From The Comedy Store - The Patriot Post

American Sniper starring Bradley Cooper as U.S. Army sniper Chris Kyle was ripped by Michael Moore again who questioned the bravery in killing terrorists with sniper fire. The filmmaker is nothing if not consistent. Michael Moore saw the Hobbit and declared afterwards that all archers are cowards.

American Sniper gained Oscar buzz as the movie passed two hundred million at the box office in America. The public appreciates the movie’s contrast in its unambiguous attitude toward terrorists. Obama wages war like he’s afraid the enemy is going to call Child Services on him.

Fox News reported that one of the five Taliban fighters the U.S. exchanged for deserter Sgt. Bo Bergdahl is re-joining the Taliban in Afghanistan. We traded them five of their guys for one of our guys. The U.S. government can’t even swap prisoners without running up an eighty percent deficit.

Arizona health officials say a thousand kids in the state have caught the measles in an outbreak that originated in California’s Disneyland. It’s spreading. The government says the measles outbreak has since spread to unvaccinated children in eight Western states and Mexico, if you must differentiate.

Oregon strippers banded together and hired a lobbyist firm to lobby the legislature. The firm is tasked with convincing lawmakers to get the strippers better working conditions. When asked how they could lower themselves to work with such sleazy people, the strippers said it just goes with the territory.

Obama proposed a four trillion dollar budget that includes three hundred twenty billion in new taxes on the wealthy, on trust funds and on corporations. The administration appeared determined to hit the ground running. It was Groundhog Day and Joe Biden lit the Menorah.

Obama met with Dream Act scholarship recipients. The Dream Act gives college money to illegal alien kids paid for by a ten percent tax on tanning booth sessions. Leave it to Democrats to subsidize brown people who want to be Americans by taxing Americans who want to be brown people.

Jordan’s King Abdullah flew to Washington for a meeting with Obama about the ISIS reign of terror in the Mideast. The time for action is now. The Muslim desert king has been criticized by his opponents for his reluctance to take on ISIS more forcefully, and so has King Abdullah.

NBC News anchor Brian Williams admitted he was not in an Army helicopter in Iraq that was shot down twelve years ago, as he’s been telling viewers ever since. It’s an honest mistake. How many times, when your car backfires, do you think you just got shot down in a helicopter in Iraq.

USA Today published a study that criticized Obama for issuing the fewest pardons of any two-term president since Washington. The recidivist rate naturally concerns the president. Even the Thanksgiving turkey that Obama pardoned is back on the streets committing crimes.

U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy said that using marijuana can be beneficial to your health and called for tolerance. Under a proposed L.A. City Council measure, police would no longer arrest people who smoke pot in public in Los Angeles. Experts called it a bold move that will change nothing.

The Super Bowl drew a record one hundred fifteen million viewers and gave fans one of the most exciting and unbelievable finishes in history. After all the dust has settled, one fact remains clear. Coach Pete Carroll has now won two Super Bowls, one for the Seahawks and one for the Patriots.

Mitt Romney announced he won’t be a candidate for president, sparing himself the media crucifixion for being rich. He pays low taxes because he claims forty-seven percent of Americans as dependents. Last month he gave a speech in favor of health care and then he gave a ten minute rebuttal.

The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store