Columnist.
Mike Johnson confirmed that weeks of constant thumb-twiddling had left representatives exhausted and in dire need of a vacation.
McConnell’s colleagues said it was a relief to see his Force ghost appear to them to guide them during this dark time.
“There will be so many affordable footlongs, believe me,” Trump told reporters.
According to climate activists, no hurricanes might seem good until you realize fewer people are being killed by them.
“There should be some type of compromise in these situations,” the woman said.
“As we mark this grave moment, let us come together under the Sharia Law of Islamist dictatorships.”
We can only imagine what the deliberations between these twelve luminaries must have been like.
“This is the best way to remember her legacy,” HR representative Mary Thompson said.
“Honestly, we had it coming,” Massachusetts resident Katie Smith admitted.
“Huh. Wonder what she’s saying under there,” said local man Hamza Malik.
Here is a brief but helpful introductory guide to boomer phrases and what they mean.
“I know this is Minnesota and I’m supposed to be progressive, but this is too much,” said Vikings fan Tom Chris.
“How can you celebrate — I mean, solemnly observe — 9/11 properly without humbly obliging the religion that propagated these attacks?”
“He was tremendous, almost as tremendous as I am,” Trump told reporters in the Oval Office.
“The cost of groceries will fall like you won’t believe.”
“They’re nasty, dangerous people, these women,” Trump said.
Dolly Parton, age 80, was the final person on earth still beloved across every political and socioeconomic spectrum.
“Trump has 48 hours to respond or face the devastating moose consequences,” said Prime Minister Mark Carney.
“We love what Scott’s face brings to the table,” said President Trump, making the announcement.
