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October 15, 2011

From The Comedy Store

Columbus Day was marked with New York parades as all government offices were closed. The financial markets were open and the Dow went up three hundred points. It is the latest proof that a government shutdown could be the solution to all our problems.

Occupy Wall Street protesters entered their third week of New York park sit-ins this week following a march down Broadway. Interviews with the protesters make two things very crystal-clear. They don’t know what they want and they want it now.

Wall Street protesters remained camped out near the stock exchange. They organize marches using Apple iPhones, Facebook, and Google. They want the world to know how hard life is if they have to use every labor-saving device in the world to prove it.

Friends of the Earth protested outside Congress trying to block a proposed oil pipeline that begins in Canada and crosses into the U.S. They made the mistake of calling it a pipeline. They should have called it a tunnel and the liberals would all be defending it.

The Ides of March stars George Clooney about a Democratic presidential candidate. It is one more try from Hollywood. The writers are determined to prove that it’s possible to have a liberal and moral successful president who doesn’t smoke or come from Chicago.

The Justice Department warned California medical marijuana stores to shut down or face criminal charges even if they’re legal under California state law. The White House has no choice. The statistics claiming that eighty percent of the people living in the healthiest climate in the world are ill make the health care reform law look unaffordable.

The Justice Department reported it will begin raiding California’s medical marijuana stores. Whose side are they on? First they supply the Mexican drug cartel with automatic weapons and now they’re closing down the American stores that compete with them.

Rogue Valley Airport in Oregon announced it will sell ad space on the control tower. A company offered the airport three hundred thousand dollars to put an ad on the control tower. It sounds like a great way to raise money as long as it is not a Target ad.

Jerry Brown signed college subsidies for kids of illegal aliens. He also signed a law barring teens from tanning beds. Leave it to Democrats to subsidize brown people who want to become Americans and to stop Americans who want to become brown people.

Occupy Wall Street protesters sat in a Bank of America lobby in L.A. The bank no longer gives out easy money or free doughnuts and coffee. Cutting off the money and the food is how their parents got them to move out and it might work for Bank of America.

Columbus Day was marked with New York parades as all government offices were closed. The financial markets were open and the Dow went up three hundred points. It is the latest proof that a government shutdown could be the solution to all our problems.

California’s governor Jerry Brown signed a law which bans Californians from openly carrying a handgun. However the handgun ban carries a few exceptions. The bill exempts California hunting and shooting events, such as changing lanes on the freeway.

Chicago Marathon contestant Amber Miller gave birth right after she crossed the finish line while another runner died during the marathon. That’s the cycle of life in Chicago. People are born and people die, and no one ever sees the Cubs in the World Series.

Herman Cain spent Tuesday’s debate defending his flat tax from attack by his fellow Republicans. He’s an economic conservative. Liberal Democrats found themselves in the odd position of cheering for the six white people beating a black man in broad daylight.

© Copyright 2011 Argus Hamilton

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