Making All the Right Enemies

“You might be Googling who Mike Johnson is this morning. Let me make it simple: Johnson is a hard-right, pro-Trump, leading election denier in the House. Sadly, this is what passes for Speaker material in the Republican conference.” —Congressman Adam Schiff (D-CA) (“Interestingly, Schiff and every single one of his sore-losing Democrat colleagues voted for a hard-right hard-left, pro-Trump anti-Trump, leading election denier in the House: Hakeem Jeffries.” —Douglas Andrews)

Touché

“Smoke coming out of the Chimneys in Washington, DC. It’s either a new speaker or Hunter’s hitting the pipe again. My sources tell me BOTH.” —Jimmy Failla

Non Sequitur

“We faced adversity on September 11th, 2001, when the [Twin] Towers and the Pentagon were unexpectedly struck, killing thousands of lives in an instant. We faced adversity right here in the House of Representatives when on January 6th, 2021, a violent mob of insurrectionists, incited by some in this Chamber, overran the House floor as part of an effort to halt the peaceful transition of power.” —House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

Keeping the Hospital Lie Going

“Media outlets and third-party analysts have raised doubts about claims and evidence offered by both Israel and the Gaza Ministry of Health, and I agree with the United Nations that an independent investigation is necessary. I cannot uncritically accept Israel’s denials of responsibility as fact.” —Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib (D-MI)

The BIG Lies

“The Republicans are trying to sabotage the Biden administration’s efforts to fix the issues at the border and then bash the administration while they are doing that.” —Congressman Dan Goldman (D-NY)

“Nobody’s turning a blind eye to Iran’s complicity.” —National Security Council spokesman John Kirby (“Biden unlocked a $6 billion gift for Iran last month. Before that, he unlocked a $10 billion gift. And before that, he stopped enforcing sanctions on Iranian oil (another ~$80 billion).” —RNC)

For the Record

“The United Nations was established, primarily by the United States, in the aftermath of World War II, in an attempt at creating a family of nations. It has been a disaster area ever since, serving more as a propaganda tool on behalf of third-world autocracies than the institution for defense of democracy that served as its initial mission. The UN should be disbanded and defunded.” —Ben Shapiro

“While Hamas/Palestinian terrorists are decapitating Israeli babies, Biden is busy propagating his fake ‘Islamicphobia’ narrative.” —Mark Alexander

Belly Laughs of the Day

“If you want to give [Biden] … a report card: A+. … We are one nation that has truly global responsibilities, and he’s managing it all.” —John Kirby

“Joe Biden is the most popular man in Israel, much more so than Bibi Netanyahu.” —Council on Foreign Relations president emeritus Richard Haass

“The president is doing his job. He’s doing his job domestically and as commander-in-chief.” —White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre

Non Compos Mentis

“We’re suing Tennessee for their ‘aggravated prostitution’ statute that targets people with HIV with harsh punishment and lifetime sex offender registration. This law is unconstitutional and disproportionately affects Black and transgender women. The law elevates engaging in sex work from a misdemeanor to a felony based on someone’s HIV status — a protected disability.” —ACLU (“I have news for the ACLU: Knowingly exposing people to a deadly disease disproportionately affects the victim of such exposure.” —David Strom)

Junk Science

“[My wife] got the booster and did not get COVID. I did not get the booster and I got COVID. So, another round for you, science.” —"comedian" Stephen Colbert

Re: The Left

“Excusing crime such as theft will only lead to more of it. Communities that have been most negatively impacted by crime are lower-income black and Hispanic communities, but culture, not color, is to blame. When a community not only tolerates but celebrates and lionizes criminals as the real victims, then it’s not shocking when criminal activity increases. Furthermore, when law enforcement is demonized as the villains, it will result in fewer cops and more crime. Then as crime rises, the law-abiding leave if possible.” —Thomas Gallatin

Insight

“Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.” —C.S. Lewis (1898-1963)