From The Comedy Store - The Patriot Post

Obama played host to high school science students from across America at the annual White House National Science Fair. The president surveyed some projects that are silly and would never work. And after he left his foreign policy meeting, it was on to the kids’ work.

GOP Senator Ted Cruz announced he’s running for president. He was born in Canada to a Cuban father and to an Anglo-Saxon mother. Democrats fell over laughing at the idea that Americans would elect a bi-racial senator with a Harvard law degree who was born in another country.

Yemen teetered on the brink of civil war as the U.S. evacuated all personnel and all U.S. Special Forces from Yemen after al-Qaeda seized the nation’s third largest city. Just six months ago, Obama called Yemen a model for the Middle East. Unfortunately that model was Kate Upton.

CBS Sports enjoyed big ratings for the NCAA tournament this weekend as March Madness took hold. Obama filled out his tournament bracket card on ESPN, just as he does every year, but this time it caused concerns. He picked Israel to lose in the first round of the Middle East Regionals.

Obama spoke with Benjamin Netanyahu and the Israeli prime minister said that Israel is willing to negotiate with the Palestinian Authority as long as they don’t represent Hamas. Hamas leaders say they don’t recognize Israel. Of course they don’t recognize it, they keep blowing it up.

Israel spied on the U.S.-Iran nuclear talks and gave the intel to House Republicans. The White House learned of Israel’s spying on the U.S.-Iran talks by spying on Israel. The White House wouldn’t spy on Israel but they’re registered as a conservative non-profit so the NSA and IRS are all over them.

Hillary Clinton insisted that U.S. national security was not breached by storing State Department e-mails on her private server. Hillary claimed that none of the e-mails stored on her private server contained classified information. After giving the files a thorough review, Edward Snowden concurred.

Hillary Clinton appeared at a forum in Washington sponsored by the liberal-leaning Center for American Progress where she spoke about the problem of income inequality. She gets three hundred grand per speech. Democrats believe it’s okay to be rich as long as you just feel awful about it.

Starbucks made news by having their barristas write racially charged messages on their coffee cups in order to stimulate a national discussion on race. The campaign wound up highlighting our differences. Thanks to Starbucks, black people can’t believe how much white people will pay for coffee.

Obama reportedly chose Chicago as the future site of his presidential library. The city can’t help but love him. Obama was awarded the Order of the Cubs last week when he completed an unassisted triple play in becoming the only president ever to lose the House, the Senate and the Knesset.

Afghanistan president Nashraf Ghani was thoughtful to thank U.S. taxpayers for his country’s freedom Tuesday when he met with Obama. He said eight thousand Afghans have been killed by gunfire this past year. He’s here to advise the president on how to make Chicago a safer city.

SAE member Levi Petit apologized for leading a racist chant that got him expelled and SAE kicked off the OU campus. It drew White House attention. National SecurityAdvisor Susan Rice went on the Sunday talk shows and said Levi Petit served Sigma Alpha Epsilon with honor and distinction.

The Secret Service was ripped in House hearings over lax White House security. That’s the bad news. The good news is, Obama has admitted he’s been having trouble going to sleep at night, but now he goes right to sleep by counting intruders as they jump over the White House fence.

The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store