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January 27, 2018

Is There a Doctor in the House?

The way the White House press corps grilled Dr. Jackson, you might have thought they were second-year med students boning up for a final exam.

The way the White House press corps grilled Dr. Jackson, you might have thought they were second-year med students boning up for a final exam.

I must say, it was awfully clever of President Trump to urge his physician to answer every silly question put to him because it not only established that Trump had aced the cognitive part of the exam, scoring 30 out of 30, but it indicated that the individual journalists would have had to cheat to score five or six.

The fools asked about everything but whether Trump has gonorrhea. Because I didn’t watch the entire one-hour inquisition, I don’t know if they asked if he has dandruff, but they did ask if he wore dentures or was a drug addict. That, by the way, happens to be a question I’d love to see the rat pack have to answer while hooked up to lie detectors.

They did get some mileage out of the fact that Donald Trump weighs 239 pounds. But he’s 6'3" tall. So, it only highlighted the fact that they never made a big deal of the fact that Bill Clinton, who is 6'2,“ weighed about 230 when he was first elected.

As I recall, those same ignoramuses considered it bad taste in 2016 that anyone would question why Hillary Clinton had stumbled and fainted on the campaign trail, or even why she wore those funny eyeglasses when being queried a few years earlier by a congressional committee investigating the Benghazi massacre.


Speaking about things medical, it seems that thanks to Medicaid, poor people are able to co-pay as little as a dollar for 240 pain killers that can then be re-sold on the street for $4,000.

On the face of it, that would seem to defeat the purpose of Medicaid, which is supposed to provide a safety net for the elderly and the infirm. It’s not supposed to encourage criminality and help feed the opioid epidemic that killed off 60,000 people last year.

On the other hand, one could argue that it promotes the entrepreneurial spirit for which Americans are famous, offering the underprivileged with a leg up instead of a handout. What’s more, I expect that black and Hispanic politicians will make that argument if the feds ever crack down on the pill-peddlars.


One of those black politicians, Sen. Cory Booker of New Jersey, channeled either John Boehner or Chuck Schumer the other day when he, a grown man, said he was brought to tears when he heard that the president had referred to Haiti as a s—hole. It made me think it might be a good idea for him to seek the presidency of Haiti in 2020 instead of going up against Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders or Oprah Winfrey for his party’s nomination.

For one thing, we have barely recovered from having another black radical in the White House. For another, even liberals aren’t that eager to elect a crybaby.


The argument that the Democrats are making on behalf of illegal aliens couldn’t be goofier. By this time, I wager there are even liberals who aren’t buying all the lies about how wonderful Dreamers are and how illegal aliens are nicer people than the native-born or even the whopper about their helping build the economy when common sense alone would tell you they’re bleeding it dry.

In case anyone doubts what I have just written, the Justice Department and Homeland Security recently reported that 549 people have been convicted of terrorism in this country since 9/11, and 73% of them were foreign-born. Many of them entered the country thanks to chain migration. In addition, 2,554 foreigners on the terrorist watch list have been turned away while attempting to fly into the U.S.

Among other shocking news: These wonderful immigrants commit, on average, 20 honor killings a year because unassimilated Muslim fathers and brothers think their daughters and sisters are becoming too westernized.

The U.S. is also home to 1,500 forced marriages. Between 2003 and 2009, illegal aliens committed 70,000 sex crimes. In Arizona, they are 2.5 times as likely to commit murder than other people; three times likelier to commit manslaughter; and much likelier to commit armed robbery and sex crimes involving children.

Someone who sees things differently is Michelle Obama, who insisted: "If you or your parents are immigrants, know that you are part of a proud American tradition — the infusion of new cultures, talents and ideas, generation after generation, that has made us the greatest country on earth.”

How that woman lies. How dare she refer to “proud American traditions” when she admitted she had never been proud of America until the day her husband garnered the Democratic nomination. And, unless I’m mistaken, her husband not only said that America wasn’t greater than any other nation — many of which actually discourage or prohibit foreigners from emigrating to their countries — but was worse in many ways.

While on the subject, I think if we wait just a little bit longer, the problem with Dreamers will be solved without Congress having to lift a finger. After listening to Schumer, Durbin and Pelosi, going on non-stop about how great they are — achieving success on a scale far beyond what America’s non-Hispanics can ever hope to — it’s inevitable that Mexico, Honduras, El Salvador and Guatemala are going to demand that the U.S. round them up and return them so they can make their own countries great again, if only for the first time.


The false missile alert that terrified Hawaiians a while back had barely ended before Jim Carrey and Jamie Lee Curtis, representing the Hollywood chapter of Hasbeens Anonymous, laid the blame squarely on Donald Trump.

They didn’t explain how it was his fault that some anonymous civil servant hit the wrong button in Honolulu, but they don’t even need to try. They merely have to tweet their inane insults and pray that not too many other people tweet back in response, asking them who they are.

There is a certain amount of divine justice in Hawaii being the place where the panic button was pressed, though. The Aloha State is, after all, politically and geographically about as far left as you can go without falling off the edge of the earth. Sometimes it requires a traumatic event to drive a bit of sense into foolish heads.


Speaking of Trump bashers, Lindsey Graham, otherwise known as the Grand Old Lady of the Senate, took to the ramparts to scold Trump for insulting Haiti. Apparently, it had slipped his mind that in 2013, he twice referred to Mexico as a hellhole in the same speech.

Sen. Rand Paul, not always a political ally of President Trump, did himself proud by stepping forward to credit Trump, when he was still a civilian, with financing medical missions to Central America and, yes, even that s—hole, Haiti.


Ralph Barnett thinks I should post his joke. I’ve had it for a while, and have only been reluctant because it’s a joke I’ve heard several times in my life. My assumption is always that if I’ve heard a joke, everyone else has heard it. But that’s really not logical. So, here goes:

A young monk arrived at a Catholic monastery and was assigned to help transcribe the old church laws by hand. When he noticed that everyone was copying off other copies, he pointed out to the abbot that if the first copyist made even the smallest error, it would have been repeated down through the centuries.

The abbot realized that was true and scurried off to the cave below the monastery, where the original document had been preserved in a vault.

Hours passed and still the abbot didn’t reappear. The monks began to fret. The young monk, feeling responsible, volunteered to go looking.

It took him no time at all to find the abbot, whom he discovered banging his head against the cave wall and moaning.

“What’s wrong, Father?”

In a voice reeking with remorse, the old abbot stopped banging his head long enough to say: “The word was supposed to be ‘celebrate.’”


As I remain persona non grata to Disqus, anyone who wishes to comment or ask a question can reach me at [email protected].

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