Note: I had written this to the editor of the local paper back when the Defense of Marriage Act was being considered.

Why should we have to defend marriage? It should have never come to this. Marriage is, and has always been, the source of all life, and provided the reason to continue to live with purpose and goals in mind.

Responsibility is learned from two loving parents. What we do, or don’t do, is affected by what we think our parents will think about our choices. Will it make them proud of us, or disappointed in us?

I cannot imagine a life, city, state, country, or world where marriage is not the source of inspiration, values, morals, and the wanting to lead a responsible life.

I had often wondered why there was that long section in the book of I Chronicles in the Bible with the list of all those names. After much thought, I have determined that it is given to us as a reason to be married; as a reason to continue the tradition, the necessity of marriage, to enable this world to continue in the way it always has – generation by generation. The marriage of a man and woman results in the continuation of life. Marriages of a man and woman which do not result in children still provides all of us with examples for others to follow, as far as being responsible, honest, fair, committed, caring, loving, loyal, and happy, as a result. It is not things which make one happy. It is making someone else happy which makes us happy.

The American Indians had a philosophy about life that nothing is ever done until the impact on the next seven generations is considered. Today, we only care about our life of an average of seven decades. We stay married, if we get married, for an average of seven years. We stay on diets for seven months. We plan ahead for only seven weeks. We are happy for only seven days in a row. We lose interest in something after seven minutes. And we forget the name of someone, we just met, after seven seconds.

Seven generations! I realize that for American Indians, that might have spanned less than 200 years, but 200 years is a long time. For some odd reason we worry about the sun dying-out in a billion years, more than we do our family heritage dying out in 70, or less.

What kind of government would we have if marriage and families were not the foundation of our country? We would have a nation of laws – laws which would only last for one generation because after that no one who made the original ones would be around, nor would they have any relatives around who could, or would, care. Therefore, each generation – wherever they might come from – test tubes, artificial insemination, or “mistakes” – would be free to make up their own, short-sighted, short-lived, laws.

There are a lot of different nationalities living within America today, but America is not living within them. Since America was founded as a country, it has been the institution of marriage, and the raising of families, which has given this country the stimulus, motivation, and reason to grow, thrive, and continue. Living a lifestyle, which has an end in sight, does not inspire, nor motivate, much long-term planning, nor caring about the future. The marriage of a man and woman is, from the onset, continually concerned with not only the present, but the future. It is the future which is looked forward to. Living together for the rest of their lives; raising a family, who, hopefully, will get married and raise a family of their own; and growing old together, and not alone because the memories and family will continue to support each other.

Life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness, have always formed families, and not individuals, because it was from families which that life began. Liberty meant that we were free from tyranny and bondage, but not free to do whatever we wanted. It has always been the internal “laws” passed onto us by our parents which directed our behavior; not laws by judges who seem to think/believe that one person’s opinion is more important than the majorities’, or even their elected representatives. Without traditional marriages, and their core values and beliefs, which are passed down to each generation, why even care about things like morality, right or wrong, or the effects of lifestyles which shorten life, and lessen the concern about the future because no one you are related to will be there.

I watched with both admiration (for those in favor of), and disbelief (for those against) the “discussion” concerning the passage of the Defense of Marriage Act Amendment to the Constitution. Those in favor of only the marriage of a man and woman being recognized as the only definition of a legal marriage, gave many well-supported and well-researched facts about why the marriage of a man and woman is so important to both our society, and why the redefining of marriage, has caused, and will continue to cause, numerous problems, here, as it has everywhere else in the world where it has been tried.

Those against the proposed amendment to the Constitution’s only “defense” of both their opposition and position on the matter was that it was not a good time to do so! I am getting really upset with those in government who only want to postpone things until they can get the credit for something, or when others can receive the blame, or when they are in “control.” I saw no reason why the amendment could not be passed because then it would have been up to the people (¾ of the states) to approve of it. What a radical thought – to have the people and not some representative who is not really representing them, decide what is the right thing to do.

I believe there are too many in government who believe that government, and not a majority of the people, are the only ones who know what is best for us, or that in reality, they really don’t care what we think or believe. Nothing could be further from the truth. When a representative for us is elected, their job is to represent everyone, and not just those who have paid for that person’s election, have the most influential special interest group, or who belong to the same political party.

In the current legal environment it only takes one person to bring a challenge to our current laws, and only one court to reinterpret it to their own way of thinking, and not the original way intended by our Founding Fathers, who, by the way, all came from families composed of both a Father and a Mother.

There has been much criticism of traditional marriages, and it has been pointed out repeatedly, that only about 50% of marriages succeed. My response to this would be that if as much time, effort, concern, money, and promotion were put into the newspapers, news shows, television shows, movies, and literature, praising traditional marriages as there was into tearing it down and advocating alternative lifestyles, and the pursuit of sex instead of love, marriage success rates would be a lot more than 50%. To survive under the current environment of anti-marriage thinking is really quite remarkable, so 50% shows just how strongly we feel about it.

We have a choice, and that choice can be to make our feelings known about how we think our society should act, and how we believe we should continue for more than one generation…for more than seven generations. One way is to stay married. Another is to realize that not everyone can get everything they want. With rights come responsibilities, and there is no greater responsibility than being married and raising children. I sometimes feel that our country has raised several generations of spoiled children who think they can have everything they want, except our time, and that is why we have given them things – so we do not feel guilty…and so when they grow up they still feel they can have everything they want because someone else has it. Life is not always fair because if it were, it wouldn’t be fair. When we care about the importance of the marriage of a man and wife and the lives that come about as a result of it, we show that we also care about the future, and that is really what the defense of marriage amendment is all about.

I am 63-years-old, have been married for 34 years, and have 2 daughters. I have always been interested in politics and the history of this country. My three main loves are God, my family, and America.