The Patriot Post® · From The Comedy Store
U.S. Congresswoman Maxine Waters accused the Hurricane Center of racism for never giving hurricanes an African-American name. She’s right. Just once someone with a black name might like to get into one of these old beach mansions without delivering something.
Frank McCourt revealed in divorce testimony he only had six million dollars when he bought the L.A. Dodgers for five hundred million dollars six years ago. That was the top of the market. He didn’t think he could afford to buy the team until he got a brochure in the mail offering to loan him five hundred million dollars against his house.
President Obama ducked a question about being a Muslim on NBC and changed the subject to his birth certificate. His religion is a bit vague. Somebody asked him what he thought of the Apostles Creed and Obama said it was his favorite character in all the Rocky movies.
President Obama spent Labor Day relaxing at Camp David. It’s the most relaxing holiday on the political calendar. Labor Day is a day where Democrats celebrate the labor movement at softball picnics and where Republicans exchange work shirts as gag gifts.
Chicago dentist William DeJean financed a TV commercial urging Hillary Clinton to challenge Obama for president in two years. It was the dentist’s idea. It takes a guy with access to laughing gas to figure out a way for Democrats to hold onto the White House next election.
President Obama summoned Tim Geithner back to Washington from vacation to help advisers devise an emergency economic stimulus measure. Before drawing up a plan they all agreed the plan must abide by one ground rule. Leaving people the hell alone is not an option.
President Obama’s personal approval rating was ten points below Bill Clinton’s personal approval rating in the polls last week. Apparently there’s more public sympathy for an adulterer than a socialist. Everyone’s tempted to cheat but nobody’s tempted to share.
John McCain told Fox News Sunday any tax cuts proposed by President Obama would be a deathbed conversion. He knows all about those. The anti-immigration-reform John McCain looked great after last week’s Senate primary win over the pro-immigration-reform John McCain.
President Obama gave a speech honoring Labor Day Monday in Milwaukee. The holiday has become a pretty grim occasion. Labor Day used to be a celebration honoring the American worker and today we pause to remember the Chinese who died sewing for our country.
President Obama gave a fiery speech to a union crowd in Milwaukee where he lashed out at Republicans, saying that Republicans treat him like a dog. That’s so untrue. First of all, Republicans love their dogs, and second, all their dogs have papers.
Tropical Storm Hermine barreled through Texas causing heavy flooding from the Gulf of Mexico to Dallas. The misery got worse by the hour. Hermine was downgraded from a tropical storm to a depression when the unemployment numbers came out.
President Obama admitted on ABC News that if the November election is a referendum on the economy that the Democrats won’t win. It’s especially true in House elections. An incumbent Democrat stopped by the dry cleaners Tuesday and they made him pay in advance.
President Obama startled Americans with his speech in Cleveland attacking millionaires. The crowd was on his side. Cleveland has only produced one millionaire since the robber-baron era and when he left for the Miami Heat, the locals burned his jersey.
© Copyright 2010 Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and speaks to groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at [email protected].