The Right Opinion

Pretend Gun Control

By Frank J. Fleming · Jan. 14, 2013

The mood in America right now seems to be that “something” must be done about guns. Many Democrats are now openly talking about bringing back the assault weapons and high-capacity magazines ban, while they had previously shivered in fear of gun owners and the violence those heavily armed crazies commit against chads.

Of course, most of us are well aware that this “something” that will be done in the name of gun control will have pretty much no effect on whether criminals or madmen are able to get guns – and might even make these people even deadlier. For instance, the “gun-free” school zone is a victory in disarming people in the same way that getting all countries except North Korea and Iran to destroy their nuclear weapons would be a victory in nuclear disarmament. The main fallacy of gun control theory is in not realizing that criminals, by definition, don’t follow laws – they’re wily that way. Yet most gun control laws are aimed at this mythical criminal who thinks nothing of murdering people but would never dream of jaywalking. Still, people insist that we have to do something about criminals' easy access to guns, but in a country where we have over 300 million civilian-owned firearms, that’s a bit like saying the American settlers shouldn’t have taken this land from the Indians – you might have a point, but that ship sailed long ago.

But people are really sure that if we pass the assault weapons ban, something useful will be done, even though it’s a ban on deadly weapons in the same way that prohibiting flame decals would be a ban on fast cars. This law intending that we only get shot with non-scary-looking guns wouldn’t actually ban anything, since everything pre-ban would still be perfectly legal – it would just cost more. Despite all the Occupy Wall Street protests about the sociopathic 1%, apparently we’ll all feel safer if only the wealthy have the ability to kill lots of people at once.

However, you can’t explain this to fans of gun control legislation, as the people most fervently for it don’t know anything about what they’re trying to outlaw (or for that matter, human psychology, based on their frequent predictions that the wild west will break out wherever concealed carry is allowed). They hear “semi-automatic” and think “machine gun,” and it’s obvious that they don’t even know what these gun bans do. So here’s a great idea that should make everyone happy: Let’s just pretend to pass gun control legislation.

What we can do is pass a law banning a bunch of made-up things that sound scary, and many gun control proponents already have great ideas along this line. For instance, I read a column in which Howard Kurtz mentioned a ban on high-magazine clips – we can certainly do without something that nonsensical. And I’ve heard the press before mention armor-piercing hollow points and plastic guns (actually, I think we already banned that made-up weapon in the ‘80s). And as long as the NRA and Wayne LaPierre go apoplectic about it (“This ban on sorcerer-enchanted guns is just a slippery slope toward eliminating all witch-hexed weaponry!”), gun control proponents won’t know the difference between this and actual gun control. And this will help protect our most vulnerable people out there: politicians. Because long after the gun control advocates move on to other things, like who they want to tax next, gun owners will still be annoyed by any actual gun control legislation. One of the greatest fears politicians have is seeing an angry guy with lots of guns charging down the street, because they know he’s probably on his way to commit an act of voting.

Of course, with this idea, absolutely nothing will be done to keep criminals and madmen from obtaining guns, but that’s the effect of every other gun control law, so we’re just reaching this end in a much cheaper and less messy fashion. Because what are the options if we actually want to do something to make people safer? Let law abiding citizens like teachers carry in schools? That’s just insane. Solving the problem of guns with more guns is just another crazy idea by those people who take that “liberty” idea to dangerous extremes and cause all the other civilized countries to make fun of us. Instead, let’s get to work banning those unicorn horn-tipped bullets and feeling safer.

Frank J. Fleming is the author of the books “How to Fix Everything in America Forever: The Plan to Keep America Awesome” (out now) and “Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything” (free for a limited time), writes columns for PJ Media and the New York Post, blogs at, and would vote a hundred times for Obama is not for Idaho’s racist voter ID law.


Capt. Call in New Mexico said:

If we are able to ban made-up things that sound scary, does that mean that we may also ban a made-up Kenyan Community Organizer, who just happens to be the President? Ah, such is the stuff of which dreams are made!

Monday, January 14, 2013 at 1:17 AM

M Rick Timms MD in Georgia said:

Americans are not required to own guns, or even like them. But many of us do. The government however is prohibited from "infringing" on the God given right of Americans to keep (have) and bear (carry) guns. In spite of this prohibition, the progressives in government have indeed infringed on this right, in a failed attempt to limit the lawless, with new laws that have only made the problem of gun violence worse. "Gun Free Zones" are the second most common place for gun related homicide. The first spot, by far is in the Ghetto, where gang violence - primarily black on black violence - accounts for the vast majority of gun related deaths in the US.

Why don't we get Mr Biden to chair a meeting on "Gang Gun Violence and effectiveness of Gun Free Zones", or maybe "Liability of Politicians who establish Gun Free - Killing Zones".

Keep in mind that IF the government can violate the 2nd Amendment and restrict the type and usage of GUNS and require registration, then they can also violate the 1st Amendment and restrict the type and usage of WORDS, and require registration of "speakers". If guns are restricted to the "Militia", then logically free speech must be restricted to the "Press". Of course - both restrictions are unconstitutional and ridiculous, but the progressives are hell bent on restricting guns (something they know little about-yet fear from ignorance).

History is clear. Registration will lead to confiscation/bans and will be followed by genocide or removal of unarmed "dissidents". The next target of course will be "the Rich, 1%, the Religious Right" all of whom are being scapegoated as we speak. They have been the target before - in China, Cambodia, Germany, Guatemala, Turkey, Russia, Cuba et al., and were massacred within 10-20 years after being disarmed in the name of public safety. This is not alamist - this is simply fact.

The founders recognized that "the people" must have access to military arms in order to prevent a tyrant from using our own military against the people. That is why we need an AR-15, and lots of 30 round magazines, just like the ones used by the military.

We must take a stand here. There may be slightly more than 50% willing to vote for socialists - but there are lots more than 50% who are willing to fight to uphold, defend and restore our constitution. No Registration. No restictions on the "right to keep and bear arms".

Monday, January 14, 2013 at 3:04 AM

pete in CA replied:

I once read somewhere that we would all be better off if laws were passed requiring all sane able bodied people to be armed at all times, and those who would rather not be armed could pay to support police to protect and defend them.

I like that idea much better than what we have today. Congress dedicates entirely too much time debating gun control instead of taking care of running the business of America.

Monday, January 14, 2013 at 4:32 PM

K9SAR in NEW YORK said:

The mayor of New York City just gave an order to the NYPD to discontinue STOP & FRISK. STOP & FRISK by New York City Police Officers was a program that removed thousands of unlawful guns from the streets and out of the hands of criminals. The murder rate went down during the STOP & FRISK program. I wonder what the murder rate will be for the next few years now that this program is banned by the Mayor and his liberal buddies.
The libs are willing to allow the bad guys to walk the streets armed and to kill at will, but have made a big to do about honest registered gun owners to own semi-automatic rifles. Our country is upside down.
The mayor has armed security around him 24/7. The president has the Secret Service, and has just made provisions for that protection for him and his family for the rest of his life. What will be to come in the future? I can see where the armed citizen will become a thing of the past, and become the fodder of the criminal element around us just like in Austrailia and England where guns were confiscated and the crime rate is steadily climbing. England has the highest crime rate in Europe.
WAKE UP AMERICANS AND STAND UP FOR OUR 2ND. AMEND. RIGHTS. If we don't wake up we will become a hunting ground for the evil that is all around us and just waiting for their next opportunity. We will become England or worse, Nazi Germany, North Korea, Cuba, China, just to name a few of the lovely countries that have taken guns from their citizens.

Monday, January 14, 2013 at 6:06 AM

Tod the tool guy in brooklyn ny said:

Caveat:"Something must be done."Liberals were saying that about the rising kost of health kare--until they fixed it---kompletely, in Karl Marx fashion. Never look at results, just keep da klass warfare going!

Monday, January 14, 2013 at 6:38 AM

cgregor in springfield, vermont said:

Frank, the way to control criminal access to guns is to consider this: Eighty percent of gun homicides are committed with second-hand guns. Owners lost them, left them unsecured, gave them away, lent them, sold them or pawned them-- and then they fell into unworthy hands.

While the Second Amendment might be construed as giving anyone the right to own a gun, there is nothing in the Constitution that defends any right to let go of a gun. So, to eliminate six to eleven thousand gun deaths a year, all we need is a law that says, "The gun you buy is your lifetime responsibility. If it ever, ever passes into less worthy hands than yours, you will be held responsible for its use. If you want to absolve yourself of the responsibility, the only way is to destroy it."

A number of changes would occur. First, gun buyers would buy only as many weapons as they could control. Second, as guns get destroyed, manufacturers would sell more. Third, there would be some 200 million gun owners working quite hard to keep weapons out of the hands of criminals, a far cry from the number of law enforcement people doing so today. Fourth, the general public would come to esteem the gun owners who now respect their weapons like the samurai did his sword, never allowing it to be polluted by lesser hands. And finally, the NRA could take pride in its new slogan, "You can have my gun when you unglue it from my cold, dead hands."

Monday, January 14, 2013 at 8:19 AM

rab in jo,mo replied:

Sorry, but that's just insane! Most criminals get their guns from those that have stolen them from their rightful owners. I keep the vast majority of my guns locked away in safes, but if a criminal really wanted to get their hands on them, they'd take them, safe and all. You propose that I would be responsible for the misuse of these firearms after they've been stolen from me? I don't think so, Bubba.
BTW, just who decides how many guns any one particular individual can "control" as you propose? The ATF? Are you willing to open your house up for government inspections? I'm not.

Monday, January 14, 2013 at 2:28 PM

FMFDOC5455 in Holly Springs, MS. replied:

That is about as stupid a proposal as I have heard, cgregor. Let's just send anyone who has committed a crime with a gun to a public hanging and no 25 yrs. wasted on appeals so lawyers can stuff their pockets. Just hang the SOBs and be rid of them.

Monday, January 14, 2013 at 6:51 PM

The Outlaw in Middle of Nowhere replied:

Lets pass the law so you can control who get what. You grabbers want "universal background checks" with all the privacy laws we have now you tell me how that could possibly ever happen? Oh yeah I bet it would come at a great cost. Do you realize in spite of the terrible crimes perpatrated by several insane idiots that mass murders are at an all time low? They haven't been this low since the 1920's? Bet not since the biased media never mentions that fact nor do they ever relate the number of lives saved by firearm use every year, murders, rapes, assaults etc. why are these stastics never mentioned? Could be they might present a whole new light as to the benefits of firearm ownership. BTW gun crime is lower than it has been in 20 years yet there are millions more of those "evil assault weapons" in the hands of "us crazies" according to Brian Williams, Lester Holt etal. Brian and Lester are intent on pushing Obama's disarmament plan, statiscts and truth be dammed.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013 at 3:27 AM

Nunya Bidness in El Monte said:

This column is hilarious - thanks for the hyperbole, right down to the "free for a limited time..." 'cause it's $1.99 everywhere I look the day the article posted! I wish everyone who needed to read and understand this column would, but ... I guess that's the sad point of it.

Monday, January 14, 2013 at 1:10 PM

rab in jo,mo said:

I'm still waiting for someone to provide a true definition of an "assault rifle".

Military rifle? That would include all the bolt action rifles based upon the Mauser design, including the Remington 700 and Winchester Model 70 (both of which have seen service in the US military. Many lever action rifles were also used in miltary form, as well.

High Capacity Magazine? Well, any rifle capable of using a detachable magazine is capable of using a high-capacity magazine.

High Power Cartridge? Most typical deer rifles are chambered for cartridges much more powerful than the .223/5.56 round predominant in the AR15 platform.

High rate of fire? Attend a Cowboy Action Shoot and see how fast a lever gun can be accurately fired. The Brits were quite proud of the high rates of fire they were able to achieve with their bolt-action, clip fed Enfield rifles.

So, again, just what is an "assault rifle"?

Monday, January 14, 2013 at 3:06 PM

Jerry A. in Frederick, MD said:

This is a ludicrous argument. As you say, by definition all crimes are committed by criminals. That does not mean that all laws are useless. We're not throwing up our hands and giving up on anti-smoking laws or anti-drunk driving laws. Why should we say that any reasonable gun control laws are useless?

Of course laws are going to affect law abiding citizens as well as criminals. Gun manufacturers sell guns to authorized vendors, who in turn are only supposed to sell to a limited set of citizens, not people in jail or ex-felons or the mentally ill. Reasonable people just want to make sure the loopholes are not the size of a rental truck, like the ones moving cheap guns bought in large quantities from Virginia and other states with loose gun laws, to places like Washintion DC or New York City, where they are illegal but still sold to criminals in "private transactions". Gun makers love those loopholes, while police hate them. We can stop this illegal trade by limiting the number of guns purchased per transaction (except to licensed dealers), and requiring a background check for every sale. Pretty simple, really, but the NRA, you, and your other commenters are acting as if the black U.N. helicopters are hovering over your armed compound, or some other crazy idea. Mr. Fleming, what do you have against keeping police officers and law abiding citizens alive?

If you really believed what you wrote, that we should give up on laws regulating wide-spread illegal items, then the right wing would have given up on the War on Drugs last year, when the report "The War on Drugs has Failed" came out. Or ten years ago. Or a couple of decades ago, when it was clear from the beginning it was a failure.

Monday, January 14, 2013 at 4:01 PM

pete in CA replied:

But Jerry, we did give up on anti-smoking laws. We just changed them from permitting tobacco to permitting pot. I smoked for years and never got stoned from one cigarette. And when I decided to quit, I quit - 1983!

Monday, January 14, 2013 at 4:37 PM

Jerry A. in Frederick, MD replied:

Do you live in California? Your state went from all smoking, all the time, to leading the nation in smoke-free public spaces. Your smoking analogy only makes sense if you totally disregard reality, which seem to be the NRA and GOP's stances.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013 at 12:02 PM

rab in jo,mo replied:

Do you have any evidence of these rental trucks full of "cheap guns bought in large quantities" running up the highway to NYC or DC or are you just buying into Bloomberg's yammering? I like the use of the term "reasonable people" as if people that are trying to protect private property rights are somehow "unreasonable". Isn't what you describe an interstate "straw purchase", which is already illegal? It's not a "loophole", it's a felony! So what do you want to do - make it more illegal?
Since the NICS system was put into place, it is not all that difficult to figure out who the straw purchasers are now. There already is a separate form to report multiple handgun sales at time of purchase from a dealer - all the ATF has to do is look at a dealers A&D records to determine who is making large purchases. They have the ability to inspect a dealer's records at any time.

Most dealers don't want to lose their license (and livelihood), so they watch out for straw purchasers. In fact, the dealers along the southern US border were reporting the straw purchasers in the now-famous "Fast and Furious" debacle and were told by the ATF to proceed with the sales anyway. I don't see you complaining about that, now do I?

Monday, January 14, 2013 at 6:07 PM

Jerry A. in Frederick, MD replied:

Try the ATF website, which shows the statistics for guns traced after crimes. Note these are the guns which the ATF spent time to trace, not the total number.
For example, from VA, WVA, etc. to New York.

Newspaper article excerpt from the Chaleston WV Daily Mail:

Wednesday, January 16, 2013 at 9:42 AM

The Outlaw in Middle of Nowhere replied:

Every firearm I purchase in Virginia must have a background check performed before I can purchase it. The media and Bloomberg decided to make Virginia a scapegoat several years ago on 60 minutes but sorry to inform you we have the same laws as every other state that sells firearms.
Seriously if this was really happening like they claim that it was the BATFE wouldn't have been able to bust these "nefarious gun dealers by now? Looks bad on them f they can't. Just like the "gunshow loophole" they keep talking about. There are agents undercover at all of these shows background checks are performed there also. If these mass illegal sales were really happening don't you think they would have busted one so they could have crowed about it on TV? Think about what they are feeding you and if you do you will realize its just not what they are selling you.
BTW any law-abiding firearm owner never wants to see any shooting unless it is to save someone elses life. If you think different you are misinformed or just wrong because when it happens we have to fight this insane fight everry time and its getting old, really old.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013 at 3:45 AM

Dioneikes in Colorado said:

Well the Obummah is now saying that "he has the authority to go it alone on gun control." Sounds like he wants to see if we'll give him his Lexington and Concord. I believe this is coming down to the second part of "alter or abolish" in the Declaration of Independence, as it is our duty.

Monday, January 14, 2013 at 5:13 PM

rab in jo,mo replied:

If he "goes it alone", then impeachment is required. The Executive branch cannot legislate! Call/write your Representatives demanding Articles of Impeachment if this happens.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013 at 8:42 AM

Jerry A. in Frederick, MD replied:

The Declaration of Independence is not law. The Constitution is law, and defines what you are advocating as treason. I may be in favor of more gun control,. but I have not forgotten my oaths, nor have I forgotten how to defend my country. You may not realize that a liberal, a patriot, and a veteran can describe the same person, Son of Treason. You go ahead, do what you feel is your so-called "duty", and I will do mine.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013 at 12:09 PM

rab in jo,mo replied:

I ask you for evidence to support your claims and you (wrongly) call us traitors. Typical ad hominem attack. It's not treason to refuse to comply with laws that are contra-constitutional. Whatever, you've shown your colors, we've shown ours. Enjoy life on your knees, serf.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013 at 3:07 PM

Jerry A. in Frederick, MD replied:

See above for stats. I was replying to SoL, not attacking rab, but I thought that was obvious. Describing a treasonous statement as treason is accuracy, not an ad hominem attack. Given the sheer hostility towards the government, towards facts, and now to me, I'm done here. Enjoy your echo chamber.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013 at 9:45 AM

Rich in Sandusky, Oh said:

Here again we have kabukee theatre in the WH. All results have been pre-determined by the out of control POTUS and his minions. Even the brain dead can comprehend the insanity we are seeing. A panel made up of the CEO of mental dwarfism, Biden, and sitting to his left is gun running CEO, Eric Holder. This is insanity. With CEO of bathhouse, crack smoking, questionable records, and never holding a real job, Obama. All three are deciding the freedoms we now have by themselves. There is no power vested in the President to change the Constitution by executive fiat. Now we will see who really supports the Constitution and we the people. Since rifles of all kinds are only used in 1% of the crimes, just like the first 10 yr ban, it will have no effect on crime. You must ask yourself what is there end game? The American people are speaking with their wallets. Ammunition and guns have been sold out nationwide. Many of us knew Stymie would overstep his restraints. Here it comes with the debt, 2nd Amendment, 1st, Amendment, and the Bill of Rights overall. Most people I know are preparing for the worst and hoping for the best.

I believe in the Second Amendment. I will not take your shotgun away. I
will not take your rifle away. I won"t take your handgun away... I am not
going to take your guns away. So if you want to find an excuse not to vote
for me, don't use that one because it just ain't true. It ain't true." -
Barack Obama, 2008

Monday, January 14, 2013 at 8:57 PM

Capt. Call in New Mexico replied:

Just like his father Satan, Obama is a liar and the father of lies. There is not a word of truth in him.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013 at 1:19 AM

JJStryder in Realville said:

Only with massive non-compliance will we show these idiot politicians who is in charge. Don't go along with any of it, gear up my friends. I believe they finally may have hit the nerve that will topple their tyrannical plans. The right to self defense isn't to be trifled with by self serving men. God is the source of our freedom, not Cuomo or his ilk.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013 at 10:44 AM

Iron Sights in Ohio replied:

I have been watching Cuomo rant and rave about his crazy gun control and confiscation ideas over the past several weeks and the only things that come to mind are, "good luck with that", and "what a douche".

Tuesday, January 15, 2013 at 7:53 PM

Leaping Spark in Valrico, FL said:

When only criminals and our criminal government have guns, the people of the US will be nothing more than targets. One of the tenants of Communism is the taking of guns from the people, Obama being a Communist knows this must be done in order for him and his boot lickers to succeed in taking over America.

The second revolution is coming and once again a choice will have to be made, be red or be dead.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013 at 6:30 PM

Iron Sights in Ohio said:

None of us know exactly what infringements on the Second Amendment the Usurper-In -Chief is going to trot out tomorrow but what ever they are, they won't be good for those of us who are law abiding firearms owners. It's safe to say I won't be observing any of them. MOLON LABE.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013 at 7:40 PM