The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store
President Obama appointed a presidential commission Monday to investigate the British Petroleum oil spill as his approval ratings tumbled. This disaster has destroyed the president’s once- invincible aura. Thanks to BP we can all walk on water.
Hillary Clinton flew to China Sunday to address the tensions flaring up on the Korean peninsula. This is right up Hillary’s alley. She just advised North and South Korea to go on 60 Minutes together and deny there are any problems between them.
Joe Sestak said Sunday the White House offered him a federal post if he’d quit the Pennsylvania Senate race. White House lawyers say the offer didn’t break any laws. Pay phones in Chicago are outside the jurisdiction of federal bribery statutes.
The White House proposed bailing out teachers union pension funds Tuesday. The states have mismanaged the money. The California teacher’s union has the only pension fund in the nation that was invested in independent films and flipping houses.
President Obama agreed to send twelve hundred National Guardsmen to the Mexico border Tuesday after a bitter partisan fight. The troops won’t be assigned to keep Mexicans out of the country. Their job is to arrest Arizona police who arrest Mexicans.
South Africa declared itself ready to host the World Cup soccer tournament this month in Johannesburg. There’s always some violence. When England plays Mexico in the first round the National Guard will be breaking up fights at every bar in Arizona.
White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs berated White House reporters Tuesday, saying they ask way too many questions about the oil spill. Obama can’t believe he is being blamed for an oil spill. It’s not like he caused a hurricane the way Bush did.
President Obama flew to the Gulf Coast Friday to check out the progress in the oil spill. He’s fighting the perception that his response was passive, which isn’t fair. The Obama administration has been following the oil spill, but only on Twitter.
The Justice Department prepared to sue over Arizona’s new immigration law Wednesday claiming that if the U.S. decides not to enforce immigration law, the states can’t enforce immigration law either. This won’t make Obama more popular. Last week Texas Governor Rick Perry was nearly impeached because for five minutes he forgot the Alamo.
China refused to crack down on North Korea for sinking South Korea’s ship. Beijing is afraid tough sanctions will cause millions of North Koreans to come pouring over the border into their country. If there’s one thing China’s learned from California it’s that it’s financial suicide to be a welfare state with an open border.
The White House’s top candidate for National Intelligence Director was reported to be Pentagon official James Clapper. That’s the perfect name for our top spy. You want somebody who can turn the lights on and off without leaving fingerprints.
Hillary Clinton demanded sanctions against North Korea for torpedoing a South Korean naval ship two months ago. There’s a reason she demanded an international response. She’s given up trying to get President Obama to return her telephone call.
Congress apologized to Indian tribes for past warlike U.S. policies in a resolution read aloud at the Congressional Cemetery. It’s dangerous to walk around that place. There are four hundred and thirty-five open graves just waiting for November.
© Copyright 2010 Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and speaks to groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at [email protected].