Right Opinion

A Conspiracy of Dunces

Burt Prelutsky · Jan. 25, 2020

We have often had inferior people running in the hopes of becoming America’s Commander in Chief, but never have we had quite so many as today. Part of the reason is that so many women have begun setting their sights on the Oval Office. This isn’t to say they’re any worse than the men — which they’re not and probably couldn’t be even if they made the effort — merely that it increases the sheer number of mediocrities seeking the office.

Consider that among the frontrunners are the likes of Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders, Pete Buttigieg and Amy Klobuchar. There’s not one of you’d want to have lunch with, let alone trust to decide the fate of the nation.

Joe Biden is a total phony, and I’m not just referring to his hair plugs and his painted teeth. He has no convictions, which he proves every day as he flips on every issue; and while everybody is focused on his son’s financial chicanery, nobody seeks to question why Vice President Biden had Hunter on the plane with him when he was flying off to Ukraine and China on supposedly official business and whether it’s just possible that the father shared in some of those ill-gotten gains with his cocaine-addicted son.

In his desperate attempt to garner the nomination, Biden is promising to allow in an additional two million poor, uneducated, foreign-born, welfare recipients. The motto of the Democrats may as well be “The Welfare Junkies of Today are the Voters of Tomorrow.”

Going him one better, we have Elizabeth Warren vowing to show up in the Rose Garden to read aloud the names of every black person and every transgender, especially black female transgenders, who were killed during the prior 12 months.

She didn’t mention reading aloud the names of every soldier, sailor, marine or police officer, who was killed in action. She also didn’t vow to read off the names of every person raped, murdered or robbed, by any of the twenty-odd million illegal aliens who have been welcomed into the country by Democrats over the past 30 years, ever since Tip O'Neill and his colleagues in the House promised Ronald Reagan to build a wall at the Mexican border in exchange for his signing the amnesty bill.

Pete Buttigieg, the former mayor of a small town in Indiana and a practicing sodomite, joined with Sen. Warren in describing attacks on black transsexual women as a crisis and even an epidemic. Apparently, when a black female trannie is attacked, it is regarded as a crisis. But a million illegal aliens trying to crash our border is a crisis only in the unstable mind of Donald Trump.


If the Democrats had set out to prove just how inept they are, they could hardly have done a better job over the past year. First, they kept insisting that Robert Mueller was going to get the goods on Trump, proving that he had personally financed the Russian Revolution. When that failed to pan out, they set out to prove that a phone call between Trump and his counterpart in Ukraine constituted treason. When they had to settle for the equivalent of Trump’s jay-walking and cutting the tag off his White House mattress, even Nancy Pelosi was too embarrassed to send the articles of impeachment over to the Senate. She held off for a month before finally caving to pressure from the Democrats in the Senate.

In the meantime, Pelosi got her stooges in the House to pass a non-binding resolution that called for Trump to not engage in war with Iran without their okay. One, as I say, it’s non-binding, meaning it’s merely ceremonial, sort of like when the House names a new post office. Also, the drone strike that took out Gen. Soleimani occurred in Iraq, where he had no business being, so the resolution, even were it binding, probably wouldn’t have given Trump a moment’s pause.

What’s more, Soleimani was on a terrorist watch list, so, as with Obama’s assassination of Osama bin Laden, Trump didn’t require anyone’s okay to do what needed to be done.

And, finally, why would the President want to tip off the House when, in all likelihood, Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib would have tipped off Soleimani that a drone was headed his way?


As weeks go, I’d say that Iran’s was worse than any I can remember. First, they lost their top military commander. Then, in retaliation, they fired a dozen missiles into Iraq that failed to kill anyone and amounted to nothing but a fireworks show. Not only was their response feeble, but they were so nervous about what Trump might do in response, they shot down a Ukrainian airliner killing 176 people, including a number of Canadians.

There was also the memorial service for the General where people stampeded, resulting in the deaths of about four dozen and another 200 injured. Nobody explained the stampede, but perhaps in a Muslim nation, where movies, dancing, rodeos and alcohol, are prohibited, that’s the only form of entertainment that’s allowed.

Add all that to the demonstrators in the streets who are fed up with being constantly at war while their economy is in the toilet thanks to Trump’s sanctions, and I doubt if the Ayatollah and the mullahs in Tehran are sleeping very well at night. What’s more, all their tossing and turning is keeping the sheep awake.


After passing a milestone recently, by turning 80, a few people wondered if I had begun worrying about my mortality. The fact is, I’m not worried about dying. If there is a heaven, I figure I could just squeak in, thanks to my late wife Yvonne and a few friends vouching for me. If there isn’t, I assume it’s a lot like sleeping except for the part where you wake up and have to go to the bathroom.

Because my father died when he was 67 or 68 and neither of my older brothers made it to 71, I figure I’m playing with house money.

Besides, at my age, I’m just grateful to be passing milestones and not kidney stones.


Because I know a lot of you take your Second Amendment right seriously, I thought I should pass along some words of advice I came across in The New American.

A gentleman called Salvatore, who is described as “a firearms instructor, competitive shooter, and life-long practitioner of the concealed carry lifestyle,” suggests that there are a few things that people who might someday have to shoot someone in self defense should keep in mind.

First of all, a gun-hating district attorney might file charges against someone who was merely protecting his home or his loved ones or himself.

No matter how righteous the shooting might be, a prosecuting zealot might decide to put you on trial and leave it up to 12 people, the ones not bright enough to get out of jury duty, whether you retain your freedom.

Salvatore warns against displaying bumper stickers that carry messages such as things as “Kill them all and let God sort them out” that can be used to portray you as a gun-toting menace.

He also warns against using non-standard ammunition, such as Zombie Hunter bullets, because, again, it would help the D.A. claim you’re nothing but a vigilante who’s looking to single-handedly dole out frontier justice, casting yourself as sheriff, judge and jury.

So, if in spite of this warning, you have the wrong sort of bumper sticker on your car or the wrong sort of cartridges in your weapon when you blast a home invader, be sure to dig a hole in your garden where the thug can help you grow next summer’s crop of turnips and carrots.


A couple of quotes appeared on a Christmas card that arrived either two weeks late or 50 weeks early. They were Martin Luther King’s “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter” and Edmund Burke’s similar sentiment, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

So don’t conceal your conservatism under a barrel for fear of offending. The one mind you change just might be the one vote Donald Trump needs to be re-elected in November.

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