The Patriot Post® · Risks and Rewards: Babies, Families, and Networks
By Douglas Daugherty
“He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.” —Muhammad Ali
“The potential possibilities of any child are the most intriguing and stimulating in all creation.” —Ray L. Wilbur, third president of Stanford
Life is full of risks. Life can also be full of good, even great, sometimes miraculous things. Some of these can be rewards for taking risks.
In the world of investing there is a positive correlation between the amount of risk and the potential for return. Generally, a lower risk investment (municipal bonds or CDs, for instance) has a lower potential for profit.
I have been struck by the declining birth rate in the developed nations reported recently. In the U.S. the Center for Disease Control reports that the 2020 fertility rate for women 15-44 has dropped to 1.64 children. The replacement rate for the existing population is roughly 2.1 children. (The U.S. population only grows because of immigration.)
Let’s look at some data.
First. Risks.
There are over six million auto accidents each year. 48 million Americans get food poisoning each year. The EPA estimates that 63 million Americans are exposed to unsafe drinking water. Over three million new chainsaws are sold each year in the U.S.
Accidents are the number three cause of death in the U.S., according to the CDC. 173,040 died from accidents in 2019. But heart disease killed 659,04 and Cancer took 599,601.
3.5 million children 14 and under are hurt each year playing recreational sports. About 500,000 children each year under the age of 14 are injured on playgrounds.
But do we stop driving, or eating, or drinking unfiltered water? (Scientists will tell you that the water that comes from the Tennessee River after treatment is more pure than most bottled water. Surprise!) Do we forbid children to play all sports or stop them from getting on the playground?
No. We don’t. At least the overwhelming majority don’t. We drive, eat and drink water knowing the risks. We use chainsaws and lawnmowers. We handle knives, picks, and axes. We camp out in temperatures and climates that could kill.
Why go to the top of Mount Everest? Over 4000 people have summited. 305 people have died attempting to do so. Why? There are 35,000 licensed skydivers in the U.S. Why? There are two kited guys I have been watching the last few weeks jumping off Signal Mountain with a gasoline engine and a propeller strapped to their back. Why?
The risk is worth the reward…to them.
Pregnancy is risky. One in eight pregnancies end in miscarriage before 24 weeks gestation. There is even a small risk in giving birth. According to the CDC there are 17.4 maternal deaths per every 100,000 births.
None of this data wanders into the whole conflict over abortion; itself deadly for the child and risky for the mother.
But people delight in young children.
Young couples go through a sort of hell with many newborns. They are deprived of sleep and ruined schedules and adapting to disregardable screams. But the hormones flow, the bonding occurs and some of our most precious moments are rocking little babies.
Large periods of our lives, if we have children, are governed by the “child imperative.” They come first. Parents go to extremes to protect, nourish, and educate their children. Grandparents chip in and many move across the country or around the world to be near them in retirement years. (According to one article, 25% of retiring baby boomers are relocating to be near their grandchildren.)
Our local, state, and federal government tax us to see that children under 18 receive an education. This is not to mention the amount of tax dollars spent on direct aid. (I couldn’t find an amount in my research.) Obviously, Americans think children are important…very important.
In different times, children were needed to keep the family going on the farm or business, some still are. It is not uncommon to hear stories of children working and contributing their earnings to the family budget in leaner times.
In the Bible, children are called a “gift of God.”
Yet, children cost an average of $233,610 to the age of 18, from a middle-income family with two children of about $12,980.00 a year. (The Plutus Foundation.) More if you adopt. And that says nothing of college, grad schools or even more advanced degrees, cars, travel, vacations, hobbies, pets, and on and on. Children are a huge cost.
But there is the potential for a huge reward. When they’re tiny, they can be precious. When they’re in their school years they can be a father’s delight. When teenagers…well we won’t go into that. And when they’re grown, they may become your best friend. And when you’re aged and infirm, they may become your caregivers. (One estimate says 40.4 million children provide unpaid care for their aged parents 65 or older. Pewresearch.org.)
But people keep having children, even though, and it’s a bit of a mystery as to why fewer adults are having fewer children. (It is interesting to note that religious people have larger families. Atheist and Agnostics have much smaller families. Why would that be?) Reasons are given that more women are waiting later to have children. True. That people are looking at the cost of children and childcare. Also, true. But there is a seeming change in many Americans’ mindset.
But I would like to point to some other data.
Children are your biggest opportunity to shape the future of the world. They are your arrows over the horizon. Many say children are your number one legacy. Many say the greatest delight of their life and most fulfilling moment have to do with their children. So many of our friends tell us about the “empty nest” syndrome. The bond can be stronger than the will to live. Many parents and grandparents, even strangers, will give their lives for a child. One study from the University of Oxford, reports that grandparents who spend time with their grandchildren are happier and live about seven years longer on average, and grandchildren who spend quality time with grandparents are happier and less likely to be depressed!
But back to risks. Children don’t always “turn out” well. You can’t see into the future. This is extremely risky. Every hardened criminal had a mother and a father.
No risk. No reward of family, either potential or actual. Rewards can be both emotional and practical. There is not much legacy for the vast majority of people without families. What was, does not live on in any visible way for most people, but are merely collections of memories.
Let me interrupt with some interesting information. 80% of ALL businesses in the United States are in some form a family enterprise. 80%. That’s amazing. First jobs, colleges and careers can often be the result of family, extended family, or the family’s network of friends. Pretty amazing. Think about it. My first two jobs were the direct result of an ask by my parents. And my friends in the counseling business tell me that the greatest indicator of recovery from substance abuse or incarceration is the strength of their network. Statistics also tell us that marriages without children divorce more often than marriages with children.
This brief essay skips over many questions about parenting and poor and broken families, but the intent is to point at the value of risk, especially the value of risk having children.
A robust, close family may be the best chance for most people to grow, love well, build a legacy and pass assets/wealth to the next generation, and feel safe and confident in old age.
Part with a Smile!
Watch the “Failure to Launch” trailer.