From The Comedy Store - The Patriot Post

Obama decided to name Pentagon career official Ashton Carter as Defense Secretary. He is a theoretical physicist. The president wants to know how he can theoretically put a hundred thousand troops back in Iraq without letting their boots touch the ground.

The International Monetary Fund reported that China has just replaced the U.S. as the largest economy and trader in the world. It’s no secret why. Apple reports the manufacturing cost of an iPhone in China is two hundred-forty-nine dollars, and if you add labor, it’s two hundred fifty dollars.

House Republicans threatened to shut down the U.S. government over Obama’s executive order. That’d be catastrophic. Roads won’t be repaired, home loans won’t get approved, and bureaucrats won’t be reachable by phone, and that’s if we can get the govenment up and running again.

NBC News reports Los Angeles County this year had over three hundred cases of West Nile Virus spread to humans from mosquitoes after they’ve bitten infected birds. It’s especially dangerous out here. Any disease that causes listlessness and brain damage can go undetected for years in Los Angeles.

Vladimir Putin gave a defiant state of the nation speech to Russia last week in which he warned the U.S. of the importance of Ukraine to Russia. This is a region where one reckless remark could trigger a world war. That’s why defense stocks go up every time Joe Biden’s plane lands safely in Kiev.

Obama commented on BET about the angry black protests Sunday by saying America is rooted in racism. The media just loves to fuel the fire. George Zimmerman’s wife divorced him last year saying that he has become two different people, a Hispanic at home and a white guy on the news.

The White House announced holiday festivities at the Executive Mansion will include a solemn Hanukkah ceremony next week. It’s a beautiful annual ritual. Obama says a prayer in Hebrew and lights the candles on the Menorah, and then Joe Biden makes a wish and blows them out.

Obama asked Congress for and obtained a ninety-day extension for the NSA to monitor phone calls in the U.S. for terrorist activity. The NSA Director assured Congress that the NSA does not use the information on political opponents. That’s the IRS’s job and they’re a different union.

Prince William flew from New York to Washington D.C. Monday for a visit with Obama at the White House about his wildlife foundation. The two chatted in the Oval Office for two hours. It was a meeting between a symbolic ruler with no real power anymore and the future King of England.

Senator Dianne Feinstein took the floor Tuesday to release a Democratic report ripping the CIA and the Bush Administration for torturing terrorists. She had the president’s full backing. Congress was never shown the report because it’s against U.S. government policy to negotiate with Republicans.

The Nobel Peace Prize was presented Oslo, Norway, to seventeen-year-old Pakistani girl Malala Yousefzai Wednesday. She won world fame standing up for girls’ education rights in the Muslim world. She won the award after Roger Goodell and Vladimir Putin split the out-of-control dictator vote.

Obama performed a hilarious mock editorial on Colbert Report on Comedy Central Monday. He got huge laughs kidding himself about his low approval ratings, lampooning the GOP’s alternative health care plan for poor people and by joking about Obamacare. Obama could leave office with a ninety percent approval rating if he can forget about governing and do what he does best.

The EU parliament agreed to take up a controversial bill on illegal immigration in Europe next session in Brussels. It’s haphazard there. Last weekend, a German arrived at the French border and was asked his name, age and occupation and he said Fritz, thirty, and no, he’s just visiting.

The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store