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Burt Prelutsky / Aug. 19, 2019

Trump the Impaler?

I think it's safe to say that even Vlad the Impaler, allegedly the model for Dracula, received better press than President Trump.

I think it’s safe to say that even Vlad the Impaler, allegedly the model for Dracula, received better press than President Trump.

If the members of the lying media aren’t calling him Hitler, a Nazi or a member of the Klan, they accuse him of causing every mass-murder in the country. The fact is, if the media weren’t so biased, they would falsely accuse Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren of being responsible for the Dayton massacre and blame Sanders, alone, for the targeting of Republican congressmen on the baseball diamond last year. After all, in both cases, the shooters were left-wingers who supported these unapologetic Socialists.

To hear the numbskulls go on about it, you would think that Trump had been responsible for the sinking of the Titanic and the crash of the Hindenburg, whereas the only thing they really have against him is the sinking of Hillary Clinton’s presidential hopes. Before that, they all loved the big guy and happily lined up to kiss his butt and accept a campaign contribution.

I find it odd, but hardly surprising, that the same folks who accuse Trump of promoting white supremacists never accused Barack Obama of promoting black supremacists, even though he invariably took the side of black thugs against the police, going so far as to claim that one of the schmucks reminded him of the son he never had.

He also made it clear that he felt a kinship with Al Sharpton, Eric Holder and the mob that constituted the Black Lives Matter movement.

Speaking of left-wing hypocrites, a gang of liberal demonstrators, insisting they opposed violence, showed up outside Sen. Mitch McConnell’s house the other evening chanting that he should be killed.

They’re not really against violence, not so long as it’s directed against those they oppose. Whether it’s the creeps in Antifa or Maxine Waters, who called for her followers to attack members of Trump’s administration and his family members whenever they were spotted in public places, violence is mother’s milk to those on the Left.

Rep. Joaquin Castro, the twin brother of presidential contender Julián Castro, not only tweeted out the names of 40 people in San Antonio who donated money to Donald Trump’s campaign but identified their businesses and their employers in an attempt to turn them into pariahs in a city that is predominantly Latino.

At the very least, you would think his House colleagues would call for Castro to be censured, but if they haven’t had a problem with the vile tweets of Rep. Ilhan Omar and Rep. Rashida Tlaib, I suppose that would be too much to expect.

But, perhaps nothing better exposes the depths to which these hypocrites can sink than the fact that Kamala Harris, Bernie Sanders and Cory Booker, who have all voiced their concern with the care and feeding of homosexuals and transgenders, have all trolled for votes at the Baptist Missionary Church, where the pastor, Robert Fowler, regularly insists from his pulpit that gays will all go to hell.

It would make for a welcome change if they would at least own up to their hypocrisy and their bloodthirstiness. I mean, at least when the ancient Romans showed up at the Coliseum they didn’t pretend to be rooting for the Christians against the lions.

One thing you have to say about Democrats is that they keep coming up with ways to create new voters, whether it’s by inviting them to invade the country, by registering those in cemeteries or, now, by advocating that 16-year-olds get to vote. But at least there’s some division in the ranks. Andrew Yang and Beto O'Rourke favor giving the vote to high school juniors, while Joe Biden and Kirsten Gillibrand are against it. One can only imagine that the internal polls by Biden and Gillibrand have shown that they’re not testing as well with teenage morons as they are with slightly older idiots.

What do you say we forget about raising tariffs on China and just stop trading with them until they come crawling back? I mean, they apparently really need our soybeans, but all we get from them is cheap, badly-made crapola and poisoned pet food. And then, for good measure, they swipe our technology, build islands in the South China Sea, turning them into military bases, and bully the people of Hong Kong.

Why should we keep tying our economy to theirs?

How bad are things here in California, you ask? I recently learned that there are now 39 more registered Democrats than Republicans in formerly conservative Orange County.

The New York Times traded its credibility in a long time ago. But a measure of how closely it has tied itself to the Democratic party was on full display last week when a front page headline read “Trump Urges Unity vs. Racism,” which is exactly what the President had done in an address delivered after the shootings in Dayton and El Paso.

Later in the day, after getting tongue-lashed by Democratic candidates Sanders, O'Rourke and Gillibrand, the Times revised the headline to read: “Assailing Hate But Not Guns.”

With all the recent chatter about guns, the one thing that rarely gets talked about is that the massacres always take place in gun-free zones. Apparently, a certain type of bozo thinks such places have the magical power to protect them, even though time and again that delusion has proven false. I’m reminded that years ago, I lived in a neighborhood rife with elderly Jewish women. It used to scare me to death when I’d see a pair of them step off the curb without even glancing in either direction, so certain were they that nobody would dare run them down so long as they were in the crosswalk.

They were usually right, but not always.

What liberals never seem to grasp is that if we’d had gun-free zones in 1776, today our national pastime would be cricket.

The one talent that liberals possess is the ability to put lipstick on pigs, whether it’s labeling illegal aliens “undocumented immigrants,” allowing actual fascists to claim to be Antifa(cists) or, like Alan Binder, writing in the New York Times, referring to fetal heartbeats as “embryonic pulsing.”

With his gift for dehumanizing innocent victims, I’m sure that Mr. Binder would have proven himself invaluable to the Third Reich, possibly renaming concentration camps “workers retreats” and Dr. Mengele’s tortured victims as “medical research assistants.”

Russ Mothershed sent me a cartoon of a pollster asking a housewife “What should we do with people who rely on government handouts but are too lazy to work?”

Her reply: “Kick them out of Congress!”

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