The Gipper: “If all of this seems like a great deal of trouble, think what’s at stake. We are faced with the most evil enemy mankind has known in his long climb from the swamp to the stars. There can be no security anywhere in the free world if there is no fiscal and economic stability within the United States.”

For the record: “There are only 665 Planned Parenthood clinics in America, compared to 13,540 comprehensive health clinics. Defunding Planned Parenthood will in no way limit women’s access to health services. If, as Democrats falsely claim, the vast majority of women (especially women with low income) rely on Planned Parenthood for health care, then something must have gone terribly wrong with ObamaCare. Wasn’t that supposed to be their fix all?” —Tony Perkins

Excusing evil: “Shame on Carly Fiorina and all the GOP candidates for attacking Planned Parenthood, which serves nearly 3 million Americans.” —Sen. Barbara Boxer (It also murders 327,000 of them every year.)

Non Compos Mentis: “We asked our moms: ‘Have you ever had an abortion?’” —feminist TV personality Lena Dunham (Aborted babies can’t ask that question.)

The BIG Lie: “I was right when I said on day one that, as soon as [Hillary Clinton] announced, [Republicans] would be going after her 24/7. … [S]he has proven that she can stay tough through all this. And this e-mail thing is so much a baloney sandwich. I can’t even begin to tell you. … If you look at her right now, still leading by a lot, compared to Jeb Bush, who has been knocked to the bottom, you see the reservoir of faith there is in Hillary.” —Barbara Boxer

Protests too much? “I am a real person.” —Hillary Clinton

Braying Jenny: “I cannot imagine anyone would be more of an outsider than the first woman president.” —Hillary Clinton, who’s been in politics her entire adult life

Late-night humor: “Last [week’s] debate at the Reagan Library was the most watched program in CNN history. CNN said they were thrilled with the ratings but even happier they could finally show a plane that wasn’t missing.” —Conan O'Brien