Re: The Left: “You’ve humiliated this guy enough. There seems to be no bottom for some of you. … Why don’t we dunk him in the water and see if he floats?” —Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) responding to Kavanaugh’s “witch hunt” protesters in the halls of Congress

Dezinformatziya: “Enough has been learned about his partisan instincts that we believe senators must vote ‘no’ [on Brett Kavanaugh]. We do not say so lightly. We have not opposed a Supreme Court nominee, liberal or conservative, since Robert H. Bork in 1987.” —The Washington Post (The editors didn’t mention that Ted Kennedy’s shameful treatment of Bork provided the Democrat template for character assassination of judicial nominees to the point that “Borking” became a verb.)

A vast right-wing conspiracy I: “I have seen [the FBI report] and … my very emphatic opinion is that this set of interviews is at best, most charitably, woefully incomplete. To put it bluntly, it smacks of a whitewash, even a cover up.” – Sen. Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) (“The evidence for this supposed ‘cover up’ can be found right next to Blumenthal’s Vietnam War records, and in the same drawer as all the corroboration of the accusations against Judge Kavanaugh.” —Guy Benson)

A vast right-wing conspiracy II: “It’s obviously a cover-up. The Trump White House, working with the Republican leadership in the Senate, have deliberately circumscribed this investigation.” —Sen. Ed Markey (D-MA)

From an expert on barnyard excrement: “Just read the FBI report on Kavanaugh — if that’s an investigation, it’s a bulls—t investigation.” —Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ)

Braying Jenny: “What I can say is that the most notable part of this report is what’s not in it. As we noted by the White House, the FBI did not interview Brett Kavanaugh, nor did the FBI interview Dr. Blasey Ford.” —Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) (And here we thought Feinstein and Company already interviewed them…)

Braying Jackass: “[Years ago] I thought [Kavanaugh] had the qualifications for the Supreme Court should he be selected. I’ve changed my views for reasons that have no relationship to his intellectual ability. … I feel his performance in the hearings ultimately changed my mind.” —former Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens

Meaning what, exactly? “As we go towards the midterm elections, if someone in your family even remotely seems like they may go the wrong way, you need to be sure that you turn up on them at the dinner table. Do not allow people to be comfortable around you supporting racists and bigots.” —Women’s March co-chair Tamika Mallory

And last… “Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has sometimes frustrated conservative activists. But right now every conservative in America owes McConnell a huge debt of gratitude.” —Gary Bauer

(Correction: It was Ed Markey, not Jeff Merkley, who called it a “cover-up.”)