From The Comedy Store - The Patriot Post

Vladimir Putin labeled the slaying of his political opponent Boris Nemtsov a disgrace to Russia in a televised address to the Interior ministry. Russia’s president vowed that he will not rest until the killer is caught. O.J. Simpson could sue Putin for stealing his joke and using it on television.

Harrison Ford was reported in good shape in an L.A. hospital after he successfully crash-landed is private plane at the Penmar Golf Club in L.A. It made worldwide news. Fifteen minutes after the plane crash, Obama called the pro shop to make sure the golf course would pull through.

Obama flew to Alabama to mark the fiftieth anniversary of the civil rights march from Selma to Montgomery. Today, Americans can boast of much racial progress thanks to the work of this administration. If nothing else, Joe Biden has ended the myth of white supremacy once and for all.

General David Petraeus pleaded guilty to trusting classified material to biographer and mistress Paula Broadwell. It all blew up when Paula confronted a second mistress in front of Petraeus’ wife. The sex scandal cost him the GOP nomination but it may have cinched him the Democratic nomination.

Hillary Clinton is under fire for creating private e-mail accounts she used as secretary of state so that she could erase any conversations that might incriminate her or embarrass her. Life is a circle. You start out your career by investigating Richard Nixon and you end it by channeling Richard Nixon.

Clinton took questions about her e-mail scandal at a U.N. press conference. Her party leaders rallied to her side afterwards. Being a Democrat means insisting that Hillary Clinton’s private e-mails are her own business while conceding that Bill Clinton’s sex life is everybody’s business.

Clinton conceded she made a mistake by not using one BlackBerry for personal e-mails and a second one for official use. She assured the American people that her private e-mail was not used to share anything that would threaten the security of the nation. That’s what Twitter is for.

The Ringling Brothers Circus caved in to animal rights activists and announced they will eliminate elephants from all shows in three years. This will end entire careers. The clowns who follow the elephants with shovels will have to return to their former job as press secretaries in Washington D.C.

The University of Oklahoma kicked the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity off campus over a video of the boys singing a racist house song on a bus trip. How much tuition does it cost to teach these boys one of the most important lessons in the real world. The rules are different for white rappers.

U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon issued a proclamation marking Sunday as International Women’s Day. The Obama administration joined in. In honor of International Women’s Day, Joe Biden went to New York and inappropriately touched every woman entering the United Nations building.

The United Nations Conference on Women convened in New York in the wake of International Women’s Day Sunday. It happened to be the day the world went on Daylight Savings time. Leave it to the United Nations to celebrate women’s equality on the one day that’s only twenty-three hours long.

Defense Intelligence Agency former chief Mike Flynn revealed that records captured at Osama bin Laden’s compound showed al-Qaeda was on the rise and allying with Iran. Did we ever foil them. Using this intelligence, two years later, nobody’s talking about al-Qaeda and the U.S. is allied with Iran.

Iraqi commanders rebuked U.S. General Martin Dempsey when he visited Baghdad and refused to give up Iranian help in taking Tikrit. We’ve been elbowed out by the Shiites. Right now the Iranians are fighting ISIS over control of Iraq in a war with more I’s than an Obama speech about someone else.

The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store