The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store

By Argus Hamilton ·
https://patriotpost.us/opinion/32397-from-the-comedy-store-2015-01-17

The White House admitted Obama should’ve attended the anti-terrorism rally in Paris. The press secretary said the president wasn’t told of the rally. From now on whenever world events are breaking to which Obama must respond, the ESPN anchor will tug on his right ear.

Obama called a conference in two weeks to find ways to combat what he called violent extremism. He refuses to call it radical Muslim terrorism. If Obama had been Paul Revere, he would have shouted for everybody along the Midnight Ride to get dressed, get dressed, the cousins are coming.

The GOP presidential candidates began angling to line up donor support Monday. Anyone can run. Yesterday, Jeb Bush hosted a luncheon for twenty-four donors in Manhattan and raised three million dollars, and the next morning, Mitt Romney had breakfast by himself and raised twenty million.

USA Today published a study on the political effect of cable news networks on viewers. It makes sense. The survey says watching Fox News makes you more conservative, watching MSNBC makes you more liberal and if you watch CNN you never think any airplane is going to land safely or be found.

NBC sold out its Super Bowl ads at four million dollars a minute of advertising time. It’s a delicate balancing act. Every Super Bowl Sunday they run public service ads calling for an end to domestic violence, for safe sex and for responsible parenting, in-between forty-six beer commercials.

Mexico’s President Enrique Pena Niete and his aides arrived in Washington D.C. to meet with Obama at the White House. It was just more of the same. Mexico’s president wasn’t in the United States three hours before Homeland Security admitted they’ve completely lost track of him.

The Justice Department may prosecute David Petraeus for telling his mistress secrets while CIA Director two years ago. He got caught with three women and resigned. The sex scandal cost General Petraeus the GOP nomination for president, but it virtually guarantees him the Democratic nomination.

Joe Biden flew to Brazil last week to try to mend relations with Brazil’s government that’s angry over NSA spying on Brazil. He has a natural curiosity for the country. After Joe landed, he told reporters he was thrilled to be in the Amazon, because he always wanted to see where books come from.

Minority Leader Senator Harry Reid suffered a busted jaw, a black eye and two broken ribs while working out at home. He looks like a mess. The top Democrat is recovering at home rather than at the hospital because, sadly for Harry, he did not break enough bones to meet his Obamacare deductible.

The Hollywood Reporter announced Woody Allen signed to create his very first television series. It’s a great example of how lightning can strike in show business. For Woody Allen, it was a totally unexpected opportunity, but when the networks canceled Bill Cosby, a time slot opened up.

Secret Service Director Joe Clancy ordered improvements in White House security to protect Obama from fence jumpers. The dogs work a lot harder at protecting the president than the agents do. That’s because the dogs know that the president never ate Secret Service agents when he was a boy.

The White House refused to disclose Obama’s strategy for emptying Guantanamo Bay prison despite so many released terrorists returning to the battlefield. Obama hasn’t had much success in the area of prisoner rehabilitation. Even the turkey he pardoned last November is back in jail.

GOP senators pushed a bill to keep Obama from releasing more Guantanamo inmates back home to Yemen. It’s part of his broader Middle East strategy. He ended the war in Iraq and he ended the war in Afghanistan by invoking the Obama Doctrine, which states that you can’t win them all.

© Copyright 2015 Argus Hamilton