The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store

By Argus Hamilton ·
https://patriotpost.us/opinion/29443-from-the-comedy-store-2014-09-27

Barrack Obama welcomed the offer by France to help the U.S. battle ISIS in Syria and Iraq. They’re always a big help. This summer, Disneyworld in Paris set off a huge fireworks show on the Fourth of July, and after ten minutes, France surrendered.

Scotland held a historic voter referendum to decide whether to be independent or remain part of the United Kingdom. The U.S. government supported union. It was awkward when Joe Biden said he was fine with Scotland leaving the UK as long as it remained in England.

Congress passed a supplemental spending bill to keep the U.S. government from going broke. They avoided another shutdown. It wouldn’t be very smart for House members and senators to let the U.S. govenment shut down. It’s not like they’re employable anywhere else.

Iraq War vet Omar Gonzalez leaped the White House fence, ran across the lawn and into the mansion and no one stopped him. He’s now being held without bail. Obama feels vindicated because he’s tried to tell Americans for six years that a fence won’t work.

The White House breach had Democrats and Republicans upset. The Democrats called for hearings on mansion security. The Republicans are very upset at the Secret Service over the intruder in the White House, but what can they do, he still has two years left in his term.

Obama told the U.N. General Assembly the U.S. is assembling a coalition to defeat ISIS. It’s a war on many fronts. Obama insisted that there can be no U.S. combat boots on the ground in Syria, they’re all needed to guard the White House perimeter.

The Washington Nationals clinched the National League East title, sending the capital into a frenzy. With the league’s lowest earned run average, the Nationals have baseball’s best pitching staff. They’re the only group in Washington that’s accomplished anything on a hill.

Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel reversed course and said a new prep school won’t be named after Barack Obama. Both cultures balked. Blacks complained the school is in the white north side and white parents say they don’t want their kids saying they go to Obama High.

Obama held up Islam as a religion of peace in his U.N. speech. He then equated the ISIS atrocities and Russia’s invasion of Ukraine to racial tensions in Missouri. A while back, he changed his name from Barry to Barack because Barry sounded too American.

Joe Biden in one speech last week offended Asians by referring to Asia as the Orient and he offended Jews by describing money-grubbers as Shylocks. He had no idea either word is offensive. A key aspect of Joe Biden’s entertainment value is he could trip over a cordless phone.

Joe Biden apologized for offending Asians in a speech in which he referred to Asia as the Orient. He also referred to money-grubbers as Shylocks but Jewish people laughed it off. Joe Biden’s great skill is saying whatever is on his mind, and then making it look like mental illness.

The San Francisco Chronicle chided liberals for not staging peace rallies in the Bay Area because the war was begun by a Democrat not a Republican. There is no reason for incumbents of either party to fear a voter backlash. If voting could change anything, they’d make it illegal.

Django Unchained star Danielle Watts was arrested in L.A. for having sex in the front seat of her boyfriend’s car on a street in broad daylight. She calls it a civil rights issue. ObamaCare just ordered women’s health policies to cover the cost of birth control pills and tinted windows.

© Copyright 2014 Argus Hamilton