“What do you mean, ‘Make America Great Again’? I’ve already done that!” That was the essence of Barack Obama’s thankfully final State of the Union Address last night. We’ve watched a lot of Obama’s speeches over the years (our humble service so that you won’t have to), and this one was particularly remarkable for his cocky, smug and hectoring tone — and that’s saying something for a petulant narcissist like him. Whether it was insisting that the economy is great or that climate change requires his solutions or that “America is the most powerful nation on Earth — period,” Obama is right and righteous, and anyone who disagrees is a lying clown. We’re only surprised he didn’t claim credit for the $1.5 billion Powerball jackpot, because Obama’s awesome, America’s great, and, oh, by the way, you’re welcome, you ingrates.

What makes the tone even more obnoxious was that he eventually got around to lecturing us about political disagreements in general. “It’s one of the few regrets of my presidency that the rancor and suspicion between the parties has gotten worse instead of better,” he lamented, as if he was an innocent bystander. Of course, he has done more to foment rancor and suspicion than any other president in history.

And then there was his parade of straw men. For example, we don’t keep America secure by “either isolating ourselves or trying to nation-build everywhere there’s a problem,” he said, outlining two positions held by exactly no one. His way, he tells us, is really the only enlightened one.

One final observation: Are we the only ones who noticed how very ticked off Michelle Obama looked throughout the speech? Is the woman ever happy?