Joe Biden’s cognitive decline is well documented, as are his various trips and falls. The Washington Free Beacon’s Andrew Stiles has far too much fun with his humorous commentary on recent news that Biden has changed shoes to help keep him from falling.

Joe Biden, 81, is just trying to stay alive until Election Day, and has made a number of behavioral adjustments to increase his life expectancy. Most of these adjustments are designed to mitigate the risk of falls, which are the leading cause of injury-related death in Americans over the age of 65. In addition to using the short stairs to get on and off Air Force One, Biden has started wearing stability-enhancing sneakers instead of dress shoes to accommodate his “stiffened gait,” as noted by the president’s doctor in his annual physical.

Biden was recently spotted wearing a pair of black Hoka Transport sneakers with a suit. While most fashion experts consider this combo an abomination, Politico described it as “another concession to comfort necessitated by age,” as well as the lingering soreness in the foot he broke while playing with one of his dogs several weeks before taking office. The Hoka shoes boast a seal of approval from the American Podiatric Medical Association and are highly praised by senior citizens, pregnant women, and injury-prone individuals.

Stiles concludes:

Biden’s new shoes may increase his chances of surviving until Election Day, but at what cost? They are hideous and clunky, especially when paired with a suit. They convey weakness and decline, an open invitation to America’s enemies to attack. Our country deserves so much better.

Read the whole thing here.