The Foundation

“[G]overnment, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one; for when we suffer or are exposed to the same miseries by a government, which we might expect in a country without government, our calamity is heightened by reflecting that we furnish the means by which we suffer.” –Thomas Paine

Government & Politics

Hope ‘n’ Change: The Side Effects of ObamaCare

The true scope of ObamaCare’s side effects continued to be divulged this week with the revelation of some little-known provisions in the law. The lab tests are back, and the prognosis isn’t good.

First, Section 9006 will force businesses to issue 1099 tax forms to any individual or corporation from which they buy more than $600 in goods or services in a tax year. Currently Forms 1099 are received by independent contractors and freelancers to document income beyond wages and salaries for work they perform for businesses and clients. Starting on Jan. 1, 2012, these forms will have to be issued not just to individuals, but to corporations as well. If a freelancer purchases any good or service worth more than $600, they must issue a 1099 to the business from which they made the purchase. This provision encompasses just a few lines in the 2,400-page law, but it will add millions of new tax documents to each year’s reporting.

Democrats defended the move based on their belief that it will put an end to some $300 billion per year in unreported income. Just think of all the tax revenue! Demos claim that this revenue will help fund continued tax cuts for small businesses. What they purposefully ignore is that the more complex the tax system grows, the more difficult and expensive it becomes to do business.

Meanwhile, the provision that allows adult “children” to remain on their parents’ health insurance plan until age 26 has a surprise of its own. An estimated 1.2 million young adults are expected to join these plans after Sept. 23, and the Health and Human Services Department noted that premiums for the employers of those parents would rise about one percent in 2011 as a result. That’s on top of the 6 to 7 percent hike that employers are already expecting next year. Furthermore, coverage for young adults must be offered at the same level as for that of other dependents. They can neither be charged more, nor receive a lower level of benefits. Parents who purchase insurance for their adult children in the open market can expect to pay an additional $2,300 in premiums next year.

Finally, the Congressional Budget Office announced that the health care plan will actually cost at least $115 billion more than estimated when it was signed into law. This pushes the law’s total cost well above $1 trillion over 10 years (though “unofficial” estimates are as high as $3.5 trillion) and erases the $100 billion in deficit “savings” that Barack Obama bragged about during the legislative debate. The CBO’s adjustment is necessary because Democrats didn’t include real numbers in various portions of the law that include administrative costs for actually implementing the program. Any figures the bill’s authors didn’t know at the time were simply replaced with the phrase “as needed.” The CBO has since had a chance to score these nebulous elements, and the president’s own budget office has told Congress to offset these new costs with spending cuts or tax increases. Gee, which option will they choose?

Obama audaciously issued a veto threat for any portion of the bill that comes in above the original cost estimate. Since we surely couldn’t believe him when he claimed that his health care takeover would actually save the country money, why would we begin to believe that he would veto any portion of legislation upon which he staked his political future?

Given all this, and given the many as-yet undiagnosed side-effects sure to come, we humbly suggest that the following FDA-type warning be read each time an Obama official mentions its crowning legislative achievement: Taking Hope ‘n’ Change may cause bloated budgets, irritated politics, nausea and heartburn. Unexplained costs could be a sign of a common but serious side effect of unbridled socialism.

New & Notable Legislation

The climate change bill, better known as cap-and-tax, was unveiled this week in the Senate. Sens. John Kerry (D-MA) and Joe Lieberman (I-CT) are still determined to push this idiocy even though South Carolina Republican Lindsey Graham recently walked away from the compromise they had crafted over the course of several months. The bill would tax large emitters of carbon emissions at $12 per ton, and it includes a mish-mash of regulations and subsidies for industries and transportation systems. Kerry and Lieberman yanked out the provision that called for expanding offshore drilling, hoping to make it more attractive in the wake of the Gulf oil spill. Investor’s Business Daily has a chart of new programs, studies and reports created by Kerry-Lieberman. It’s extensive. Without Graham on board, though, the bill won’t find nearly the support it could have previously received, so chances for passage are much slimmer.

Barack Obama has called for legislation that would raise the cap on damages for which oil companies such as BP would be responsible in the event of a spill or other accident. Currently at $75 million, bills in the House and Senate would raise the cap to $10 billion. Fortunately, Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-AK) blocked the Senate bill Thursday. But the president also wants to punish BP and other oil companies with an unconstitutionally retroactive one-cent-per-barrel tax hike to help pay for the cleanup of the Gulf. Of course, we all know who will pay that tax in the end – consumers at the gas pump.

Republicans are vigorously fighting Democrat attempts to restrict free speech by nullifying the Supreme Court’s recent Citizens United decision that struck down certain corporate restrictions on political campaign advertising. The Democracy is Strengthened by Casting Light on Spending in Elections (DISCLOSE) Act, which has been introduced in the House and Senate, seeks to force corporations and major donors to make on-air endorsements of political ads they fund. The bill would also place new measures on coordination of candidates and outside supporters.

In a frightening assault upon law-abiding citizens exercising their constitutional right to free speech and assembly, the Terrorist Expatriation Act (and here we thought TEA stood for “Taxed Enough Already”) was introduced in the House and Senate, stirring a vigorous debate that blurs the customary partisan lines on the issue. The bill, which has bipartisan sponsorship in both chambers, would allow the government to revoke the citizenship of Americans who ally themselves with “terrorist organizations.”

Supporters indicate that any American who signs up with a “terrorist group” basically rescinds his rights as a citizen in any event. Of course, why then should they be Mirandized? Revoking citizenship would block American “terror suspects” from (legally) re-entering the United States, and it would also make them eligible for military rather than civilian prosecution just when the Obama administration is moving real non-citizen terrorists into civilian courts. Concerns have arisen about the constitutionality of the measure, and skeptics believe that suspects would need to be convicted of a crime before their citizenship could be revoked. Since the Obama administration has already labeled conservative groups as “terrorist organizations,” TEA partiers and the like should check their visas.

Incumbent Sen. Bennett Gets the Gate

Last weekend, Utah Republicans demonstrated that they aren’t afraid to cut one of their own loose when he strays from the ideals of the party. Republican incumbent Sen. Robert Bennett lost his chance for re-election when he was defeated at the GOP state caucus by two candidates supported by conservative groups – or should we say “terrorist organizations”?

The Leftmedia went apoplectic to spin the story as indicative of a Republican party intolerant of those who reach out across the aisle. The reality, however, is that Bennett has become part of the Washington big-government machine. He supported TARP and co-sponsored a health care bill similar to ObamaCare, two measures which Bennett himself admitted “added to a toxic environment.”

The three-term senator didn’t go down without a fight, however, playing up his role on the Appropriations Committee and spending $3 million on his campaign. At the end of the day, conservative groups such as Freedom Works, Club for Growth and Tea Partiers more accurately represented the will of a people grown tired of ever-expanding government and the obscene spending that inevitably accompanies it.

Businessman Tim Bridgewater took the lead at the convention and will face off against attorney Mike Lee in the June 22 primary. Lee served as general counsel for former Utah Gov. John Huntsman and clerked for Justice Samuel Alito. “We’re ready to end the era [of] thinking that the federal government can be all things to all people,” Lee stated, “that it can solve all the world’s problems. It can’t, it doesn’t. It never will.”

Crist to Keep Campaign Cash

“Gov. Charlie Crist told MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough on April 30 that he would ‘probably’ give refunds to donors who don’t approve of him leaving the GOP,” reports the St. Petersburg Times. “Some donors to his U.S. Senate campaign were told before the switch that they would get their money back or pro-rated refunds. No more.”

Campaign spokeswoman Michelle Todd announced this week that there won’t be any refunds. She explained the flip-flop this way: “We have never made an official statement before. It is now the official statement. They donated to the Charlie Crist for U.S. Senate Campaign, and it’s still the Charlie Crist for U.S. Senate Campaign.” Crist does have the legal right to hang onto the money, but it sure seems sleazy and desperate. Perhaps the spigots are about to run dry.

West Virginia Democrat Mollohan Loses Primary

“Rep. Alan Mollohan, a 14-term incumbent, has been defeated by state Sen. Mike Oliverio in West Virginia’s Democratic primary,” Politico reports. “With 97 percent of the vote in, Oliverio led Mollohan 56 percent to 44 percent.” For voters in a coal state, Mollohan’s reluctance to oppose cap-n-tax last year – even though he eventually voted against the bill – was a liability. Mollohan also came under fire from pro-life groups over his support of ObamaCare. Like Bob Bennett in Utah, Mollohan held the seat previously occupied by his father.

The Associated Press notes, “The defeat sets up a general election battle this fall in which both Oliverio and Republican primary winner, former state GOP chairman David McKinley, will try to position themselves as fiscal conservatives and foes of big government. Both had made federal spending a key issue in the primary.” McKinley, of course, says it’s about more than spending. “People just didn’t like what was happening in Washington,” he said. “The outcome is a referendum on Obama’s policies, from bailouts of banks and takeovers of car companies to health care reform. It’s clear this is not the agenda [voters] wanted. This wasn’t the change they envisioned.”

In Hawaii, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC) is pulling out of the special House election, basically conceding the seat to the Republican, Charles Djou. The DCCC favors former Rep. Ed Case, while Hawaii’s two senators back Colleen Hanabusa, creating a split that appears irreconcilable before the election. Instead, the DCCC will focus on November, when they stand a better chance of unseating Djou, should he prevail on Tuesday.

Razorback Replay

Arkansas voters will cast primary ballots this coming Tuesday. At stake are the nominations for U.S. Senate. A recent Arkansas News Bureau/Stephens Media poll shows anti-incumbent fever is alive and well in Razorback country, but, in a replay of the Indiana primary two weeks ago, Republicans will choose among top-down establishment candidate John Boozman, establishment stalking horse Gilbert Baker, and dyed-in-the-wool conservative Jim Holt, along with various conservative small fries.

The poll shows Boozman with the lead, Holt comfortably in second place, Baker a distant third, 15 percent undecided, and the others in single digits. Unlike the Indiana primary, where 60 percent of Hoosier Republicans voted against plurality winner Dan Coats, if no one garners more than 50 percent in Arkansas, then a runoff will occur between the top two vote getters.

Holt’s record as a proven limited-government taxpayer advocate versus Boozman’s well-established vote for spending increases and earmarks should bode well in a runoff. With establishment Republican funding channeled to Boozman and Baker, Holt is an underdog in money and is reliant upon volunteers.

On the Leftist side, incumbent Blanche Lincoln is in the fight of her career against fellow Democrat Bill Halter. While Lincoln leads Halter, her pathetic poll showings indicate that Halter has a good chance at pulling off an upset.

National Security

Warfront With Jihadistan: A Minor Story?

Here’s some news that may not have reached you: Mullah Omar has been captured. Omar is a Taliban founder and leader, and a top ally of Osama bin Laden, but based on the lack of national news coverage, you might think he was just a low-level grunt. The State Department had a bounty of up to $10 million on Omar for sheltering bin Laden before, during and after 9/11. As Jed Babbin, a former Air Force officer who served as a deputy undersecretary of defense in the George H. W. Bush administration, writes, “The reported Pakistani capture of Taliban founder and overall leader Mullah Omar is potentially a game changing event in the Afghanistan war, with profound implications for the stabilization of Pakistan.”

Not only could Omar provide information that would decimate – at least temporarily – the Taliban, but he also could reveal the extent to which Iran has supported it. However, as Babbin argues, “[W]e need to get the Pakistanis to delay giving him into US custody. That is contrary to our normal instincts, but this man – taken alive and brought to any US detention facility other than Guantanamo Bay – would be Mirandized and pushed into the civilian criminal justice system where he, and his ilk, manifestly don’t belong. We would be forfeiting months of probable success in interrogating him.” Actionable intelligence is key, so we have little time to lose.

Department of Military Readiness: Fewer Anchors Aweigh

It has always been the Left’s dream to disarm the United States and redistribute to their various constituency groups the money thus “saved.” That dream is apparently coming true. Defense Secretary Robert Gates, who is responsible for ensuring that the U.S. military can protect the nation from all potential enemies, recently told the Navy League that we “don’t necessarily need a billion-dollar guided missile destroyer to chase down and deal with a bunch of teenage pirates wielding AK-47s and RPGs.” Which would be true, if rowdy teenagers were the only naval threat. But sadly, it appears that Gates, at one time a highly respected intelligence and defense official, has drunk the Obama Kool-Aid. Unbelievably, Gates also said, “At the end of the day, we have to ask whether this nation can really afford a Navy that relies on $3 billion to $6 billion destroyers, $7 billion submarines and $11 billion carriers.” Since when has the Obama regime, which tosses around trillions of dollars like Monopoly money, cared how much something costs?

Following on the heels of the canceled F-22 Raptor program, a stripped-down missile defense program, and cancellation of nuclear arsenal modernization, this is another clear signal that Obama intends to gut constitutionally mandated defense spending in order to fund his vision of an unconstitutional and socially “just” utopia. The Chinese dragon must be licking its chops.

Profiles of Valor: Medal for Restraint

This isn’t our usual Profiles of Valor piece. Instead, we highlight a proposal that would award medals to soldiers for not firing at the enemy in certain situations. The award for “courageous restraint” would be given when a soldier holds fire – at his own risk – to save civilian lives. Sounds like receiving a last place trophy or an award for being just a spectator.

“The idea is consistent with our approach,” explained Air Force Lt. Col. Tadd Sholtis. “Our young men and women display remarkable courage every day, including situations where they refrain from using lethal force, even at risk to themselves, in order to prevent possible harm to civilians. In some situations our forces face in Afghanistan, that restraint is an act of discipline and courage not much different than those seen in combat actions.” On the other hand, Sholtis said, “Valuing restraint in a potentially dangerous situation is not the same thing as denying troops the right to employ lethal force when they determine that it is necessary.”

Unfortunately, overly strict rules of engagement have already cost too many American lives and have extended both the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq beyond what might otherwise have been necessary. Furthermore, Joe Davis, a spokesman for the Veterans of Foreign Wars, warned, “The enemy already hides among noncombatants and targets them, too. The creation of such an award will only embolden their actions and put more American and noncombatant lives in jeopardy. Let’s not rush to create something that no one wants to present posthumously.”

Armed Forces Day

Armed Forces Day is Saturday, May 15. We remain the proud and the free because these Patriots – American Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines and Coastguardsmen – have stood bravely in harm’s way and remain on post today. For this, we, the American people, offer our heartfelt thanks and prayers for you and your families.

The Patriot is proud to be one of the nation’s leading advocates for our Armed Forces and their mission – not only by providing countless Americans with the right perspective on that mission and the demanding tasks our military personnel have carried out with unfailing courage and professionalism, but also through efforts such as our Profiles of Valor, Support and Defend pages, Operation Shield of Strength and the Patriot Shop, which carries an extensive collection of products bearing official military insignia, the proceeds of which support our mission of service to our Armed Forces.

Immigration Front: DMV Helping Illegals

In the midst of absurd liberal cries of Nazism following the passage of the new Arizona immigration law, four employees of the California Department of Motor Vehicles were arrested for conspiring to sell false driver’s licenses and registrations to, among others, illegal immigrants. They were charged with grand theft, illegal computer access, bribery, and using documents to conceal immigration status, but perhaps they should be thanked for exposing yet another troubling aspect of illegal immigration. These DMV employees, no doubt, were not going to do background checks on those to whom they were issuing falsified documents – whether those who had come to the U.S. to work, or those who had come here to conspire against us.

Business & Economy

Income Redistribution: Big Fat Greek Bailout

After crusading for an $800 billion “stimulus” bill in 2009 and ramming through a trillion-dollar health care overhaul in 2010, the Obama administration wants to spend yet more of your money – in Greece. Entitlement-mania in that nation has cost more drachmas than it could raise in the next 50 years, and the U.S. Spender-in-Chief wants to lend a hand – yours. Here’s how: Of the $145 billion Greek bailout passed early this month, $40 billion will come from the International Monetary Fund. And guess where the IMF receives a big chunk of its money? You, again. Economist Stephen Moore writes, “Last year, the Obama administration muscled through a new authorization of $100 billion in funding for the IMF.” So first, the Obama administration pushed to fund the IMF; then, it pushed to bail out Greece using IMF funding. Welcome to Obamanomics.

Fed up with the fiscal insanity, 45 House Republicans have signed a letter urging Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner to prevent American tax dollars from supporting the bailout. Tellingly, no Democrats signed the letter.

The spendthrifts in Washington may not “get it,” but our friends across the Pond apparently do. Explaining Britain’s refusal to help fund the bailout, British Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling stated, “When it comes to supporting the euro, that is for the eurogroup countries.” What a thought.

U.S. Debt Rating Precarious

Like the Sword of Damocles hanging over our collective heads, the national debt stands ready to cleave the central government’s fiscal credit ratings. It’s no longer a question of “if” the government’s credit rating will be reduced to the same junk bond level as Greece’s, but merely a question of “when.” While there is no bright line to notify the government how much debt is too much, what is certain is that investors will soon command higher yields for holding risky U.S. debt instruments. When that happens, the federal government will be forced to pay much, much more to continue borrowing more money than it takes in.

Moody’s Investors Service sovereign ratings analysis is shining much needed sunlight to disinfect our government’s spending problem. Their analysis suggests that the federal government’s credit score will be severely downgraded somewhere between 2013 and 2018. The key indicator for Moody’s is the point at which the interest paid by the government for existing debt hits 18 to 20 percent of federal revenue, the government will lose its AAA rating. Under the rosiest of scenarios predicted by the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) for Barack Obama’s budget, interest will top 18 percent of revenue by 2018 and 20 percent by 2020. Under more adverse scenarios than the narrow factors CBO considered, including higher interest rates, Moody’s projects interest may hit 22.4 percent by as soon as 2013.

Rather than waiting for re-evaluation by Moody’s, investors may instead choose to punish the government and trigger an increase in rates in advance of any ratings changes. As long as Democrats remain in charge of the government, we can predict their response will be no different from what precedes: Raise taxes instead of cut spending. That and regulating with newly introduced legislation independent credit rating agencies like Moody’s so that they can’t downgrade the U.S.‘s rating.

Regulatory Commissars: FCC Goes Forward Into the Past

The argument over the concept of “net neutrality” has raged for years now. While Congress has unsuccessfully attempted to take on the regulatory aspect itself, the unelected bureaucrats at the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) breezed through the stack of public comments it solicited on the issue (having just closed the comment period last week) and decided to change course and move forward with a policy to reclassify Internet service providers as common carriers and regulate Internet access under Title II of the Communications Act.

In doing so, the FCC is circumventing both Congress, which has not authorized the FCC to regulate broadband Internet, and an appeals court ruling that the agency couldn’t exert complete regulatory control. Furthermore, the Supreme Court has said that an agency “literally has no power to act – unless and until Congress confers power upon it.”

Ironically, as former Solicitor General Gregory Garre writes, “Less than five years ago in the so-called Brand X case, the FCC successfully defended all the way to the Supreme Court its interpretation that Internet service providers are 'information service providers’ – and not common carriers subject to regulation under Title II of the Act.” Why the change of tune now?

Opponents such as Comcast and AT&T predict that the push to enforce Title II restrictions selectively will dry up capital investment in broadband, as content users would enjoy free and limitless access to the infrastructure their companies invested in, at the expense of other smaller customers. So much for keeping the Internet free from government meddling. The Pandora’s Box of FCC regulation has been opened.

Culture & Policy

Around the Nation: The 9/11 Mosque

A new structure is set to rise at Ground Zero in New York City. However, it’s not a memorial to the thousands brutally murdered there in 2001 by Islamic extremists, and it’s not an office building to house revitalized American business. No, it’s a mosque. Writing for Family Security Matters, Gary Adelman notes that the Community Board of Lower Manhattan unanimously approved the construction of a 13-story, $100 million mosque and community center just two blocks from where the World Trade Center stood. Beyond boasting questionable funding sources, the project – proposed by the American Society for Muslim Advancement (ASMA) and its sister organization, the Cordoba Initiative – shows complete disregard for the lives taken on September 11, and for those left behind.

Rosemary Cain, whose firefighter son George Cain was killed on 9/11, described the project as “a slap in the face. I think it’s despicable. That’s sacred ground. How could anybody give them permission to build a mosque there? It tarnishes the area.” Retired FDNY Deputy Chief Jim Riches, who son Jim – also a firefighter – died in the attacks, stated, “I realize it’s not all of them, but I don’t want to have to go down to a memorial where my son died on 9/11 and look at a mosque. If you ask me, it’s a religion of hate.”

Adelman asks, “Have we lost our minds so much that we have moved to erecting monuments to perpetrators and not victims?” With this project, it seems, we have our answer.

Faith and Family: Jesus as Humorist

The folks at Comedy Central recently censored an episode of “South Park” after threats from Islamic groups angered by images of the prophet Muhammad. Lest you think the network has gone soft, it’s now pitching a comedy series starring Jesus Christ. There were no riots or death threats, of course, as Christians express their objections in other ways. Indeed, was there ever a doubt as to which is truly the religion of peace?

“JC,” as the show is called, depicts Christ as having an “apathetic” Father and places Him in New York City as a man just trying to live an average life. While the show is still in the development stage, it’s obvious that a show depicting God as preoccupied with playing video games and otherwise making Christianity the butt of jokes makes it, well, pretty much typical of everything else Hollywood is putting out. No debut date has been slated for the half-hour show, but we already know we’re busy that day.

Village Academic Curriculum: Segregated Field Trip

An Ann Arbor, Michigan, elementary school principal is under fire after a school field trip in which students traveled to hear a rocket scientist, who encouraged the students that they could achieve similar success in life. The problem was, only black students got to go on the field trip. To make matters worse, Dicken Elementary School Principal Mike Madison, who organized the field trip and the all-black “Lunch Bunch” program, dropped in on a classroom afterward to berate and bully the non-black fifth-graders who had expressed their displeasure at having been excluded.

Then Madison wrote a letter to parents defending the trip, and his actions afterward: “In hindsight, this field trip could have been approached and arranged in a better way. But as I reflect upon the look of excitement, enthusiasm and energy that I saw in these children’s eyes as they stood in the presence of a renowned African American rocket scientist in a very successful position, it gave the kids an opportunity to see this type of achievement is possible for even them.”

Furthermore, he wrote, “The intent of our field trip was not to segregate or exclude students…” Even though that was, in fact, what happened. All this is despicable, of course, but to liberals, intentions outweigh any other consideration.

Knoxville Murder Update

On Thursday, a Knoxville jury found Vanessa Coleman guilty of four counts of facilitation of first-degree felony murder of Channon Christian in January 2007. Christian and her boyfriend Christopher Newsom were car-jacked and then brutally raped and murdered. The jury also found Coleman guilty of one count of facilitation of premeditated first-degree murder, two counts of facilitation of especially aggravated rape, nine counts of facilitation of aggravated rape, and one count of facilitation of theft of property belonging to Christian. The jury found Coleman not guilty of any charges related to the murder of Newsom. None of the charges carry the death penalty.

Coleman was the final defendant in the case. George Thomas was convicted in December 2009 and faces life in prison without parole, Letalvis Cobbins likewise faces a life sentence after an August conviction, and ringleader Lemaricus Davidson was sentenced to death after his October trial. We cringe to think that three of these sick criminals won’t be removed from the planet, but perhaps the Newsom and Christian families will find some solace in what justice was done.

Mojave Cross Stolen

The Mojave War Memorial Cross at the center of a recent Supreme Court decision has been stolen. The Court ruled last month that, after years of litigation, the cross could stay because it did not violate the First Amendment prohibition on “establishing” religion. Late Sunday or early Monday, thieves stole the seven-foot-high metal cross. According to the Associated Press, “Authorities had no immediate motive for the theft, but … possible suspects ranged from scrap metal scavengers to people ‘with an interest in the case.’” Ya think? The Veterans of Foreign Wars, which first placed a wooden cross on the rock in 1934, has pledged to replace the memorial as soon as possible.

And Last…

Hillary Clinton has yet to retire all of her debt from her failed 2008 presidential bid. Now, according to the London Times, “Bill Clinton believes that he has come up with a better method to wipe out the financial obligations outstanding from his wife’s failed presidential bid. He is raffling himself.” So, for the second time this year, Bill asks, “How would you like the chance to come up to New York and spend the day with me?” A donation of as little as $5 will buy you a raffle ticket. The Times notes, “By 2007, seven years after leaving the White House, the Clintons had earned a combined $109 million through speaking engagements and bestselling memoirs. Even so, apparently they would prefer American voters to settle Mrs Clinton’s remaining $771,000 debt rather than paying it themselves.”

Of course, it could be that Bill is simply lonely and looking for a cheap date. No word yet on whether the Obama administration has forbidden its female interns from entering the contest.