Monday Short Cuts
Chelsea Handler knows just the person to replace Donald Trump — North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un.
The Gipper: “The challenge of statesmanship is to have the vision to dream of a better, safer world and the courage, persistence, and patience to turn that dream into reality.”
Braying Jackass: “We welcome the world’s tired and poor and huddled masses to our shores. … We are going to continue to have the Statue of Liberty be our symbol, not that damned wall!” —Chuck Schumer
Braying Jenny: “Kim Jung’s [sic] letter to @realDonaldTrump is a little bit more sane than @realDonaldTrump. Maybe we trade?” —Chelsea Handler
Non Compos Mentis: “Hurricane Irma knocked out the power while residents of the Florida town of Titusville sought shelter inside Apollo Elementary School. But there remained a source of electricity in Classroom 408, thanks to an economic stimulus program set in motion by President Barack Obama in his first days in office. … [Trump voters] did not likely offer thanks to Obama for the $787 billion American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, which funded such public projects as the $10 million UCF Florida Solar Energy Center program to create SunSmart E-Shelters in 115 schools.” —The Daily Beast’s Michael Daly
Village Idiots: “The Electoral College Is a National Security Threat.” —Matthew Olsen and Benjamin Haas in Politico
Demo-gogues: “[John] McCain, he’s staring death in the face right now, so he’s probably going to make good choices and he’s not going to bend to political pressure [by voting for ObamaCare repeal].” —Rep. Matt Cartwright
Conformity: “It doesn’t matter whether they’re black, or white, Latino, Asian-American or Native American. When you see something that’s not right, not fair, not just, you have an obligation to do something, to say something. … I believe in the philosophy and the discipline of nonviolence, but sometimes I feel like taking a bullwhip and just saying to people, ‘You get your butt up. You go out there and do what you must do.’” —Rep. John Lewis
And last… “Many folks cool w/ NFL players disrespecting the American flag after years of saying Tebow’s personal beliefs have no place on the field.” —Twitter satirist @hale_razor
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