The Patriot Post® · Counting Noses

By Burt Prelutsky ·
https://patriotpost.us/opinion/78119-counting-noses-2021-03-08

By now, I’m sure that even people who have trouble with basic math know that Joe Biden is lying when he refers to 11 million aliens, aka undocumented Democrats, who are in this country illegally. After all, two decades ago, that was the number being tossed around. The fact that he doesn’t even bother raising that mythical number by a few million shows how much contempt he has for Americans who don’t happen to be named Biden.

If he didn’t hate us, he wouldn’t push for open borders, allowing illiterate, unskilled workers to flood a nation that is already reeling from the economic downturn of the pandemic.

He wouldn’t cancel construction jobs, such as the border wall and the Keystone XL pipeline, which not only cost thousands of union workers their high-paying jobs, but upset Canada, one of those allies that the Democrats were always fretting about when Trump was in the White House.

If Biden didn’t despise the nation he has sworn to defend, he wouldn’t put us back in the Paris Accords, which will destroy our economy, or the World Health Organization, which is beholden to China, or the Iran nuclear deal, which, like the original one, hurt us and helped fund the chief exporter of Islamic terrorism.

But getting back to those alleged 11 million. The Democrats would have us believe that between, say, 2000 and today, nobody from Mexico or Central America snuck into the U.S. It would also mean that once here, none of those people had children.

I know there are those pinheads who argue that the child of two illegal aliens is a citizen just because our tax dollars paid for his or her delivery in a California, Arizona or Texas hospital. But they, like Joe Biden, place a pathetically small value on American citizenship.


Because liberals have agendas where decent, intelligent people have principles and commonsense, they always find themselves bumping into themselves.

For instance, how many times have we heard those on the Left defend women’s right to abortions wherever and whenever they’ve wanted one on the basis that it’s her body and she can do with it whatever she wishes.

So, her body is sacrosanct, a temple so long as she wants to sacrifice a baby on its altar.

But let that woman’s sister decide that she doesn’t want to get the Covid vaccine, perhaps because it could destroy her chances of becoming pregnant, and suddenly her body becomes public property.


Among the many things that have steeply declined in my lifetime, late night television is right up there with movies, music and baseball.

I know it’s hard to believe, but late-night talk show hosts used to actually be intelligent and even witty. But today, the likes of Jack Paar, Steve Allen, Dick Cavett and Johnny Carson, have been replaced by left-wing partisan hacks like Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Bill Maher and Stephen Colbert.

They spend half the time insulting Republicans and the other half sucking up to whichever Democrat agrees to appear on their show.

These Bill’s and Steve’s and Jimmy’s might as well be hosting shows alongside Don Lemon, Rachel Maddow and Anderson Cooper, on CNN or MSNBC.

And whereas late-night guests were once people you might actually invite to a party (Alexander King, Jack Douglas, Abe Burrows, George S. Kaufman, Oscar Levant), today you’re stuck with the feeble-minded star of the latest dumb buddy movie or the gay next-door neighbor on some insipid sitcom.


In Hollywood, it’s not just sexual transgressions that regularly get swept under the red carpet. The latest scandal to hit Hollywood involves the Golden Globes.

It’s only because the town is so award-crazy that anyone has ever heard of the Foreign Press Association. That’s an 87-member group of freelance foreign reporters who are responsible for handing out the Golden Globes every year. Actually, they’re not generally affiliated with any English or foreign-based newspaper or magazine. They’re generally referred to as stringers. They’re a scraggly bunch who hope to get wind of a scandal and then sell their story to the highest bidder overseas.

The current scandal was the result of the 87 not wishing to increase its numbers to 88. Living up to her reputation as a woman scorned, Kjersti Flaa decided to sue, claiming the group is corrupt, accusing the tax-exempt organization of “operating as a cartel, barring qualified applicants and monopolizing press access while improperly subsidizing its members income, and accepting thousands of dollars in emoluments from the studios, networks and celebrities they conferred awards on.”

As far back as the 1970s, they were a joke. At the time, I worked for a TV production company and the word was that it was easier and certainly cheaper to bribe these folks than it was to bribe Mexican cops.

It was said that if you threw a party and provided enough booze, shrimp and those little pigs-in-a-blanket, you could lock up their votes for the next three years.

Of course, these days, seeing what has become of journalists, the 87 are no longer to be found wallowing at the bottom of the barrel and clearly the price of their votes has gone up.


Nancy Pelosi claims to be calling for a 9/11-type investigation into the January 6th contretemps at the Capitol, but she’s lying. Those charged with finding out the truth about the Islamic attack that killed 3,000 Americans were politically neutral. They weren’t looking to score points for or against President George W. Bush. They sought the truth.

By handpicking a rabid anti-Trumper, retired Lt. General Russell Honoré, to head up the commission, she has guaranteed the report will be transparently dishonest.

Clearly, it is the House Speaker’s wish to make people think the two events were morally equivalent.

But Bryan Nielsen, the pride of St. Johns, Florida, has come along and put the “democracy-destroying insurrection” in proper perspective.

“Democrats and the media (pardon the redundancy)” he writes, “are trying their level best to equate the college hazing incident of Jan. 6th to 9/11.

"A couple of things occur to me. One, if that’s the best insurrection that half a million Trump supporters could muster, it was an embarrassment.

"Two, against the backdrop of the last four years of nonstop obstruction, partisan witch hunts, media slandering and lies, ridiculous partisan impeachment attempts, etc., all to climax with an obvious stolen election, what should the proper response have been?”

Wesley Forgue chimed in on the Texas freeze: “I can’t believe that Texas produces 25% of its energy with wind power. That seems awfully high considering the wind doesn’t blow all the time (maybe in West Texas?) and you need backup power when the wind isn’t blowing. You can’t just switch on a gas or coal-fired power plant.

"They need 12-24 hours to get up to speed when needed, so you have to have them burning their fuel even when the wind is blowing. Also, you need battery backup, which is extremely expensive to provide, and we’re dependent on China for the necessary Lithium.”

It makes me wonder if there’s anything for which we’re not dependent on China. The last I heard, they were our primary source for cheap tacky clothes; tainted pet food; illegally harvested internal organs; exotic viruses; corrupt politicians; and now Lithium for our batteries.


Howard Last, who hates lawyers as much as I hate cilantro, would like to see them all gone from politics.

Sometimes, I suspect he just brings the subject up because he likes to goad me.

It’s not as if I’m crazy about lawyers. Although I know I have a few attorneys on my subscription rolls, I don’t think I have any personal friends in the legal profession. I just think that it’s too easy to lump them all together, when they practice in so many fields.

Some defend criminals, some prosecute them, some specialize in entertainment law, some draw up wills, others deal in real estate or even maritime law.

Even Shakespeare couldn’t have wanted to kill all of them. Certainly not the ones charged with writing up his contracts with the management at the Globe Theatre.

In response to Mr. Last’s latest blast at the legal profession, I wrote: “I’m not saying I’m crazy about lawyers. But I’m not crazy about most groups of people. I would venture that most lawyers are smarter than most non-lawyers because, like the Jesuits of old, they are trained to use their brains. Whether they use them for good or evil is a matter of character, not profession.”


If at times, you get the feeling that the world has gone stark raving bonkers, it’s not your imagination.

Take the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, better known as NATO. It was originally created to act as a buffer against the expansionist aims of the Soviet Union. We can argue over whether it was our business to protect all those nations in Europe from their eastern neighbor, no matter how boorish and annoying.

But that was then, and this is now. Thanks to the loss of its slave satellites, Russia now has half our population and an economy that resembles Italy’s. Yet we continue to kick in a good piece of change to keep NATO afloat.

Has nobody noticed that rather than purchase our oil, Germany prefers to be dependent on a Russian pipeline for its energy needs? At the same time, Turkey, a member of NATO, is competing with Iran to be Russia’s number one ally in the Muslim world.

Suckers that we are, we kick in roughly 70% of NATO’s annual $1.8 billion budget.

Instead of sending all that money to Brussels, couldn’t Biden just burn it on the east lawn of the White House and save us the cost of shipping and handling?


You can email Burt directly at [email protected].