The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store
Barack Obama flied to Asia this week where he attended summits in Australia, Burma and China to discuss world trade and regional stability. There’s another reason why the president decided to go halfway around the world. If he goes any farther he starts coming back.
Obama attended the state dinner for the APEC leaders in Beijing’s government palace, where he was introduced for the first time to the members of China’s ruling Politburo. It’s only right. Barack Obama has been the president for six years, it’s about time he met with the owners.
Vladimir Putin wrapped a shawl around the shoulders of the Chinese president’s wife at a chilly outdoor banquet for APEC leaders. The Chinese media hailed Putin’s chivalry. Just last spring he spread his coat over a river so the Russian Army could invade Ukraine without their feet getting wet.
New York’s Ebola infected Dr. Craig Spencer was released with a clean bill of health. His decision to go bowling after he arrived from Africa may have saved his life. He stuck his fingers in a New York public bowling ball and if the germs in those finger holes didn’t kill the Ebola, nothing will.
Union Army hero Alonzo Cushing was awarded the Medal of Honor in a White House ceremony for his actions at Gettysburg. The family’s perseverence is inspiring. Cushing was wounded in battle one hundred and fifty-one years ago and he just got his first appointment at the V.A. Hospital.
Michelle Obama was reported to be considering a political career of her own and running for the United States Senate in California in four years. It’s not likely once they look at the numbers. Just think of all the starving students who’ll be old enough to vote by then.
Obama shrugged off his party’s loss of the Senate and said he still plans to enact changes by executive order. He blamed the Democrats’ election losses on low voter turnout. Statisitcs reveal that last Tuesday, most of the usually reliable Democratic base stayed in their graves.
USA Today reports that only one-third of the American voters bothered to vote in last week’s midterm elections. It was the last chance for you to express how you feel about President Obama’s policies. Most people feel it’s easier to jump the fence, walk into the White House and tell him yourself.
Obama went on Face the Nation Sunday and blamed the election blowout on poor salesmanship of his policies by the White House staff. The latest polls show exactly how bad it was. More people think Obamacare has been repealed than have been able to sign up for Obamacare.
The White House reduced its Obamacare enrollment forecast to nine million this year due citing logjams at the website. It says if you’re having trouble with the website you can enroll by mail. Only the federal government could create a website that’s slower than sending something through the mail.
The Washington Post complained that the crashing oil prices have resulted in a spike in sales of Hummers, Lincoln Navigators and Escalades this fall. The paper bemoaned the ecological incorrectness of the vehicles. The new Hummer doesn’t run on gasoline, it runs on ground-up Priuses.
Kim Kardashian tried to explode Instagram by releasing a bare-bottomed photo of herself used for a magazine cover. It set off a chain reaction. Within a few hours, Chelsea Handler released a photo of her bare bottom on Instagram, and Joe Biden unveiled his vice presidential portrait.
Johns Hopkins University scientists announced they’ve discovered an algae virus which attacks your brain cells and makes you more stupid. It’s been tested by Obamacare architects. Just a few drops on each federal check and you’ll believe that if you like your doctor you can keep your doctor.
© Copyright 2014 Argus Hamilton