Right Opinion

Rumors of God's Death

Burt Prelutsky · Aug. 13, 2018

Mark Twain is credited with being the first person to say that rumors of his death were greatly exaggerated. In the case of God, it’s Friedrich Nietzsche, a 19th-century German wisenheimer, who first spread the rumor of His demise. It’s alleged that God replied, “I happen to be alive, but you’re kaput.”

Be that as it may, religion is definitely on the decline in the West. Both here and in Europe, young people are saying they refuse to believe in fairy tales or in things they can’t see.

What makes it so odd is that a majority of the youngsters voice their belief in socialism, the biggest fairy tale of all. In many parts of the world, children have gone to sleep while their parents read to them tales of big rock candy mountains with soda pop streams and cotton candy trees only to wake up in Russia, China, Cuba, and Venezuela to find their legs and brains in shackles.

These poor souls claim, in their rejection of God and all His trappings, that they are of a scientific bent, prepared to believe only what they can see with their own two eyes. But they then turn around and insist there are more than two genders, thus proving they don’t even believe what they can see.

Several of you have let me know that you share my high regard for Ted Williams, the man who, like Roy Hobbs of “The Natural,” dreamed of walking down the street and having people point him out as “the greatest hitter who ever lived.” Unlike the fictional Hobbs, Williams achieved his dream. Although a strong case can be made for Babe Ruth, he did not, as Williams did, spend more than half his career playing racially integrated baseball and having to face the likes of Satchel Paige, Don Newcombe, Dave Stewart, Bob Gibson, Ferguson Jenkins, Doc Gooden, or C.C. Sabathia.

Among his other baseball accomplishments, at the age of 39, Williams batted .388, meaning that if he’d had just five more hits that season, he’d have had two .400 seasons to his credit. And although Williams won six batting titles, in 1949, he lost out to George Kell of the Tigers .3427 to .3429, meaning that if Williams had collected one more hit or made one less out, he would have been the first player to ever win the Triple Crown (average, home runs, and runs batted in) three times, and he would also have been the last player to have done so.

Something that even many of his fans never knew is that in whichever city the Red Sox were playing, Williams would make it a point to visit a children’s hospital. His only stipulation was that his visit wouldn’t be publicized.

One advantage that Democrats in Congress have over Republicans is that they stand united; wrong, but united! I guarantee that if the Democrats controlled the House, the Senate, and the White House, and their president had been elected on the promise of building a wall at our southern border, Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi would be down there wearing overalls, standing on stepladders, and applying a final coat of plaster to the darn thing.

Republicans, on the other hand, can’t even be counted on to pay lip service to Donald Trump’s agenda — not those in Congress and not their major donors.

Take the billionaire Charles Koch. Please. That pain-in-the-neck has announced he plans to support Sen. Heidi Heitkamp (D-SD) in her attempt to hold her seat in November. It makes no difference to the Loony Tune that if Heitkamp wins, the GOP will be hard-pressed to hold on to its majority in the Senate.

Because his business interests (i.e., open borders, cheap labor) trumps his concern for the nation, he’s okay with Chuck Schumer’s calling the shots as of next January, even if it means that Trump won’t even be able to fill federal judgeships or place any more conservative justices on the Supreme Court.

But even that level of betrayal won’t be enough to stop every Republican candidate from traveling to Wichita, Kansas, hat in hand, begging, like little Oliver Twist, for “More, please.”

Paul Manafort had his home invaded in the dead of night and is in solitary confinement, not because he’s been convicted of a single crime but simply because he spent a few months managing Donald Trump’s presidential campaign.

I don’t think I’d like the guy and I certainly wouldn’t leave my wallet lying around if he was anywhere in the neighborhood, but he is now on trial and facing a possible 300 years in jail for tax evasion and something called bank fraud.

As I said, I regard Manafort as a rather unsavory character, but 300 years?! For goodness’ sake, even Al Capone, who’d committed murder, only got 11 years.

As Alan Dershowitz explains it, the whole point of piling on the guy is so that Trump’s enemies, starting with Robert Mueller, can squeeze him. It seems if you can apply enough pressure, a guy will not only sing, he will compose, meaning he will make things up that the prosecution is dying to hear.

Such is the state of justice these days, when those entrusted with enforcing the law have allowed their perverse political partisanship to turn them into self-righteous scofflaws.

A picture of Nancy Pelosi and Donald Trump strolling through a slum filled with tents, people in tattered rags, and streets filled with syringes, garbage, and feces has gone viral. The balloon above her head reads: “You’re right, President Trump…Haiti is a s—hole!” The balloon above his head reads: “This is San Francisco, you moonbat!”

Dan Parker of Ocean Park, Washington, recently observed that “Socialists believe in slavery. They want everything to be free, but nothing is free since others are required to work to produce goods and services. For example, when they demand free healthcare, what they’re saying is that either someone else pay the doctor or the doctor not charge for his services.”

I replied: “That’s all true. The reason that such idiotic pied pipers as Bernie Sanders, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and Elizabeth Warren can get away with spewing such blatantly absurd crapola is because their youthful followers lack the brains they were born with. Every fool believes socialism is Heaven until the day their dream becomes reality, and they discover that reality is in fact Hell.”

Today’s joke comes your way courtesy of Bob Hunt, Arcadia, California’s favorite son. At least I think it’s a joke.

The commanding officer at the Russian military academy was lecturing on Potential Geopolitical Problems and Solutions.

At the end of the lecture, he asked if there were any questions.

A young officer stood up and asked: “Will there be a third world war, and, if so, will Russia take part in it?”

The general answered both questions in the affirmative.

A second officer asked: “Who do you believe will be our enemy?”

The general replied: “All indications point to China.”

The audience was shocked. A third officer remarked: “General, we are a nation of just 150 million. China has a population of 1.5 billion. How can we possibly win such a war, or even survive?”

The general answered: “Just keep in mind that in modern warfare, it is not the number of soldiers that matters, but their capabilities. For example, in the Middle East, over the past 70 years, there have been a number of wars where five million Jews fought against 150 million Arabs, and each time Israel has emerged victorious.”

After a moment, a fourth officer seated at the rear of the room rose to ask: “Do you think we have enough Jews?”

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