The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store
Real Housewives of D.C. starred White House crasher Michaela Salahi. She made it into a White House state dinner last fall by slipping past guards at the fence. Barack Obama shook her hand in the receiving line and gave her U.S. citizenship.
Missouri voters passed a referendum refusing to comply with President Obama’s health care mandate that everyone must buy health insurance. This is the state that produced Harry Truman and Jesse James. The state’s motto is Nobody Lives Forever.
Nancy Pelosi canceled the August recess and called Congress back into session to vote on a spending bill. Members were never happier to get back to Washington. They were followed all the way to the airport by taxpayers with pitchforks.
The Weather Channel reported a record heat wave across the South. There were electrical power outages at hotels in Washington D.C. It was so hot at the Mayflower that Al Gore took off his towel and there wasn’t even a masseuse in the room.
British Petroleum poured concrete into the ruptured well as the Gulf of Mexico cleared up. There goes the compensation fund for the locals. Now they all have to admit that the damage to their incomes was caused by alcohol and gambling.
The U.S. Marshals Service admitted it has been storing images from courthouse body scans. The TSA is suspected of saving airport body scans. We should have known what the government was doing when they wouldn’t stop complaining about the obesity epidemic.
Michelle Obama was criticized for jetting to Spain and renting thirty-five hotel rooms at a five-star resort. It’s fair to criticize her for the trip. Why should only teachers and autoworkers live like royalty at the taxpayer’s expense?
NBC dropped Keith Olbermann from Sunday Night Football. Oprah’s ratings are down, Letterman’s are down and Olbermann lost a gig at which he truly excels. The only thing linked with Obama that’s not going down right now is the unemployment rate.
President Obama spoke in Texas and he blasted Republicans for proposing tax cuts. That took courage. He’s so unpopular in Texas that the only way they could get an audience for his speech was to put up a sign outside reading Now Hiring.
The Summer Olympic Games in London kept BP as a principal sponsor. The company has lots of tie-ins planned. It’ll be a dramatic moment when the marathon runner runs into Wembley Stadium and lights the water fountain with the Olympic torch.
Nobel Prize-winning physicist Stephen Hawking said mankind must leave the planet Earth or face certain extinction. He’s not the first prominent thinker to give up on the planet. Three masseuses are willing to testify that Al Gore threw in the towel.
President Obama will take his family to the Gulf Coast for one night this weekend, a week after BP cleaned up the oil spill. The president wants to get in and out of there quickly. He refuses to have his picture taken with a private enterprise success story.
Congress passed twenty-six billion dollars for states to give teachers. The GOP says the bill lets states spend it on anything. California’s getting two and a half billion dollars and they plan to spend it on TV commercials asking for more money.
© Copyright 2010 Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and speaks to groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at [email protected].