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Burt Prelutsky / Jun. 8, 2019

Blame It on Their Youth?

First it was Cher, who overcame her ditziness long enough to send out a tweet calling for the city of Los Angeles to quit wasting money on illegal aliens when 50,000 of its own legal residents, including military veterans, were homeless. But as soon as her Hollywood colleagues tweeted their displeasure with her remark, she immediately deleted her message.

First it was Cher, who overcame her ditziness long enough to send out a tweet calling for the city of Los Angeles to quit wasting money on illegal aliens when 50,000 of its own legal residents, including military veterans, were homeless. But as soon as her Hollywood colleagues tweeted their displeasure with her remark, she immediately deleted her message.

Next it was Robert Mueller’s turn on the hot seat. After wasting two years and about $25 million tax dollars trying to make a case of Trump’s colluding with Russia and/or obstructing justice, he turned in a 400-page report that found him guilty of neither.

But rather than face the wrath of the Democratic base and his fellow Deep Staters, he decided to suggest that although he and his pro-Hillary staff members hadn’t been able to come up with any examples of obstruction, he wasn’t prepared to say that the President wasn’t guilty.

Instead, he said: “If I had believed Donald Trump was guilty of a crime, I would have said so.” But he did strongly suggest that although he lacked the authority to punish the President, he thought it would be a good idea if the House went ahead and impeached him anyway.

After all, there’s a good chance that Trump at least thought about asking his campaign advisors to lie on his behalf and probably even considered firing Special Counsel Mueller somewhere along the way. Like the Catholic Church, Mr. Mueller apparently finds little difference between mortal sins and venial sins.

Perhaps his high school counselor should have advised him to take up the priesthood rather than the law inasmuch as the law requires that only crimes actually committed call for punishment and not those that are simply imagined.

It makes me wonder if now that I’m just seven months shy of turning 80 I am being too harsh on Cher, 73, and Mueller, 74. Perhaps, I should merely attribute their shortcomings to their relative youth.

Perhaps the most troubling aspect of this farce is that, even now, Robert Mueller is widely regarded in Washington, D.C., as a man of integrity. If I had a friend who displayed this sort of integrity, he’d soon be an ex-friend.

I would be very angry with Russia if I learned that they were attempting to interfere with our presidential elections by refusing to insist that voters provide photo I.D.s at the polls; pushed for convicted felons, including one terrorist responsible for the bombing at the Boston Marathon and another who joined the Taliban and killed American soldiers, to help select the next president; and waged a campaign to do away with the constitutionally-mandated Electoral College.

But, of course Russia hasn’t done any of those things. The Democrats have and they continue to do so.

There is one foreign government, though, that is out to hurt us. That would be—no surprise—Mexico.

The Mexican government is pledging to spend $150 million in an effort to keep Mexicans in the U.S. speaking Spanish. You might think that would prevent their full assimilation into our culture. And that’s the whole point of the campaign, because in the words of the government’s spokesman: “We want even the seventh generation of Mexicans in the U.S. to think ‘Mexico first!’”

In case you might be wondering where Mexico is coming up with that $150 million, I’ll remind you that our government gives Mexico $320 million annually.

It must be out of the kindness of our heart, because, clearly, our brain could not possibly be engaged in this lunacy.

Just for the record, when I heard Ami Horowitz tell Tucker Carlson that he needed 65,000 people to make a contribution to his presidential campaign so that he, who supported a closed border and a strong military, could appear on the debate stage with the other two dozen Democrats vying for their party’s 2020 nomination, I considered sending him a buck.

When I discovered that Mr. Horowitz was in fact pranking the Democrats and is in fact a Conservative, I sent him $5.

I figure it’s worth that much just to have a reason to watch the debates. And as I don’t know how close he is to 65,000 donors, I’d ask that you all visit AmiForAmerica.com and give the guy a dollar.

In response to my joke about the heart surgeon and a car mechanic, Wesley Forgue sent along the following, which he described as a story, but which I assumed was a joke. As Fox News likes to tell us, I report, you decide.

“Because doctors are dime a dozen in Israel, my friend related this story. A man called the plumber to fix the leaky drain under his Tel Aviv sink. The plumber fixed the problem in short order and presented the man with a bill for $1000.

"The home owner was shocked. He told the plumber that he was a neurosurgeon and he never charged that much for such a small job.

"The plumber replied that he didn’t charge that much either…back when he was still a heart surgeon.”

After I recently wrote about abortions and their shameful prevalence in black communities, pointing out that black women are five times more likely than white women to employ abortions as a means of birth control, one of my female readers asked where I had come up with that number.

I replied: “I first heard it from a guest on Tucker Carlson’s show. I had no reason to doubt the 5-1 ratio because most Planned Parenthood abortion mills, which they slyly refer to as clinics, are situated in black neighborhoods. Which, I’ll remind you, is where serial killer Dr. Kermit Gosnell plied his bloody trade.”

Furthermore, there was a time when black couples were more likely to be married than white ones. But that was before Lyndon Johnson and Hubert Humphrey concocted a welfare system that denied welfare to black women and children if there was a man, even if he was a husband and father, in the home.

If they weren’t all a bunch of money and power-hungry weasels, prominent blacks like Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Maxine Waters, Kamala Harris, Donna Brazile, Cory Booker and the Obamas, would be hollering about the self-inflicted genocide that blacks are committing every day all over this country.

But, of course, that would require that they turn their collective backs on the racist Democratic party and condemn not only each other but themselves.

But it isn’t only black women who are killing their babies. White women have also fallen for the lie that abortions empower them. It has even made the hound dog likes of Bill Clinton, Harvey Weinstein and Matt Lauer, to achieve heroic stature among women for their full-fledged support of Planned Parenthood and the woman’s right to choose.

Frankly, I’m amazed that women have allowed themselves to be played for suckers by men for all these years. By allowing themselves to be conned into believing that abortions give them absolute authority when it comes to their bodies, it has allowed men, at least since Roe v. Wade, to engage in unprotected sex without having to worry about having to support another human being for the next 18 years.

I’m sorry to be the one to point it out, ladies, but you’ve been had!

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