Democrats have three paths to victory next November, all being eagerly embraced by Republicans.

PLAN A: Enrage Republicans by bringing a string of ludicrous indictments, civil suits and ballot disqualifications against Donald Trump, thus tricking the GOP into making him the nominee.

RESULT: Joe Biden easily wins a second term. If Trump behaves as we know he will, Biden wins even if he’s dead.

Wait, but why would Republicans make Trump the nominee just because — OH MY GOSH, IT’S WORKING!!!

When Trump declared his presidential run on Nov. 15, 2022, he was dead in the water. November, December, January, February — polls all put liberal-slayer Gov. Ron DeSantis in the lead, or within striking distance. He wasn’t even a candidate yet.

Then the indictments started rolling in. The media went back to 24-7 unhinged Trump commentary, and the former president’s numbers soared. The more liberals indicted him, the more it juiced his presidential campaign. (And they get to enjoy themselves while doing it.)

Defying all expectations, by me at least, Republicans have reacted to these garbage prosecutions by saying, Watch this, liberals! We’re going to punish you by handing Democrats the presidency, the House and the Senate. You disqualified Trump from the ballot, Colorado? We’re going to put Democrats in a position to pack the court!

I can’t enstupid myself enough to understand why being the victim of legal persecution is supposed to make someone a great candidate for president. Please draw a diagram from “These Trump indictments are outrageous!” to “Let’s make him our nominee!”

Lots of people — or at least several — have been victimized by viciously unfair criminal prosecutions.

The Innocence Project framed an innocent black man, Alstory Simon, for a double murder in Chicago in 1999. He sat in prison for 15 years until a couple of federal agents reinvestigated and exposed the rotten truth. (Watch the documentary “A Murder in the Park” — free on Prime!)

Should Simon be president?

Kyle Rittenhouse, who shot three men who were trying to kill him in Kenosha, Wisconsin, was the victim of a blatantly political prosecution. He could have gone to prison for life.

Should he be president?

The only way Jake Gardner could possibly have been indicted for defending himself during a BLM riot in Omaha, Nebraska, was to create an all-new legal system just for him. The Democratic district attorney concluded it was self-defense, then — for no legal reason — abdicated his responsibility and appointed a sleazy black prosecutor to indict Gardner.

Should Gardner be president? Too late! With the deck stacked against him, he committed suicide.

And by the way, did any of you warriors for Trump — I’m looking at you, Clay Travis — ever make a peep about these other miscarriages of justice? [Answer: No.] What was done to Simon, Rittenhouse and Gardner was a million times worse than anything being done to Trump.

You want to punish liberals for their maniacal pursuit of a standard-issue, extra-obnoxious Republican ex-president? Nominate a candidate who will win, not the guy who’s lost the last three elections for us and is guaranteed to lose again.

PLAN B: Keep telling the public that Trump is the prohibitive front-runner. Talk about him as if he were already the nominee. This will discourage sane Republicans from voting. What’s the point? It’s going to be Trump anyway; the media say so.

RESULT: Trump’s the nominee; landslide for Biden. (It’s very similar to Plan A.)

To be sure, the polls are grim for those of us who would prefer a GOP nominee who could conceivably win. But most poll respondents don’t even know who’s running for president right now. Saying “Trump” is just another way of saying “Let’s Go Brandon” or “FJB” (and just as clever!).

People think polls are IQ tests. They’re afraid to get the answer wrong but know absolutely nothing. Literally nothing. This week, two liberals independently told me they liked Nikki Haley, but thought she was “too isolationist.” Yes, the neocons’ Frankenstein, who couldn’t care less about America but has demanded war on three continents at every debate, is too “isolationist.”

They know nothing.

As I keep saying, polls the year before an election are mere name-recognition contests — and the media are never going to let anyone forget Donald Trump. They’ll still be talking about Jan. 6 in the 2064 election.

Another media bete noir, Newt Gingrich, was crushing the polls, at least before the voting started. These were the polls in December 2011, just a few weeks before Iowa and New Hampshire:

“Gingrich sits atop the Republican presidential field in Iowa … according to a new Washington Post-ABC News poll. … [W]ith 33 percent support among likely caucus-goers in the new poll, Gingrich runs well ahead of his two main rivals, Romney and Paul … at 18 percent.” —The Washington Post, Dec. 6, 2011

“[According to the latest New York Times/CBS News Poll] … Mr. Gingrich … would be supported enthusiastically as his party’s presidential nominee by more voters than any of his rivals, the poll found.” —The New York Times, Dec. 7, 2011

“Gingrich also leads Romney in Iowa polls and has been gaining on him in New Hampshire, the state holding the first primary.” —The New York Post, Dec. 9, 2011

“Gingrich is leading the field in Iowa [and] closing fast on Romney [in New Hampshire], raising the possibility he could score a stunning upset in a state long considered Romney’s firewall.” —The Boston Globe, Dec. 12, 2011

“Gingrich … recently rocketed to the lead in Iowa, which holds the first caucuses Jan. 3, and he is in second place in the polls in New Hampshire, which votes Jan. 10.” —The Boston Globe, Dec. 16, 2011

Two weeks later, Gingrich came in fourth in Iowa, and a week after that, fifth out of five in New Hampshire. Apparently, before actually casting their ballots, voters did some reading.

My message of hope to Republicans who prefer winning to losing: Ignore the media. They haven’t made Trump the nominee yet.

PLAN C: Get Republicans to nominate Nikki Haley.

RESULT: Either way, a Democrat wins.

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