Burt Prelutsky / Apr. 17, 2021

Humpty Dumpty Was a Democrat

According to Kirsten Gillibrand, “Paid leave is infrastructure. Childcare is infrastructure. Caregiving is infrastructure.”

These days, when considering the political scene, I find my mind often drawn to the words of George Orwell and Franz Kafka, but, occasionally, I feel myself transported to the seemingly-drug-induced surrealism of Lewis Carroll’s “Alice in Wonderland.”

It was there that young Alice had the following exchange with a large egg seated on a wall: “When I use a word,” said Humpty Dumpty, “it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.”

“The question is,” replied Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”

“The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be the master — that’s all.”

Mr. Dumpty made a lot of sense before he took his fatal tumble.

Clearly, New York Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand must have been channeling her inner Humpty when she proudly announced: “Paid leave is infrastructure. Childcare is infrastructure. Caregiving is infrastructure.”

Obviously, Ms. Gillibrand was picturing herself in the same heroic light as the Roman slaves when they each claimed to be Spartacus, the slave doomed to be crucified.

Instead, she came across as a self-aggrandizing ninny who was worming her way into the good graces of the Biden administration.


In the meantime, the rest of her Democratic colleagues were keeping up the drumbeat that Georgia’s recent voting bill was yet another attempt to bring back Jim Crow by suppressing the black vote.

The fact remains that in Georgia, black voter registration and turn-out exceeds white voter registration and turn-out, which helps to explain how a couple of creeps like Jon Ossoff and black racist Raphael Warnock were elected to the U.S. Senate last January.

So, as the Wall Street Journal’s Jayson Riley put it: “If Republicans are out to suppress the black vote, they’re doing a really lousy job of it.”

But of course, the photo IDs never had the slightest effect on black voters in Georgia or anywhere else. It was just a handy way for the Democrats to pretend that the GOP was the KKK, but without the bedsheets.


Which segues nicely into an email I received from Scott Nielsen. He complimented me on my honesty in admitting I would love to suppress the black vote.

I told him that if I can’t be honest and write the things that a great many people are thinking, I’d be wasting people’s time and money. But I can’t too much credit for it. I’m as close to being the Teflon man as you will find in America today. They can’t hound me out of a job or de-friend or de-platform me because I’m not represented on social media. That’s why I can tell Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg and Jack Dorsey, to go suck eggs.

I wouldn’t recommend it to everyone, but it is very liberating and those who are in a similar position should give it a try.


Joe Biden really should give it a rest. By now, we have all gotten the message that he’s not Donald Trump. After rejoining the China-run World Health Organization and crawling back into the Paris Accord, we had no illusions. We understood we had returned to the dark ages of Obama.

So, he really didn’t need to drive the point home by begging Iran to return to the negotiating table, by demanding a phony purity test from Georgia but not from Communist China and by sending $235 to the Palestinian terrorists.


I’m reluctant to say that some of my best friends are blacks because it sounds like such a cliché. People, especially bigots, are always saying things like “Some of my best friends are (Jewish), (Muslims), (homosexuals), but they’re usually lying.

I say it because I know how easy it is to write me off as a racist. But I really don’t care what color somebody is; as I’ve often said, give me a few minutes and I’ll find a much better reason to despise him.

The reason I’m down on black people these days is because they rarely give me a reason not to be.

For instance, I believe every single member of BLM is a violent left-wing thug who would kill every white person in America if he could.

What’s more, I feel much the same way about Maxine Waters, Sheila Jackson Lee, James Clyburn and their fellow members of the Congressional Black Caucus.

Even the black middle class shows itself to be contemptible; after all, they’re the folks who keep electing the dregs of humanity (the aforementioned, along with Lori Lightfoot, Cory Booker, Keisha Lance Bottoms, Justin Fairfax, Muriel Bowser, Latoya Cantrell) and allowing the putrid likes of Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan and Stacey Abrams to speak on their behalf.

As for black celebrities, they’re the ones who chanted for O.J. Simpson’s race-baiting lawyer Johnnie Cochran to "Free O.J.”

Finally, the fact that black kids have people like Colin Kaepernick, LeBron James, Don Lemon, the Obamas and Kamala Harris, as role models doesn’t bode well for race relations in the future.


People used to warn about the barbarians at the gates. Now we have more to fear from a very wealthy lunatic named Gates.

It seems that the same fascistic-minded loon who wants to foist vaccination passports on the rest of us now wants to take control of the weather. It’s his dangerous notion to seed the stratosphere with some chemical which would refract the sun’s rays in order to cool the planet.

If that sounds like the sort of thing that a crazy James Bond villain would do in order t extort billions of dollars from world leaders, it’s because Super Nerd is every bit as bonkers as Dr. Julius No, Ernst Blofeld and Auric Goldfinger, but lacking their warmth and charm.


While the politicians at the Pentagon are doing their best to neuter our military, their colleagues at West Point are bombarding the cadets with anti-white propaganda intended to promote racial division.

I don’t think it’s impossible that the administrators at the Academy will soon come up with a revisionist paper about the American Revolution, followed soon after by the erection of a statue of that tragically mis-judged hero, Benedict Arnold.


Not only is Gov. Cuomo not leaving quietly, but he is trying to get revenge on those trying to drive him from office by pushing for a bill that would, at the cost of $2 billion to New York’s taxpayers, give $15,600 to every illegal alien in the state.

Speaking of taxpayers, there are those who are blissfully unaware of what effect Biden’s multiple trillion-dollar bills will have on their personal economy. To them, inflation is just one of those boring words that has something to do with the state of the nation’s economy, nothing to do with their purses and wallets.

That’s how Germans felt about it until the day they began using pushcarts to carry enough deutschmarks to the bakery to buy a loaf of bread.

That’s how Venezuelans felt about it until the day even the loaves of bread disappeared.


I was recently alerted to the fact that if you Google George Floyd, you will find him identified as a hip-hop artist.

Perhaps if I took up a life of crime, even at my advanced age, they would identify me as the composer and concert pianist I always wanted to be.


Colette Spangenberger shared my favorite meme of the day: “The illegal aliens will do the jobs Americans won’t do, such as voting for Democrats.”


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