The Patriot Post® · Unintended Consequences

By Burt Prelutsky ·
https://patriotpost.us/opinion/53427-unintended-consequences-2018-01-22

It’s a shame — but a predictable one if you’ve been paying attention — that a lot of the things that liberals profess to believe in wind up being disastrous, even for those they’re intended to benefit.

For instance, because the knuckleheads in the state of Washington decided that even people without any marketable skills deserve to be paid $15 an hour ($600 a week, $30,000 a year), the Red Robin restaurant chain decided it could do without busboys. And you can be sure Red Robin won’t be the only outfit that decides that waiters and waitresses can clear their own darn tables.

For liberals, the important thing isn’t that a lot of low-skilled or entry-level youngsters are now unemployed but that left-wing politicians feel good about themselves.

Here in California, Jerry Brown just vetoed a bill mandating that any criminal who is found guilty of using a gun in the commission of a crime will have a mandatory 10 years added to his sentence.

You might find that odd, considering that Gov. Brown is one of the leaders of the pack when it comes to opposing the 2nd Amendment. But it makes sense when you understand that his argument is that the majority of people who would be affected by the longer sentences would be blacks and Hispanics.

Inasmuch as the sentences would be mandatory, he’s not arguing that the cops or judges might be racist; he’s merely acknowledging that minority residents in the state are far more likely to use guns while committing crimes than other people.

So, if I’m tracking this properly, as bad as gun violence is, according to Gov. Brown and his stooges in the state legislature, equal justice under the law is even worse.


One of the things I despise the most about liberals is the way they corrupt the language, something I care about quite a bit. For instance, why should Planned Parenthood not be compelled to change its name to America’s Favorite Abortion Mill?

And why is it that abortions are still being passed off as women’s health care? What does cold-blooded murder have to do with a woman’s health? These days, when women needn’t even claim an abortion is necessary because she was impregnated through rape or incest, but simply because she wishes to have a baby of a certain sex, you’d have to be an official of the Chinese government to find that an acceptable rationale for murder.

Apparently, when Planned Parenthood and its defenders refer to a woman’s health, they never take the state of her mental or moral health into consideration.


In New York, which is always trying to out-do California when it comes to nuttiness, Mayor Bill de Blasio just announced that he’s seeking billions of dollars in recompense from major oil companies, holding them accountable for the devastation caused by a recent snowstorm.

And if that doesn’t work, rumor has it that de Blasio will sue God. The chances are that so long as the suit is filed in New York City, God is going to have to cough up billions or face the consequences.


I was thinking that because the passage of the tax bill is likely to accrue to the benefit of Republicans, they had a good chance of reversing recent history when the president’s party loses seats in both houses as the result of a midterm election. But, now I’m having second thoughts.

That’s because three Republican senators have already announced they won’t be seeking re-election in November. As two of them are Jeff Flake and Bob Corker, I’d normally be applauding their decision. But control of Congress is all about numbers, and, as no Democrat has announced his retirement, and as incumbency is often the determining factor in winning elections, Chuck Schumer is no doubt rubbing his hands in glee, anticipating the opportunity to stop Trump’s agenda in its tracks in 2019.

On the House side, things aren’t a lot better. Forty-three of the members have announced they are either choosing to run for a different office or retiring; 29 of them are Republicans.


Speaking of which, I would better understand the Democrats screaming for Trump’s head over his alleged collusion with Russia, if just once during the previous eight years they had ever objected to Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton taking turns playing spin-the-bottle with Vladimir Putin.

I mean, hardly a week went by without Obama’s promising to be more flexible in his relations with Russia. As for Secretary of State Clinton, she kept busy pressing the reset button with her Russian counterpart, signing off on the transfer of uranium to the Kremlin’s oligarchs and accepting a $135 million bribe to her family’s money-laundering enterprise.

Compared to all that, so far as colluding is concerned, even a photo of Donald Trump cavorting in a pool filled with vodka and Russian prostitutes would pale by comparison.


I am a Neanderthal when it comes to technology. I’m not on Facebook, I neither send nor receive tweets and, although people can send me nasty email, they can’t “friend” or “unfriend” me.

I have subscribers, but no followers, and I want to keep it that way.

I haven’t yet found a way to keep phones out of my life, but it’s not for lack of trying. I rarely have my cell phone with me. I’m not a doctor or a midwife; I don’t deal with emergencies.

I love email. It arrives on little cat’s feet, and then sits quietly until it’s convenient for you to deal with it.

That also explains why I hate making calls. I assume the other person is at least as busy as I am, and doesn’t wish to be disturbed. To me, a phone call is the equivalent of showing up unannounced at someone’s home and pounding on the door, demanding to be admitted.

I don’t care if it’s my best friend or my first-born. If they don’t send me an email first, I’m a lot likelier to call a cop than to open the door.


I have already gone on record to say that I need only see a woman on TV sitting next to Lisa Bloom or Bloom’s mother, Gloria Allred, to doubt the veracity of her complaint, even if she’s whining about someone as rancid as Harvey Weinstein or Al Franken.

What’s more, any time I hear a female describe herself as “a strong woman,” I know she’s both weak and a left-wing pinhead.


In case you missed it, the social engineers who infest the Left have decided that people, especially young people, shouldn’t be allowed to have best friends. It seems that those who might have to settle for merely being friends or acquaintances risk having their feelings hurt.

Do you grasp the utter idiocy of this? It is because of notions like this that I am compelled to write as much and as often as I do. While you and I are just trying to get along the best we can, liberals are as busy as worker bees or termites coming up with these goofy ideas. And while it’s true that nobody has put a gun to my head and forced me to spend my life railing against the loons, it’s probably true that nobody forced the little Dutch boy to stick his finger in the dike. Some of us are simply compelled by our nature to do what we can to hold back the flood, be it water or sewage.


I’ll conclude with an old person’s joke. Being an old person myself, I claim dispensation.

It seems a little silver-haired lady recently called a neighbor, asking for help.

When the neighbor rushed over, he was told that the woman had a killer jigsaw puzzle, but couldn’t figure out how to even get started. The frustration was driving her nuts.

“What,” he asked, “is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

“According to the picture on the box, it’s a large rooster.”

She led him to the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, then shook his head and admitted that no matter how long she devoted to the task, she’d never be able to complete the puzzle.

“I suggest you relax,” he told her, “let me make you a cup of tea, and then I’ll help you put the Corn Flakes back in the box.”