For the Record

“The person who is actually using illegal immigrants as political pawns is Joe Biden. Joe Biden has created this open-border policy that has allowed illegal immigrants into our country to appeal to and to appease the far leftists in the Democrat Party … in hopes of trying to win their support while at the same time destroying the country that he’s in charge of. He is the commander-in-chief in charge of national security for our country. Our country is being invaded in ways that put our country at risk because of the political games that Joe Biden has played. And Mayor [Eric] Adams is just aiding and abetting that by having a ‘sanctuary city’ status, welcoming in anybody from across the world to live there or stay there in New York City.” —Texas Governor Greg Abbott

Dezinformatsiya

“Biden … has clamped down on unauthorized border crossings.” —USA Today

Dumb & Dumber

“I can safely walk my dog to the Capitol today in a way that you couldn’t do when we all got here.” —Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg, who is guarded by security

“We got a solar eclipse. We’ve got the earthquake. … Also, I learned that cicadas are coming for the first time in like a hundred years. … All those things together would maybe lead one to believe that … climate change exists.” —"The View" co-host Sunny Hostin

“I experienced my first earthquake in NJ. We never get earthquakes. The climate crisis is real.” —New Jersey Senate candidate Christina Amira Khalil

Hot Air

“You’re seeing the impacts, really, of climate change on people’s heating bills."—Energy Secretary Jennifer Granholm

Gaslighting

"We’re … achieving a lot as a country. And while there is a very well-funded noise machine trying to poke holes in those achievements, trying to talk down the economy and all the things America has done, I think it reflects well on the president that the American people under his leadership and the American economy under his leadership have added so many jobs.” —Secretary Pete Buttigieg

“I think we can feel great about our economy. … The U.S. is firing on all cylinders.” —Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen

Village Idiot

“[Trump] will take a hammer and break the glass where the Constitution is, and he will tear it up in our faces and say: ‘Now I’m the king of the f—ing world. You will bow down, b-tch.’ He will punish everybody that didn’t vote for him. … [Trump] will have us in camps.” —actress Jenifer Lewis

“[Whites] are going to do everything they can to stay in those gated communities, not pay taxes, and put those n—ers in their places and get those wetbacks out of this country.” —Jenifer Lewis

Race Bait

“Rather than deal with the core inequities in our system, [Trump] finds a villain. And the villain happens to be people who don’t look like his base, who speak with an accent, who come from somewhere else.” —Congressman Dan Kildee (D-MI)

“What Donald Trump is trying to do … is to normalize bigotry again, to make it okay … and to try to motivate people to act on the worst instincts that they all carry inside them.” —Rep. Dan Kildee

A Broken Clock Is Right Twice a Day

“Squatters have no rights. How can you even pretend that this is anything other than you’re just breaking the law?” —Senator John Fetterman (D-PA)

“Israel is a democracy, it is our key special ally. And our nation wouldn’t appreciate any kind of foreign input. So why should we do that for Israel?” —Sen. John Fetterman

Belly Laughs of the Day

“[Biden] has the wisdom, the judgment, and the temperament to take on difficult, complex situations like the one that we’re facing in the Middle East.” —Biden campaign communications director Michael Tyler

“There is no one who has a better grasp of global issues of world affairs than President Joe Biden. … There is no one who has the same level of respect on the world stage than Joe Biden does.” —Biden campaign finance chair Rufus Gifford

And Last…

“Benjamin Netanyahu doesn’t need advice from Joe Biden. He has a history of being wrong, including opposing the raid to take out Osama bin Laden.” —Gary Bauer

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