The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store
White House officials say they discovered hacking activity into the computers in the Oval Office. Nothing was taken. The hackers were identity thieves who peeked at the president’s Oval Office laptop and saw his approval ratings and decided they were better off as themselves.
A Dunkin Donuts in Boston aired video of a robber in a Barack Obama mask robbing the cashier and ransacking the counter. It’s alright. Afterwards a woman in a Hillary Clinton mask walked in and promised to clean up the mess made by the guy in the Barack Obama mask.
The White House was reported considering flying in Ebola patients from Africa to the United States for hospital treatment. It doesn’t seem fair. Five years ago the Obama Administration would not allow swine flu into the country for fear that it would offend Muslims.
The World Health Organization had great news regarding the Ebola crisis when it declared Nigeria officially free of the Ebola virus. They called it a spectacular success story. They added if you e-mail your bank details to Nigeria now, you can be part of this success story.
Obama had to switch planes in Philadelphia Monday because of a mechanical problem on the small aircraft which he was flying instead of Air Force One. It was grounded also. You know your popularity is low when even your plane doesn’t want to be seen with you.
Senator Mitch McConnell got a cheer in his victory speech Tuesday when he promised no more campaign ads. With elections over, we can turn our thoughts to happier things. The flu season is approaching and every American who catches the flu is going to think they have Ebola.
Speaker John Boehner handily won re-election In Ohio Tuesday. As one of twelve children of an Ohio bartender, he worked his way through school and became the first member of his family to graduate from college. Then he fell in with the wrong crowd and ended up in Congress.
Obama was defiant at Wednesday’s press conference over his role in Tuesday’s electoral losses. He denied responsibility for Democrats losing the Senate and said he will let other people read the tea leaves. This went on for an hour until someone fixed his Teleprompter.
The New York City Marathon was run Sunday with over six hundred thousand spectators cheering runners from all over the world. The key to winning is motivation. Last Sunday’s New York marathon was won in record time by a Kenyan national hero running away from Obama.
Nick Wallenda of the famous daredevil family walked a tight rope between two Chicago skyscrapers, aired on the Discovery Channel. He walked five hundred feet on the tightrope fifty stories above the ground. It’s the safest way to walk five hundred feet in Chicago.
Secretary of State John Kerry reportedly plans to discuss high-tech pirates in China when he meets with Chinese leaders next week. It’s a dilemma. If China arrests them for selling fake Apple products they will be sent to prison where they will be forced to make real Apple products.
The Group of Twenty leaders will meet in Australia next week to discuss ways for the big industrial nations to increase world trade. There’s some concern that China’s economy is slowing down. Experts say this is what happens when your work force starts to enter its teens.
The San Francisco Giants defeated Kansas City in Game Seven to win the World Series last week. That night men and women danced in the streets, kissed strangers and ran naked through the Mission District. Then they heard they’d won the World Series and really went nuts.
© Copyright 2014 Argus Hamilton