From The Comedy Store - The Patriot Post

Obama flew to South Florida for a golfing weekend where he stayed at the Florida National Golf Glub in Port St. Lucie. His security detail is fluid. There are a hundred golf courses in the area and Obama never knows which one he’s going to play until he hits his first tee shot.

University of Oklahoma president David Boren disciplined twenty more SAE fraternity members for being on a party bus singing a house jingle with three N-words in it. The school president then attended OU’s first home baseball game of the season. He was there to throw out the First Amendment.

The NFL owners met and agreed to end the TV blackouts of all home games that aren’t sold out three days ahead of game time and to air the games locally. It’s good for team cohesion. Lifting the blackouts of NFL games gives all the players under house arrest a feeling that they are there.

The White House defended Obama’s decision to trade five Taliban commanders to the enemy for Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl after the American was charged by the Army with desertion. The trade was so bad there can only be one rational explanation. He thinks he’s the president of the Chicago Cubs.

The White House confirmed that Pope Francis will visit Obama at the White House in September. They’ve scheduled a stay of six hours. Pope Francis will spend fifteen minutes with the president and then five hours and forty-five minutes hearing confessions from the Secret Service agents.

Florida’s former governor Jeb Bush topped Monday’s first poll of all the likely GOP candidates for president. It indicates fifty-one percent of Republicans saying they could see themselves voting for him. Jeb Bush has tremendous name recognition, and if he can overcome that he’s got a chance to win.

U.S. and Iranian negotiators in Geneva ignored Tuesday’s deadline to reach a nuclear deal and both sides agreed to meet again on Wednesday. What a break for all mankind. Just when you thought that the U.S.-Iran nuclear talks weren’t really serious, they extended the negotiations to April Fool’s Day.

Iran insisted on keeping its own enriched uranium in Iran rather than agreeing to store their enriched uranium in Russia as U.S. negotiators are demanding. That pretty much tells you everything. Iran is considered so dangerous we’re actually safer building up Russia’s nuclear stockpile.

Indiana’s Memories Pizza Parlor owner Scott O'Connell announced he’ll seek protection under Indiana’s new Religious Freedom Act and he will refuse to cater gay weddings. It raised a moral question that every American is asking. What gay couple would serve pizza at their wedding reception?

Allergen CEO Dennis Harbert put Richard Nixon’s San Clemente beachfront home on the market for seventy-five million dollars. The GOP donor bought it from Nixon thirty-five years ago, then converted the neighborhood into a gated community after he left. Not even Nixon’s friends could put him behind bars.

Hillary Clinton slipped in the polls after admitting she wiped her server clean of all her e-mails after she did business as Secretary of State on her private e-mail account. It’ll all work for her. Already, Control-Alt-Delete is a subliminal ad for Hillary the same way dry cleaners signs were for Bill.

California governor Jerry Brown ordered cuts in water use by twenty-five percent as the drought yielded weird side-effects. Entolomogists found thirty never-before-seen flies swarming in Los Angeles. It’s miserable for everyone at the studio when the script readers leave the windows open.

The Rolling Stones announced the itinerary of the band’s fifteen city stadium tour of the United States and Canada beginning in San Diego on Memorial Day. The legendary rock group admitted they are undergoing a self-acceptance phase in their lives. The name of the tour is Jurassic Park Four.

The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store