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Burt Prelutsky / Nov. 21, 2020

Man Plans, God Laughs

Recently, one of Minneapolis's black female officials, who played an active role in the defund movement, was caught calling for a cop because her Uber driver refused to roll up his window.

Quite often, we find ourselves hoping that even if there isn’t a Heaven, there is at least a Hell so that justice for the worst members of the human race isn’t denied but is simply delayed.

But, sometimes, if we can just be patient, we actually get to see justice doled out with a vengeance.

Consider Minneapolis. That was where it all began. The Black Lives Matter mob descended, pretending that the death of career criminal George Floyd was representative of systemic racism in the city’s police department. For a great number of blacks and far too many white pinheads, it justified burning down the city.

It even led to a nation-wide campaign to defund the police, which quickly morphed into a call to get rid of the entire department in Minneapolis and replace the cops with unarmed social workers and community organizers.

So long as you’re a Republican and not living in Minneapolis, the campaign couldn’t have worked out better. In part because 100 police officers have taken off for saner pastures, crime has gone through the roof, with 500 people being shot in the first 10 months of the year, and homicides up by 89%.

Recently, one of the city’s black female officials, who played an active role in the defund movement, was caught calling for a cop because her Uber driver refused to roll up his window. She was told it wasn’t a police matter.

Minneapolis is now trying to bring in police officers from other cities. One can’t help hoping they fail in their efforts, and actually wind up having to rely on social workers and college professors to keep the peace.


I keep hearing from readers who are fed up with Fox and have let me know they are going elsewhere. I know they were very upset with the network for making an early call, predicting that Arizona was going to Biden. It didn’t trouble me in the least. If Fox was right, it was right; if it was wrong, it would be embarrassed, just like the pollsters who’d spent months telling us to expect a blue tsunami on November 3rd. But the polls had closed in Arizona, so who really cared what the network predicted?

I don’t want to call any of you liars. I figure you were just in a lousy mood after the returns began to show Biden pulling ahead.

I just don’t think Conservatives are any likelier to abandon Fox than Liberals are to move to Europe or the South Seas, as they always promise to do if a Republican is elected president.


How is it we keep hearing the dunderheads tell us to wear masks and maintain a six-foot distance from every other human being, but they’ve stopped talking about washing our hands every five minutes?


Although Joe Biden promised to save the soul of America, I’d say he’s getting off to a pretty shaky start. For one thing, he is not only talking about getting us back into the Paris Accords, but the Iran nuclear deal.

For another, he has 40 lobbyists on his transition team. In fact, his Chief of Staff is a guy named Ron Klain. His last gig was as chief lobbyist for the titans of Silicon Valley, so I wouldn’t expect Washington to do anything to curtail the power of Google, Facebook and Twitter, to censor the news any time soon.

Still, when it comes to his cabinet, it’s something of a mixed bag. I’m not saying I’d be happy with Bernie Sanders as the Secretary of Labor, Elizabeth Warren as the Secretary of the Treasury, Tammy Duckworth or Jack Reed heading up Defense, Chris Coons or Chris Murphy as the Secretary of State or Marin Heinrich in charge of Interior, but it sure would do a lot to improve the House and Senate.

There’s even a rumor that Rep. Rashida Tlaib might be in line to be named Secretary of HUD. Politically, that would make sense because the Democrats are always looking for ways to lock up that all-important antisemitic vote.

Actually, when you see the names vying for major positions in a Biden administration, you find yourself wondering how the nation has survived this long when this is the crowd who may be helping to run (ruin) our lives for the next four years: Pete Buttigieg, Jay Inslee, Marcia Fudge, Susan Rice, Keisha Lance Bottoms, Tom Perez, Doug Jones, Sally Yates, Xavier Becerra, Eric Garcetti and Andrew Cuomo.


The longer the lockdown goes on, the more certain I become that America’s governors are engaged in a spirited competition to see who can make us jump through the most outlandish hoops.

So if one of them decreases seating in restaurants to 50%, you can bet that Cuomo will lower it in New York City to 25%.

If one governor limits Thanksgiving get-togethers to 15 people, Newsome will lower it to 10 people and then double down by putting a two-hour time limit on the festivities.

“So, don’t even think about asking for a second helping of mashed potatoes, Uncle Harry, the clock’s ticking. As for dessert, wrap up a piece of pumpkin pie, Cousin Trudy, and take it with you. And be quick about it!”

Not to be out-done by those big shots, Minnesota’s Governor Tim Walz is mandating that people lower their voices because he’s convinced that speaking loudly spreads the virus.


Of all the field reporters at Fox, the one I find the most annoying is Casey Stegall. No matter the story, he delivers the news as if he’s addressing a class of nursery school children. Which suggests he should be working at CNN or MSNBC.


When Sen. Joe Manchin (D, WV) vowed to Bret Baier that there’s no way he would ever vote to end the Senate filibuster or to pack the Supreme Court, I had barely sighed with relief before party pooper Matt Whitlock reminded us that this is the same Joe Manchin who voted against Judge Barrett, voted for impeachment and voted against Trump’s tax cuts.

Once I digested all that, I recalled that the only time he ever breaks ranks with Chuck Schumer is when it comes to revoking the Second Amendment, and that’s only because he represents West Virginia, where the voters still cling to their guns and their religion.


It’s thanks to my meds that I’m not in constant pain, and I am therefore a champion of the pharmaceutical companies, but I still have to call them as I see them.

Pfizer apparently held off announcing the breakthrough with the Covid-19 vaccine in order to deny President Trump credit for fast-tracking the discovery before the election.

That was mainly in retaliation for his forcing the industry to sell their products to Americans for the same price they sell them to Canada.

It seems they had the positive test results in October but kept the good news under wraps until the first business day after the media announced that Biden had won the election.

Because various miracle drugs have helped me deal over the years with the pain associated with pleurisy, pneumonia, gout and rheumatoid arthritis, I have long defended Big Pharma. But when they show themselves to be this politically partisan, a flag has to be thrown. And thanks to medical science, my shoulder is in working order and I am able to throw that flag.

Worse yet, it turns out that the Deep State bureaucrats at the FDA imposed a 60-day delay in announcing a potential breakthrough just two months before Election Day. I guess they didn’t trust Pfizer to keep a secret.


I heard from a Christian woman who let me know that a Jewish grandmother she was friends with was very disappointed in the actions of the family’s other grandmother.

Based on my own 80 years of experience, I explained that Jews are born disappointed. We then move on to dispirited, disgruntled and dyspeptic.

This has led me to suspect that my dog Angel is part Maltese, part Terrier and part Jewish. I hope she is happy, but she never seems happy. Instead, she gives the impression of being one of those wives who look at their husbands and convey the clear message that her life has been one major disappointment after another, all because she made the mistake of marrying this pathetic excuse for a man.

Frankly, I’m considering having Angel baptized.

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