The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store

UCLA law professors said the SAE’s at OU have the same free speech right to sing the N-word in their fraternity songs as rap artists have to sing the N-word in their rap songs. It’s so exhausting. Today Rodney King would look into the TV camera and ask Americans why can’t we all just sing along.

Jeb Bush campaigned in New Hampshire over the weekend where he engaged reporters a dozen times a day and laid out his policies clearly to voters and the media. He doesn’t shy away from his family’s past presidencies. As a matter of fact, his new campaign motto is, The Third Time’s the Charm.

GOP Congressman Aaron Schock resigned in a scandal that broke after he decorated his Capitol Hill office like Downton Abbey. It’s all the rage. Every Monday morning after Downton Abbey airs, the GOP lawmakers go to work on Capitol Hill with their vision of America clearly in focus.

San Francisco 49er Chris Borland retired from the NFL at age twenty-four, citing fear of future permanent brain damage. Last week at a sports banquet, he met Vice President Joe Biden, who recounted to him his own youthful gridiron exploits. Shortly after that, Borland made his decision.

ISIS vowed to infiltrate Western capitals and blow up Big Ben, the Eiffel Tower and the White House. The White House would be easy. All they have to do is dress up like hookers and arrive in a liquor truck, and the Secret Service will look both ways and then wave them right through the gate.

The House Committee investigating the terror attack on Benghazi prepared to subpoena Hillary Clinton. The lawmakers want to see her e-mails revealing her actions the night of the attack. We’re maybe a month away from Hillary swearing she did not have textual relations with the rescue operation.

Prince Charles arrived in Washington D.C. to celebrate the eight hundredth anniversary of the Magna Carta. He’ll give a speech about how the compact established, once and for all, that whoever administers the law is also ruled by the law. And then Hillary Clinton will deliver the rebuttal.

Hillary Clinton was inducted into the Irish-American Hall of Fame at a luncheon in New York City. Like most Methodists, her ancestry is Anglo-Norman from England, Scotland and Wales. Out of instinct, Hillary went from table to table at the luncheon, demanding that the Irish pay rent or quit.

Hillary Clinton’s assistant Huma Abedin stored Hillary’s e-mails in Bill Clinton’s private server at home. She’s Anthony Weiner’s wife. All you have to do is type Bill Clinton, Anthony Weiner and Private Server into your search engine, and you’ll see why Hillary wanted to keep this mess covered up.

The State Department said Hillary Clinton did not sign a required form stating she had complied with the Records Act as Secretary of State. Her support among Democrats is eroding fast. This e-mail scandal could threaten the Clinton dream of being America’s first two-impeachment family.

Apple began taking orders for their new Apple wrist phone which performs all the functions that the iPhone performs and with incredible convenience. The customers are dazzled. The Millenial generation no longer has to use an iPhone to find out what time it is; they can simply look at their wrist.

NSA leaker Ed Snowden indicated he was willing to leave Russia and return to the United States to face trial if the U.S. government can guarantee him a fair trial. What Snowden did was simply wrong. We’ve indicted Ed Snowden on charges of spying and stealing the data we stole through spying.

Alex Rodriguez smashed his first home run in spring training, serving notice on the N.Y. Yankees front office that he’s going to be expensive this year. That’s because his contract is laden with performance bonuses. If Alex strikes out a hundred times, he gets a government windmill subsidy.

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