Rule #1 of congressional politics: Know your district.

If, for example, your congressional district is dominated by thieving Somali immigrants and Trump-deranged leftist catwomen, then by all means marry your brother, then marry your pollster, strut your Jew-hatred, and disgrace yourself by calling the American president a “liar” and a “murderer” at the State of the Union. Do these things in a district like that, and you’ve likely got a congressional seat for life.

But if, on the other hand, your district is solidly red, solidly conservative, deeply patriotic, and fully supportive of Donald Trump and his America First agenda, then it’s probably not a good idea to break with conservatives on policy issues such as Joe Biden’s “Infrastructure” boondoggle, the squishy and notoriously weak 2024 bipartisan immigration deal, and lavish funding for Biden’s “small incursion” cleanup in Ukraine. Moreover, you shouldn’t call members of the House Republican Freedom Caucus “grifters” and “performance artists.” And if your uniquely popular Republican president questions the integrity and legitimacy of a 2020 election that saw basement-bound Joe Biden get more population-adjusted votes than rock-star Barack Obama got in 2008, then you should probably trust his instincts rather than dismissing his claims as “reckless,” “always a lie,” “a lie meant to rile people up,” and “demonstrably unconstitutional.”

Do all these things in a district like that, and you’re likely to be voted out of a job and into a defense-industry lobbying gig. And sure enough.

Dan Crenshaw, the four-term Republican Texas congressman and former Navy SEAL, either didn’t know his district or he didn’t care, and, come January 2027, he’ll likely trade in his $174,000-per-year DC gig for something far more lucrative. In what is certainly the most stunning upset of the young 2026 primary season, Crenshaw was soundly thumped, 56-40, in his primary battle by conservative challenger Steve Toth.

A pastor, state representative, and staunch supporter of Donald Trump, Toth got an 11th-hour endorsement from Texas Senator Ted Cruz, although I don’t think he needed it. Still, for a sitting U.S. senator to break with a fellow Republican incumbent like that is pretty remarkable. The Appropriated Press seemed crestfallen about the result, calling Toth a member of the “hard right” (read: patriotic) state Republican caucus and guilt-tripping the voters by reminding them — as if they didn’t already know — that Crenshaw lost his right eye to an IED in Afghanistan in 2012.

Crenshaw’s political survival instincts kicked in a bit late, though, and his last-minute, er, performance artistry to trumpet his alignment with Trump didn’t convince Texas voters. “If you think I’m not MAGA enough,” he said in a February interview with the Houston Chronicle’s editorial board, “then you’re not following me on social media, that’s the reality.”

The reality for Crenshaw, though, is that all his baggage appears to have come back to bite him. Perhaps not surprisingly, he was the only incumbent Texas congressman not to receive an endorsement from Trump this cycle.

As for the Republican senatorial contest between squishy four-term incumbent John Cornyn and checkered challenger Ken Paxton, the current Texas attorney general, it’s shaping up to be a heckuva mud fight. Cornyn squeaked by Paxton last night, 42-41, with Congressman Wesley Hunt garnering 13% of the vote and thereby preventing either of the other two from getting the necessary 50% to avoid a May 26 runoff.

In his survive-and-advance speech, Paxton punched the incumbent right in his establishment underbelly: “While John Cornyn was cutting deals on gun control and amnesty, I was suing corrupt Joe Biden over 107 times.”

Cornyn made it personal with Paxton, focusing on the challenger’s “indefensible personal behavior and failures in office” and warning, “If the Democrats win because we nominate a flawed candidate with incredible baggage like the attorney general, then that last two years of [Trump’s] agenda is jeopardized.”

On the other side of the aisle, Trump-deranged, cane-waggling Congressman Al Green looks like he’ll be out of a job as well. He’s currently trailing Christian Menifee 46 to 42 in his deep-blue 18th Congressional District.

As for the crucial Texas Senate seat, Democrat James Talarico beat performance artist Jasmine Crockett by a 53-46 margin, thereby sparing his party a brutal curb-stomping of the R-droppin’ Jazzy in the November election. Oh well. We can’t win ‘em all. "I can tell you now that we have been disenfranchised,“ said a predictably sore-losing, race-baiting Crockett.

In his victory speech, Talarico invoked both Abraham Lincoln and Barack Obama: "This is truly a campaign of, by, and for the people,” he said, while adding, “We are not just trying to win an election. We are trying to fundamentally change our politics.”

Beware of lawmakers bearing fundamental change, I always say.