The White House said that Russian hackers made it into the White House’s computers last year through State Department computers. They gained access to Obama’s top-secret daily schedule. The Russians not only knew what golf course he was at, they knew what hole he was on.

Iran newspapers reported that the U.S.-Iran deal allows Iran to update plutonium plants, enrich uranium, and add centrifuges. It’s the opposite of what the New York Times said. Obama will only read the New York Times because he doesn’t like to cloud up his mind with opposing points of view.

Obama was reading a story to kids in the Rose Garden at the Easter Egg Roll when the kids started screaming as bees swarmed. He told them bees are good and won’t sting them and the kids calmed down. Then he said the same thing about Iran and the kids called child services on him.

The White House held its annual Easter Egg Roll on the South Lawn, with thousands of children and their parents in attendance. A good time was had by everyone. Joe Biden came dressed up as an Easter Bunny so that the mothers would think it was cute when he hugged them instead of creepy.

The Yale Daily News announced Biden will address Yale graduating seniors at Yale’s Class Day in New Haven. He may run for president but he has other lucrative options. Biden has a standing offer from Hollywood to play the villain in pepper spray commercials.

Obama gave a two-hour interview to the New York Times in which he insisted the nuclear framework deal he struck with Iran was the best deal for the US. Then with TV cameras rolling, the president vowed he that he will be able to catch Iran if they cheat. It’s another dig at Hillary.

Hillary Clinton leased two floors of a Brooklyn office building from a major campaign donor believed to be her future presidential campaign headquarters. Clinton political headquarters are traditionally two stories. One story you tell the New York Times, and one story you tell House investigators.

Jeb Bush admitted he screwed up when a Florida voter registration form from six years ago revealed he’d checked off the box identifying himself as Spanish. Democrats didn’t dare respond. For the last thirty-nine years, Bill Clinton has identified himself on voter registration forms as married.

Senator Ted Cruz raised four million dollars from Tea Party supporters in his first week on the presidential trail. His opponents are scrambling. Ted Cruz announced he was running for president last week, and for the first time in seven years, Democrats are concerned about verifying U.S. citizenship.

GOP candidate Rand Paul launched his presidential campaign in New Hampshire where he began detailing his Libertarian philosophy. He’s determined to teach young people the benefits of a low flat tax. The best way to teach kids about taxes is to eat forty percent of their ice cream.

CNN tried to stir up controversy by reporting that fifteen of the likely Republican candidates for president own a total of forty pistols and rifles and shotguns between them. The message is crystal clear. If you elect a Republican president, it’ll put an end to people jumping over the White House fence.

McDonald’s restaurants announced they’re introducing a clothing line for Big Mac lovers which include t-shirts, golf shirts and men and women’s pajamas with little Big Macs all over them. Of course. there are already clothes for people who love Big Macs. They’re called hospital gowns.

The British Medical Journal Lancet issued a warning about the effects of hard liquor cocktails. Vodka on ice can give you kidney failure, rum over ice can give you liver failure, whiskey on ice can cause you heart problems and rum over ice rots your brain. Apparently ice is really bad for you.

© Copyright 2015 Argus Hamilton