The Patriot Post® · What's With Democrats & Ketchup?

By Burt Prelutsky ·

For the past 40-odd years, whenever ketchup is in the news, it’s because liberals are attacking the stuff. Long before Watergate, when Nixon was in the White House, I kept hearing his political enemies ridiculing him because he allegedly put ketchup on his cottage cheese.

I admit that sounds a bit off-putting to me, but who can blame someone for trying to jazz up cottage cheese, truly one of the most boring foods ever invented.

The next time ketchup made the news, it was Ronald Reagan trying to make a case for its being a vegetable. The Democrats never stopped making fun of him over that. It actually sounded like a joke when he first mentioned it. As I recall, he was trying to make a case for its being counted as a vegetable and therefore part of a balanced diet in school cafeterias.

Of course, we all know it’s not a vegetable, but a fruit, even though it apparently has some vague relationship to tomatoes. The way I can tell it’s not an actual vegetable is that ketchup tastes good.

Now it’s Donald Trump who’s caught in the crosshairs of left-wing elitists. If there’s anything that those morons hate more than a man with a plan to build a wall and cut our taxes, it’s a guy who confesses that his favorite meal is meatloaf and mashed potatoes and, worse yet, likes his steaks well-done and served with ketchup.

It is confounding the way that Democrats like to pretend they’re the party of the common man, but then they can’t help giving the game away when it comes to cuisine.

Most people like meatloaf and mashed potatoes. It’s considered comfort food and reminds them of the meals their mothers put on the table when they were kids. But Democrats are slaves to the class system. They want the votes of regular Joes, but they certainly don’t want to eat like them or, for that matter, with them.

There are some obvious differences between President Trump’s first visit to faraway places and Obama’s, which was correctly labeled an apology tour. Obama never stopped talking about America’s historical sins, and the only people who lapped it up were America’s enemies abroad and his left-wing devotees at home.

Trump, on the other hand, got a hero’s welcome in both Saudi Arabia and Israel, and made a statement by flying directly from the Arab nation to the Jewish state, the first time ever that a plane leaving Saudi Arabia wasn’t forced to land in a different country before proceeding to Israel.

I don’t believe that peace is possible between Israel and the Palestinian Authority, but if Israel can achieve rapprochement with the Gulf States, thanks in part to Trump and in part to the common enemy of Iran, it would be a giant step in the right direction.

Another major difference between what we had with Obama and what we now have with Trump is that Obama supported the major state sponsor of terrorism by handing over $100 billion to the Ayatollah and his henchmen, whereas Trump is bringing home $100 billion from Saudi Arabia in the form of defense contracts, with the promise that another $250 billion is headed this way over the next decade.

Here at home, Chuck Schumer and his fellow ignoramuses in Congress have quieted down some now that Robert Mueller is conducting his independent investigation.

I don’t envy Mr. Mueller. For one thing, no matter how much time he devotes to it, I suspect he’s involved in a wild goose chase. For one thing, Comey and the FBI had been looking into collusion between Russia and the Trump campaign for 10 months and, aside from Mike Flynn’s not coming clean about the $500,000 he got from Turkey and was summarily axed a few weeks into the administration, they couldn’t find anything that even slightly resembled a crime, let alone an impeachable offense.

In fact, this could be the first criminal investigation in history where the investigators aren’t trying to uncover how a crime was committed and/or who committed it, but what the crime was.

New York’s Mayor Bill De Blasio burnished his credentials in left-wing circles by promising to honor Oscar Lopez Rivera at a Puerto Rican Day celebration. Rivera was the leader of the FALN, a terrorist group that carried out more than a hundred bombings in the 70s and 80s. In 1991, he was sentenced to 55 years. After a botched escape attempt, his sentence was extended to 70 years.

But appropriate sentences mean nothing to the likes of Barack Obama, who granted Rivera clemency at just about the same time he gave Bradley/Chelsea Manning his freedom a few years into his 35-year sentence for espionage.

Most months, that would be enough to make New York the most embarrassing place in America. But, California’s politicians are always up to the challenge when it comes to making jackasses of themselves.

At the 2017 California Democrats State Convention, Lt. Governor Gavin Newsom, one of the horde who will be trying to succeed Jerry Brown next year, told the throng: “The world, literally the world, is counting on California to reject Trump’s deception and destructiveness.”

Hardly the entire world and hardly literally. Apparently, Israel and 50 Muslim nations would beg to differ.

Senator Kamala Harris, for her part, accused Trump of putting Russia first, America second. Funny, I don’t recall ever hearing Trump say it was time to make Russia great again. But I suppose that as a senator, Harris would have sources I lack.

Completing the trifecta of ignoramuses, outgoing party chairman John Burton, a longtime fixer in state politics, took the stage and extended two middle fingers in the air as the crowd of dunces cheered and joined in as he shouted “F—- Donald Trump!”

If that’s how they carry on in public, imagine what the swine are like behind closed doors. You have to wonder if their mothers know how they talk when they’re not at home.

When I hear these obscene rabble-rousers, I’m convinced they are radical liberal terrorists. After all, as we kept hearing for the past eight years, during which Obama refused to utter the words “radical Islamic terrorists,” that you can’t stamp out the disease if you’re afraid to name it.

When writing about the hackers who hit computers in 150 nations and demanded ransom payments before returning control to the owners, the thing I couldn’t figure out is how the ransoms could be collected without the extortionists running the risk of being identified.

One of my intelligent readers, Pat Miano, alerted me to something called bitcoins, which, he explained, are the currency of the internet.

“Apparently,” he explained, “they can be withdrawn and converted into negotiable currency without being traced.”

To which, I responded: “That’s insane. I can’t even imagine what legitimate use there would be for them. Aside from extortionists, drug dealers, tax evaders and kidnappers, who would need to keep their financial dealings so secretive? It seems to me that when the entire world is dependent on computers, and these scumbags don’t think twice about shutting down hospitals, airports and power grids, the thing to do is put bitcoins out of business.”

Finally, another reader, with whom I’ve shared my disbelief in global conspiracies sent me a booklet about the Council on Foreign Relations, which, along with the Trilateral Commission and Bilderbergers, are generally regarded by those who subscribe to global conspiracies as the big three.

Now, understand, I in no way feel compelled to defend people like David Rockefeller, the Bushes, Ben Bernanke, Timothy Geithner, Zbigniew Brzezinski, the Clintons, Henry Kissinger or Barack Obama. I’m just not ready to sign up for Conspiracies Anonymous.

I happen to believe that a lot of people in politics are wrong, dangerously pigheaded, but not because they belong to certain groups with secret handshakes and a membership list written in invisible ink. Instead, I believe they belong to certain groups because they are dangerously pigheaded and like to hang around with people who remind them of themselves.