacker, it should be hilarious watching the U.S. government prosecute somebody for invasion of privacy.

JP Morgan Chase bank was attacked by hackers from Russia in retaliation for U.S. sanctions this week. You could easily tell that it was the work of Russian hackers. The security guards found an axe blade stuck in the bank manager’s computer screen when they got to work.

Lance Armstrong faces ninety-six million dollars in claims by the Justice Department for doping while taking U.S. sponsorship money. It’s worse. The worst part of the entire Lance Armstrong fiasco is for the rest of time having to the French telling us that we told you so.

Tiger Woods fired his swing coach in an effort to get back on the winning track next year. He hasn’t won a major in six years. Tiger’s so desperate that he’s thinking about running for president so he can keep his own score card without incurring any penalty strokes.

© Copyright 2014 Argus Hamilton