The Patriot Post® · The Russians Are Coming!

By Burt Prelutsky ·
https://patriotpost.us/opinion/48310-the-russians-are-coming-2017-04-08

Perhaps because my name is Prelutsky, I’m getting a little tired of all the Russian-baiting that the Democrats are currently engaged in. Understand, I’m no fan of Vladimir Putin, but the Russians haven’t been killing us for the past four decades. I mean, does it really make any sense that the same folks who seem hell-bent on getting us into a war with Russia are simultaneously attacking Trump for trying to staunch the flow of Muslims into our country?

Furthermore, I think that Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election was, at most, negligible, and it is farcical to hear Democrats, who oppose photo I.D.s for voters, carrying on like banshees over this alleged existential threat to the democratic process.

Besides, if it’s true that the Russkies were conniving to defeat Hillary Clinton, I say more power to them. What’s more, in the future, I’d like to see them taking a much more active role in our elections, and Democrats far less.

· Midst all the squabbling over illegal aliens, the thing that annoys me the most is the fact that sneaking across our border isn’t even a felony. Apparently, it’s regarded in legal terms on a par with jay-walking. It makes it a lot easier for liberals and those bi-partisan business interests who seek a constant flow of low-cost labor to pretend that those who are here illegally, but haven’t raped, robbed or murdered, haven’t committed any criminal acts.

In the meantime, I would advise Donald Trump to declare that there will not be mass deportations in the future, and that ICE will henceforth only target gang members, drug dealers and other nogootniks. That should take the wind out of the sails of Chuck Schumer, Dianne Feinstein and the rest of the left-wing hypocrites, who are always going on about the tragedy of broken families.

Trump was never going to deport 10-15 million illegal aliens, and it was a silly thing to say. The processing alone would take a few hundred years. Once we get rid of the criminals, we can decide the status of the others. I would suggest granting citizenship to those who serve honorably in the military, and those who can prove that they’ve lived here for over 20 years, paid their taxes and have clean records.

Congress should also get busy clarifying the 14th Amendment. It is the height of absurdity to contend that a child born to parents who are in the United States illegally is a citizen. For one thing, we all know that nobody can profit from the commission of a crime. To insist that the baby was innocent of all wrong-doing is totally beside the point. Otherwise, it would mean that the family of a bank robber could keep the loot because none of them drove the getaway car.

I, for one, always thought it was lunacy to contend that Barack Obama lacked legal status to be President just because he may have been born in Kenya. His mother was an American citizen. She was a fruit loop, but she was a citizen. That makes her child a citizen. A fruit loop, sure, but a citizen.

The notion that a child born to an American isn’t an American if he or she is born on foreign turf turns logic on its head. It would mean that where you’re born takes precedence over to whom you’re born, that geography trumps blood.


By an edict of the Department of Education, teachers are being told to encourage Islamic indoctrination in our schools. In one class film, a man who converted from Christianity apparently gazes into the camera and announces that “Islam is the one true faith.”

This is so wrong on so many levels, it’s hard to know where to begin. For one thing, it ignores the separation of church and state. For another, it would never be allowed for public school teachers to promote Christianity or Judaism. For a third, it promotes the very religion that today is wreaking havoc around the world and has been responsible for killing thousands of Americans here and abroad.

Can you even imagine schools showing a film in which a Muslim convert to Catholicism looks into a camera and insists that the Pope is infallible?

The idea that the Department of Education is spending our tax dollars to promote Islam is inexcusable. It also makes me wonder if Betsy DeVos is aware of this, and if she isn’t, just how is she spending her time?


Speaking of your tax dollars being flushed down the giant toilet, over 50% of the births in California, New York, Texas, Florida and Illinois, are being paid for with your money. In New Mexico, the feds fund 72% of all births.

I suppose in a weird way, it sort of evens things out for all the abortions Congress subsidizes through Planned Parenthood.


It does call to mind the Shakespeare line that goes: “Tis the time’s plague when madmen lead the blind.” A plague, indeed, otherwise known as the federal government.


After I confessed to never having heard the Polish pickle slicer joke, although many people claimed it had whiskers on it 60 years ago, a reader wrote to assure me that even though it was old, it was still funny.

I replied that I was relieved because I hate boring people. As soon as I typed that line, I realized that the sentence works two ways. That is, I hate to bore people, but I also hate being bored. In fact, I suspect being bored to death might be more than just an expression. It just makes sense that being bored in school, combined with being bored on the job and perhaps being bored with one’s life in general, would eventually have an effect on a person, perhaps even a fatal effect.

I mean, wouldn’t that help explain why so many people try to find an escape in booze and drugs? The irony is that so many of those who seek a release in alcohol, coke, heroin and methamphetamines, seem to be rich and famous and leading the most fortunate of lives. The only logical explanation is that people like Marilyn Monroe, Michael Jackson, Prince, River Phoenix, John Belushi, Jim Morrison, Heath Ledger, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jimi Hendrix, Amy Whitestone and Edie Sedgwick, all looked inside themselves, found nothing of substance, and died of an overdose of boredom.


And now the latest joke supplied by Dr. Richard Stiso, the pride of Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey:

Rhoda and Irwin, a retired couple living in Boca Raton, are getting ready to go out to dinner.

Rhoda says: “Irwin, darling, do you want me to wear this Chanel suit or the Gucci?”

Irwin says: “Wear what you like.”

A few minutes later, Rhoda says: “Irwin, should I wear my Cartier watch or my Rolex?”

Irwin replies: “Who cares?”

A few minutes pass and Rhoda says: “Irwin, love, shall I wear my five-carat pear diamond ring or my six-carat round diamond ring with the baguettes?”

Irwin says: “Rhoda, I really don’t care what you wear, but if you don’t move your tuchas, we’re going to miss the Early Bird Special.”

Well, it made me laugh.