Toyota recalled two million Lexuses to repair carpet padding which could cause sudden acceleration. In addition, they want to double-check handling problems which can cause rollover. However on the bright side, rollovers do bring the Lexus to a stop.

Libya’s government buckled in the face of pro-democracy protesters just like Egypt and Tunisia. What a transformation. It’s a miracle to see all these countries run by ruthless, America-hating dictators change overnight into ruthless, America-hating democracies.

President Obama indicated he wants the U.S. to be a partner in democratic reform across the Middle East. It’s not easy. In a perfect world they’d all become an American-style democracy, with a government that’s based on the will of the lobbyists.

Britain threatened Moammar Khadaffi with a no-fly zone Monday and France threatened him with an arms embargo, while Germany threatened him with an economic blockade. The U.S. delivered the haymaker. President Obama threatened to nationalize his health insurance.

President Obama offered to let states opt out of health insurance requirements in his health care reform law if they design their own universal coverage. That’s generous of him to settle for his original goal of universal coverage if someone else wants to achieve it for him. Great comedians don’t care who wrote the joke as long as it gets a laugh.

Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah tried to forestall revolt by giving his subjects thirty-seven billion dollars in direct payments. It worked. He spent days handing out cash to everybody and by Wednesday morning he was the mayor of Chicago.

White House former chief of staff Rahm Emanuel was elected mayor of Chicago by a huge margin. It was the usual coalition. Emanuel carried sixty percent of the black vote, sixty-five percent of the women’s vote and one hundred percent of the deceased vote.

White House former Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel was elected mayor of Chicago last week after a coalition of unions, women and businessmen joined to support his election. The win could bring some major changes to his life. He’ll probably have to move to Chicago.

The King’s Speech captured the Oscar for Best Picture. It’s about how King George VI worked with a speech therapist to cure his impediment and give a great wartime speech. The same therapist is working with Obama to get him say that we must cut spending.

Fox News reported that employers and even police departments have begun to scan the social network profiles of job applicants they’re considering hiring. Facebook has over five hundred million users. The previous record was held by heroin.

The Gallup Poll released last Friday revealed that the most conservative state in the union is Mississippi. What do they mean, in the union? It’s the only state that filed a lawsuit against ObamaCare on the basis that the U.S. has no jurisdiction over Mississippi.

NASA scientists released research Monday showing a small nuclear war would help reverse global warming because the five million tons of carbon in the atmosphere would cool the earth. Al Gore is jumping all over this story. Iran just lost its last friend.

IBM said Tuesday its Jeopardy-champion computer Watson is not going to be used to replace an IBM scientist or IBM engineer. A company spokesman said that although Watson knows almost everything, he can’t think. So they’re going to run him for Congress.

© Copyright 2010 Argus Hamilton

Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and speaks to groups and organizations around the country. E-mail him at [email protected].