The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store

Oakland’s City Council voted to allow industrial size marijuana farms of one hundred thousand square feet. That’s half the size of a football field. If you think the Red Sox and Yankees play slowly wait’ll you see the length of a Raiders game this fall.

Brett Favre told ESPN he might have to retire from the NFL because of nagging injuries and surgery. The fans play along. Every summer the only thing that keeps the economy alive in the Midwest is fans buying going-away gifts for Brett Favre.

Agriculture Secretary and former Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack apologized for firing Shirley Sherrod, saying it was his decision alone. Nobody believed him. Governors never fire anybody, that’s why the state budgets are in so much trouble.

President Obama will vacation on the Gulf Coast in August despite the anger at him locally. They say he ruined tourism, then laid off oil workers. At the rate he’s destroying the South it’s just a matter of time before he frees the illegal immigrants.

The Treasury Department announced it will auction millions of shares of Citigroup stock which the U.S. government acquired in the bailout. The first stock sale was very lucrative for the government. The Treasury Department made so much money on the sale they just hired a lawyer to figure out a way around the capital gains tax.

Tour de France winner Floyd Landis told ABC he saw Lance Armstrong take steroids. This bicycle race is a big deal in Europe. Every year they roll through France in nineteen days attempting to break the German Army’s record of eighteen days.

Al Gore was loudly cheered at the Jackson Day Dinner in Nashville last week in his first public appearance in a month. He’s really been enjoying life since he got out of politics. It was inevitable that he would eventually be prosecuted for it.

The Weather Channel reported a brutal heat wave on the Eastern Seaboard last Friday making life miserable in the cities. Meteorologists say it’s the hottest summer in history. It was so hot in Washington D.C. that Charlie Rangel was sticking to his story.

President Obama slammeed GOP leader John Boehner for blocking spending bills and tax hikes on the rich. It’s called revenge. Last month when President Obama placed a surtax on tanning beds John Boehner had to find another place to sleep.

John Kerry and his wife bought a seven-million-dollar yacht in New Zealand and docked it in Rhode Island to avoid Massachusetts taxes. The couple named the yacht The Isabel. In an effort to win the Hispanic vote they named it after the housekeeper.

Arizona’s illegal aliens packed up Monday and prepared to flee the state ahead of Sunday’s crackdown law. It caused an uproar in Washington. New Mexico congressmen want the census started over again so they’ll get credit for all the new constituents.

President Obama appeared on The View, becoming the first president to do a daytime talk show. At least it’s something. He has to find some way of getting in the history books after African-Americans began referring to him as our first Hawaiiian president.

BP CEO Tony Hayward was fired Monday and replaced by American Robert Dudley of Gulfport. Democrats are aghast. In eighteen months the Obama administration has created one decent job and wouldn’t you know it went to a white guy from Mississippi.