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August 25, 2025

Gavin Trump’s Perilous Parody

The greasy governor of the Failed State of California has taken to mimicking Donald Trump, but he can’t cover up his own failings or the profound weakness of the Democrats’ bench.

You’d think maybe this guy has more pressing things to worry about. Like the soaring crime rate, or the spiraling debt, or the human trafficking, or the failing schools, or the hyper-regulation, or the water crisis, or the insurance crisis, or the tent cities, or the poop patrols, or the bone-crushing taxation, or the highest cost of living in the nation, or the high-speed rail to nowhere, or the smoldering ruins of last year’s wildfires, or the nearly five million of his fellow citizens living below the poverty line, or the unprecedented out-migration of Californians, or the Mexifornification of what was once our most glorious and prosperous state.

You’d think.

But you’d be wrong. Instead, California Governor Gavin Newsom — or is it Newscum? — is hard at work on his Trump schtick. It’s true that the Oleaginous One can’t govern for gumboots, but he does this knee-slapper of a Trump impersonation. And if that doesn’t take a guy to the top of the list of 2028 Democrat presidential hopefuls, well, we don’t know what will.

And so, rather than addressing California’s manifold maladies, Newsom is out there goading Trump, doing everything he can to get under the president’s admittedly thin skin. To be sure, Gavin Newsom isn’t fit to schlep Trump’s jockstrap, but still. As The Hill reports:

Newsom has taken a page from Trump’s playbook, mirroring everything from the president’s rants to his social media habits. In recent days, the California governor has touted his own “beautiful” midterm redistricting proposal and his “beautiful” rally to boot — needling Trump’s braggadocious ways. Newsom has started to write his social media posts in ALL CAPS, just like the president.

ALL CAPS. LOL!! ISN’T THAT A HOOT??

But wait. There’s more. Newsom recently tweeted that he’s opened his own “Patriot Shop,” which mocks the goods found in Trump’s store — goods such as red hats with “NEWSOM WAS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING!” on them. We opened the Patriot Shop in 2004, so my colleague Nate Jackson quipped, “If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then what about trademark infringement?”

Newsom is even promoting a derisive Trump nickname, TACO, a tariff-inspired acronym for “Trump Always Chickens Out.”

Ask Vladimir Putin if Trump chickened out when he greased all those Russian mercs.

“Democrats are over being the ‘nice guy’ party,” said Democrat strategist and former Kamala Harris communications director Jamal Simmons. “Standing up for Dem values doesn’t mean you have to play by the old rules, and Newsom in particular is showing he’ll go as low as he needs to take on Trump.”

In other words, the Democrats are still going to push the same ruinous policies that the American people so resoundingly rejected at the ballot box last year, but now they’re going to do it with a sputtering snarl on their faces. You’ll take our trannies and like it, you stupid rubes!

Of course, there’s also the matter of Trump being term-limited — or is he? — from a 2028 run, which means that Newsom and his cheerleaders are focusing on the wrong target. The guy they’ll likely face in the next election, whether it’s JD Vance or Ron DeSantis or Glenn Youngkin, will be a lot harder to caricature than Trump. Which means that he might instead have to talk about, you know, his ruinous progressive policies and his record as governor. As the Brown Bomber once said, “He can run, but he can’t hide.”

The campaign ad writes itself: Gavin Newsom. He’ll do for America what he did for California.

Nonetheless, the self-discrediting legacy media has breathlessly anointed Newsom as the Democrat frontrunner — which only goes to show how utterly decrepit is the donkey bench.

Because let’s face it: Gavin Newsom is a presidential frontrunner in the same way that head lice is a parasitic frontrunner among intestinal worms and flesh-eating maggots.

But, hey, come to think of it: Run, Gavin, RUN!

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