The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store
Time magazine awarded its Person of the Year honor to Ebola Fighters, the doctors and nurses who are battling the virus in West Africa. They go from village to village treating victims. Rather than fly the Ebola Fighters to New York to accept the award, the editors voted unanimously to present it via Skype.
CNN’s Anderson Cooper compared the CIA’s enhanced interrogation of al-Qaeda terror suspects to tactics used by the Nazis. He forgets how people and standards change over the years. Rectal hydration may have been a form of torture a dozen years ago but today it’s covered under Obamacare.
CIA psychologist Jim Mitchell went on Fox News and revealed how he interrogated Khalid Sheik Mohammed to discover Osama bin Laden’s hideout. There’s evidence that detainees at Guantanamo prison are still being tortured. They are constantly being forced to eat Michelle Obama’s school lunches.
San Francisco was a mess after a storm dumped four inches of rain on the Bay Area, triggering flooding, mudslides and blackouts. Local newscasters say there are two hundred thousand people who are currently without any power in San Francisco. They’re known as Republicans.
Senator Harry Reid said that Democrats never recovered from the Obamacare rollout. Senate Democrats Tom Harkin and Chuck Schumer also blasted Obamacare. The most successful operation made possible by Obamacare so far is the one where you have your committee chairmanship removed.
The Department of Health and Human Services reported Medicare last year overpaid sixty-four million dollars for erection pumps that the government provides for senior male Medicare recipients. The White House pointed out that this was not a feature of Obamacare. It’s Clintoncare if it’s anything.
Senator Elizabeth Warren emerged as a leftist hero when she ripped the White House for rolling back Wall Street reform in the budget bill. She’s one to watch. Her claim of Native American blood is highly disputed, but she might run for president under her Indian name, Dances with Marxism.
Joe Biden helped light the National Menorah on the ellipse in front of the White House to mark the the first day of Hanukkah. His future isn’t clear. Joe Biden confided to reporters he will decide whether he’s going to run for president in 2016 by next spring or summer, whichever comes first.
Congress passed a budget and decided not to shut down the government. They have car payments to make, and these guys can’t exist in the nation’s capital without a car. Congressmen must drive their own cars because cab drivers refuse to pick up people who are statistically likely to rob them.
The White House announced more troops will remain behind in Afghanistan to combat Taliban raids on civilians. The U.N. just reported eight thousand civilians in Afghanistan have been killed or wounded in the last ten years. This means that Afghanistan is nearly as dangerous as Chicago.
Obama’s executive order granting blanket amnesty to illegal aliens was struck down in a Pennsylvania federal court as unconstitutional. The president didn’t skip a beat correcting the misunderstanding. He quickly declared another executive order making it constitutional.
Obama lit the National Christmas Tree, a reverential but joyous occasion last weekend near the White House. Every American president has his own approach to religion. Bill Clinton came to Jesus, George W. Bush talked to Jesus, and Barack Obama fills in for Jesus on holidays and weekends.
Washington D.C. emergency crews had to be called to restore power after a huge power blackout hit government buildings including the State Department during working hours. The offices were dark for two hours. Government workers sat idly doing nothing, and then the electricity went out.
© Copyright 2014 Argus Hamilton