Finally, a climate solution we’ve all been looking for. According to a report from National Geographic’s Jennifer S. Holland, “[T]he dung beetle, with its sordid habit of laying eggs in and eating cow poo, might just be a weapon in the battle against global warming.” We’ll spare the details of the dung-digger’s process, but a University of Helsinki study revealed that cow patties containing the insect “released nearly 40 percent less methane over a summer period than beetle-free cowpats did.” But the dung beetle is in decline – thanks, of course, to evil humans artificially spreading anti-parasitic chemicals in pastures. The article, naturally, fails to even mention the fact that global warming – conveniently changed to “climate change” to fit uniformly with recent natural trends – has plateaued.

On that note, The Telegraph reports, “There has been a 60 per cent increase in the amount of [Arctic] ocean covered with ice compared to this time last year, the equivalent of almost a million square miles.” In response, many scientists are now arguing that a period of global cooling is forthcoming, which could continue until mid-century.

If this sounds hugely contrary to previous prognostications, that’s because it is. Consider this report by the BBC from December 2007: “Scientists in the US have presented one of the most dramatic forecasts yet for the disappearance of Arctic sea ice. Their latest modeling studies indicate northern polar waters could be ice-free in summers within just 5-6 years.” In other words, we should have had an ice-free Arctic by this summer. Yet, here we are, and environmentalists are left once again scratching their heads for an explanation of what went wrong with their manufactured crisis. Before you know it, they’ll be blaming the Syrian conflict on global warming. Oh, wait…