September 11, 2017

Pols and the Fools Who Elect Them

How is it that when Democrats get elected, whether it’s in New York, Florida, Illinois or California, the voters always know what they’re getting? But when it’s a Republican, it’s as likely to be a Susan Collins or a Lisa Murkowski as it is a Mike Lee or a Trey Gowdy, people so different from one another, they might as well be members of different species.

How is it that when Democrats get elected, whether it’s in New York, Florida, Illinois or California, the voters always know what they’re getting? But when it’s a Republican, it’s as likely to be a Susan Collins or a Lisa Murkowski as it is a Mike Lee or a Trey Gowdy, people so different from one another they might as well be members of different species.

I mean, what good is it to call Arizona a red state when they keep electing the likes of John McCain and Jeff Flake?

Even casting the vote that killed the repeal of ObamaCare isn’t likely to hurt McCain’s chances of being re-elected. If anything, it will probably burnish his reputation as a maverick. It used to amuse me when McCain would brag about his willingness to reach across the aisle and add his name to legislation being pushed by Ted Kennedy and Russ Feingold, but he never bothered explaining why he could never convince them to sponsor a bill favorable to Republicans.

To my mind, McCain hasn’t been so much a maverick as a Quisling, a Republican you could never count on in a pinch.

But compared to Gov. Bruce Rauner (R), McCain is a giant among men. Frankly, I have no idea how anyone with an (R) after his name managed to get elected governor in Illinois. But, Rauner is just lucky that there isn’t a law against committing political suicide or he’d be behind bars by now.

Imagine a Republican calling for Illinois to be a sanctuary state. No doubt he thought it would gain him sufficient favor with the state’s Democrats that it would offset the losses among downstate Republicans. As Jackie Gleason was wont to say, har-de-har-har! In a state where there’s an ambitious Democratic state senator under every rock, why would liberal voters want to settle for a guy stupid enough to call himself a Republican?

In the meantime, some people are tossing rose petals at Nancy Pelosi because she finally got around to calling out the Antifa thugs for busting heads in Berkeley during what was supposed to be a prayer meeting.

It’s a strange world when Donald Trump is condemned for laying the blame for Charlottesville on both sides of the skirmish, and then condemned for waiting too long (all of 36 hours) before initially addressing the violence.

But Mrs. Pelosi waits two weeks before denouncing the hooligans and she’s lauded to the skies.

But it’s not enough to denounce the scumbags who keep showing up wearing masks and wielding clubs. It’s time to start arresting the mayors who have insisted on preventing the cops from doing their job. In some cases, these public servants are the same pitiful wretches who refuse to enforce federal immigration laws.

What is it going to take before Trump and the attorney general start arresting these people who have sworn to protect and defend the Constitution, and then do the exact opposite?

As for the thugs, they should be rounded up and placed under the adult supervision of Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

One of the more obnoxious things about the brutal young cowards is that they came up with a name that is even more ludicrous than Occupy Wall Street and Black Lives Matter. At least these are actual words, but “Antifa”? Really?! That’s the best the schmucks could do?

Worse yet, they pretend that it stands for anti-fascist when in fact they are, as Laura Ingraham has said, a terrorist group. They are the very embodiment of fascism. They dress like fascists, they think like fascists and, in their mob tactics, they fight like fascists, always looking to out-number their foes five or ten to one. If they had even an ounce of self-respect, they would call themselves Profa.

Or as my friend, Steve Maikoski, defines Antifa: Anti-First-Amendment Fascists.


The FBI doesn’t seem to have changed much since undergoing a recent change of management. It recently refused a court order to release information it gathered regarding Hillary Clinton’s private server.

Its contention — hold on to your hats! — was that there wasn’t sufficient public interest in its findings. Come again? Put it out in book form and I guarantee it would out-sell Mrs. Clinton’s recent contribution to belles-lettres, “What Happened.” Make it a musical and people would start trading in their tickets for “Hamilton.” Give Meryl Streep the lead and the movie would sweep the Oscars.

On the other hand, I doubt if even someone as amusing and charming as yours truly had my name “What Happened,” I could get away with charging people in New York City $125 to attend my book-signing or $2400 in Toronto to show up for a meet-and-greet.

Look up “chutzpah” in the dictionary and you’ll find Hillary Clinton smirking back at you.


Rumors to the contrary, I don’t hate rich people. At least not all of them. I don’t even envy them. Being responsible for, say, a billion dollars doesn’t even sound like fun. It sounds like I’d have to constantly be having meetings with bankers and accountants and members of the board. But if it makes other people happy, more power to them.

The only rich people I despise are the hypocrites — people like Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Jeff Bezos, Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg and George Soros — who are always going on about raising taxes, as if it requires an act of Congress to send a bonus to the U.S. Treasury. Why don’t they just write out a check with a bunch of zeroes on it and stop shooting off their mouths? And while they’re at it, they could also fire their legion of tax consultants whose only role in life is to make sure that Warren Buffet can continue to pay his taxes at a lower rate than his secretary.

I know that Congress has its hands full not repealing and replacing ObamaCare, not erecting Trump’s wall, not compelling the cities and states to enforce existing immigration laws and not bringing about tax reform, but perhaps someone could sneak a bill through that would force left-wing billionaires to be fined $500 million every time they called for higher taxes.

I don’t really want the feds to get the additional money, I just want these UN-loving, anti-Trump, globalist schmucks to shut their stupid yaps.


What we’ve seen take place in Texas over the past week or two is like a morality play. We have seen the best of humankind, courageous and generous people reaching out alike to neighbors and strangers, rescuing them, feeding them, clothing them, sheltering them.

Unfortunately, we have also seen the scum of humanity, taking advantage of a natural disaster to behave like rats, looting homes and stores.

Nearly as bad are those occasional retailers who always look to make a killing, who subscribe to Rahm Emanuel’s line about not letting a crisis go to waste by hiking prices through the roof when people desperately need flashlights, candles, tarps, food and water. In some circles, I’m sure it’s regarded as being a savvy businessman. In certain circles of Hell, that is.


Jan Hooper of San Mateo, CA, sends me a slew of those items that periodically go out on the Internet, connecting comments to pictures. I can pass along the comments, but not the pictures.

The lead item read: “Until we find a cure for liberalism, have your liberals spayed and neutered.” (That might sound drastic or even cruel, but it may not even be necessary when you consider the number of abortions performed every year by Planned Parenthood.)

Next: You Believe 11 Million Illegal Aliens Can Help Our Economy? Why Didn’t They Stay Home and Help Their Own Economy?

Welfare Should Be as Hard to Get as Veteran Benefits.

You Don’t Like Guns? Don’t Buy One. And Don’t Call the Cops. They Have Guns.

If You Live in a Country Where You Can Be Arrested for Fishing Without a License…But Not for Entering the Country Illegally, It’s Safe to Say That Country is Run by Idiots.

My Guns Aren’t Illegal, They’re Undocumented.


Bob Altom let me know he was surprised when I recently ran the funny comments made by sports figures, but left out one attributed to Coach John McKay, when he was suffering through a losing season with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

When asked what he thought of his team’s execution, he replied, “I’m all for it.”

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